Sunday, October 28, 2012

Entry 142: This is the Story of Hurricane

No time for a long entry this weekend.  My parents came to town, and I wanted to hang out with them, so I didn't have much free time to sit down and really crank something out.  It's great having them here and meeting Lil' S for the first time.  We have plenty of great pics to show for it.  

They are leaving on Tuesday, weather permitting.  Hurricane Sandy is making it's way north and is suppose to wreck havoc on the Mid-Atlantic region in the next few days.  Last I saw DC was just within the error bounds of it's projected path; it's unlikely that we will get the brunt of it, but heavy rain is a near certainty.  In fact weather.com is saying the chance of rain here tomorrow is 100% -- a prediction the likes of which I've never seen before on weather.com.  Last time my parents visited a crazy derecho blew through town, and thousands of people lost their power for an extended period of time.  Coincidence?  Yes, absolutely.

Below is the a youtube video of Bob Dylan's epic song "Hurricane" about a professional boxer named Rubin "Hurricane" Carter who was wrongfully convicted of murder.  Denzel Washington played him a 1999 biopic.  It's a pretty good song, but if you listen to the lyrics carefully they're very ramble-y and pretty bad overall.

Anyway, this is my reverse jinx for Sandy coming through here.



Saturday, October 20, 2012

Entry 141: Binders Full of Women (My Dating Life When I Was Single)

OK, I never had binders full of women when I was single; a few scattered numbers in my phone is a lot closer to the truth.  It's weird that this is the line that people are giving Romney grief for.  In context, it doesn't seem bad to me.  He's basically just saying that he reviewed a lot of women for staff positions, what's wrong with that?  Of course, in typical Etch-A-Sketch Mitt fashion, he's probably not being honest about it, but that's not what has the Internet astir.  I guess it comes off as kinda condescending, and it's a funny meme (my favorite joke on the topic is by one of my Facebook friends, "Romney also has Trapper Keepers full of minorities"), but it's pretty low on my list of things to criticize Romney about.  I'd much rather have the "gotchas" be on his bullshit tax plan (this link is funny), or his utter disregard for any sort of environmental or economic regulation, or his contempt for people who aren't rich, or his general willingness to do or say anything to anybody to get elected, or... well, you get the point.  So it's strange to me that people are focusing on this "binders full of women" line.  It's a bit like when a call goes for your team in a game, but you thought objectively it shouldn't have been called -- you just shrug your shoulders and accept it because there's going to be one that breaks against you down the line, so it all evens out.  If people want to dis Mitt for what seems like a mostly benign comment to me, have at it, it slightly balances all the BS he gets away with, and I certainly don't want him to win, anyway. 

[It's pretty remarkable that Trapper Keepers were insanely popular during my grade-school days.  Why would any kid care about a plastic portfolio?  I guess that's marketing at its best or worst, depending on how your feel about manipulating the minds of impressionable youths.]

As to whether or not he's going to win, who knows?  Obama is still a 68% favorite in FiveThirtyEight Forecast.  This is up a bit from his pre-second-debate odds, but way down from his pre-first-debate odds.  The national polls are right around 50-50, but Obama has held a slim but consistent advantage many swing states, particularly Ohio, and it might all come down to, whoever wins the Buckeye State wins the election.

Given the state of the economy (bad), it's quite an achievement for Obama to be leading at all.  But given the dreadfulness of Mitt Romney as a candidate, it's a feather in his cap that Obama's not ahead by more.  I mean, you have a guy who is openly campaigning against his opponent's signature bill (Obamacare), despite the fact that he implemented the same basic law as a governor and called it, "a model for the nation". If this isn't a definitive example that the guy doesn't have the integrity to be president, I don't know what is.  Of course Romney claims he meant his healthcare law was a model for the nation "state by state", but that's not what he meant.  I know it's not what he meant, because if it is what he meant, it's what he would have said.  He would have said, "It's a model for other states" or something like that.  He said "the nation", and didn't mention anything about individual states, because clearly he meant the nation and not individual states.  It's only after Obamacare actually came to fruition, and Mitt realized he couldn't win the GOP primary and support it that he came up with his clearly bogus, post hoc rationalization.  I think even most Republicans would admit this if they were being honest (I know an honest Republican is quite a fantastical notion, but you can imagine it, if you try), they're just going to support him anyway.  Fine, but hardcore Reps are only about 33% of the country, where the other 17% of soon-to-be Romney voters come from is beyond me.


[The state that's "round on the ends and 'hi' in the middle... O-HI-O".  I bet Sandusky, Ohio has really taken a PR hit since the Penn State scandal.  Speaking of which, hilarious Onion headline, here.]

Anyway, enough about politics.  Let's talk about other things.  Like how men's testosterone levels drop after they have kids especially if they co-sleep with their babies.  I don't generally share a bed with my baby (sometimes I don't even share one with my wife), but I do feel like my testosterone is dropping.  I haven't felt the desire to curb-stomp anybody in at least two months.  I've been doing my best to keep the levels up by watching copious amounts of football and MMA.  It's been mostly working, but sometimes I do get sucked into S's chick shows like Project Runway and House Hunters.  My favorite part about the latter is when people hear their house is worth 50 grand less than they were expecting.  I don't know why I like this, it's a weird sort of schadenfreude.  It's even better when they act as if the appraiser is personally insulting them.  As somebody who tries to look at things critically and objectively, it's refreshing to watch people get a reality check, even if it's a harsh one.  I think that's why I like it.  Or maybe I'm just a dick, that's another a possibility.

Ever since we bought our house, I've started keep an eye on real estate prices in the DC area.  I always take a peek at the listings in our neighborhood paper, and I make it a point to check out any "For Sale" signs I see; I never did either of these things before.  They actually had an episode of House Hunters in DC; the couple's budget was about 75% of what we paid for our house, and I kept thinking, "They better not get a better house than ours."  When they settled on a fixer-upper in a not-horrible-but-not-great neighborhood (albeit one with a Metro stop, unlike our neighborhood) I was satisfied.  I don't want to put this house on the market someday and have it be worth 50 grand less than we were expecting.  Then I'd have to smugly laugh at myself.

Alright, that's all for this entry.  Until next time...

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Entry 140: DC Fans


First a few items in sporting news to mention.  Both the baseball teams in the Washington-Baltimore metro area were eliminated from the playoffs last night.  The big-picture story isn't that they were both eliminated, it's that they both made the playoffs in the first place -- the probability at the beginning of the season of this occurring was right around 1%*.  I was kinda pulling for Baltimore because my boss is a huge Orioles fans, and he's a good guy, so he would've been happy, but they lost to those damn Yankees.  I was kinda pulling against the Nationals (despite adopting them as my NL team earlier this season) because they shutdown their best pitcher Stephen Strasburg before the playoffs -- a bizarrely overcautious move that I wanted to backfire, which it did, sort of.  Who knows what happens if Strasburg pitches?  You enter a Back to the Future II alternate-1985 (in this case 2012) reality, and it's moot to speculate on what it would have looked like.  What you can say, however, is that the Nats made a move that clearly diminished their odds to win the NLDS, and then they didn't win.  What makes it even more heartbreaking for Nats fans is that they were winning the decider 6-0 early in the game and twice had the Cardinals down to their final strike, but couldn't seal the deal.


And while I'm on the topic of Nats fans, let me say this, in my view there are no real Nats fans between the ages of 21 and 50 (family and friends of the players, people with a financial stake in team, and the players themselves excepted).  The Washington Nationals began play in 2005, 7 years ago, and age 14 is roughly the cutoff for when you can really be a fan of a team.  After 14 you can follow a team, you can root for them, but you can't develop the ingrained, emotional attachment of a real fan -- it's simply not possible.  A team's performance just doesn't effect your being and mood the way it does for fans who established a connection pre-14.

It's like learning a language.  You can take ESL classes as an adult, but you'll always have an accent, even if you've been in the US for 30 years.  On the other hand, a 10-year old can come to this country and speak like a native by the time he or she is 11.  It's the same way in fan-dom.  Sports fans who find a team after the age of 14 always have a "fan accent", they can never be a native speaker.  And by the way, this isn't a bad thing or a knock on accent fans.  I wish I cared less about Seattle sports teams.  Trust me, I know how pathetic it is to have my mood effected by the performance of a bunch of 20-something millionaires (many of whom aren't the greatest guys in the world) to whom I have no direct connection.  But I got it in me when I was little and it's tough to get rid of it, just like it's tough to unlearn your native language.  It can be done, but it's probably not worth the effort.

[On the right, Oriole legend and Jules Winnfield lookalike, Eddie Murray.]

You'll notice I also allow for people over 50 to be Nats fans.  This is because it's possible they were fans of the old Washington Senators who moved to Arlington after the 1971 season and became the Texas Rangers.**  Someone who is 50 now would have been 9 or 10 in 1971 which is just about the right age for when a sports team can initially become ingrained in your psyche.  It's perfectly reasonable to replace a now non-existence team of which you were once a real fan with a new team in the same city.  It happened to Cleveland fans with the Browns and hopefully will someday happen to Seattle fans with the Sonics.

So that's it for Nats fans -- kids and seniors.  For everybody else in this city, we can go to the games and cheer and cop a "Nattitude" (this is an actual, terrible marketing term), but let's not pretend like the game effects us that much one way of the other.

In other sporting news, my old B'ham friend Barb "Little Warrior" Honchak won another fight.  Here's the link.  The announcers kept talking about the other fighter's defense, and I was just thinking to myself, "Defense?  She's getting whupped.  What about Barb's offense?"

Anyway, in non-sporting news, S and I get our first night out tonight since Lil' S came along.  Both her parents are in town, and we're going to take advantage of the babysitting by going out to eat with some friends.  Dinner starts at 6:30, and I'm setting the even-money over/under for when we will be home at 9:15.  I'm sure we will get antsy about being away for too long, and S will probably be dead tired by then anyway.  She usually goes to bed around 9:30.  I'm always up on night shift.  I haven't gone to sleep before 1:15 since Lil' S has been born.  I don't get much sleep, but I figured out an easy way to deal with it.  It's called being tired.  You just be tired all the time -- there's nothing to it.   



It'll be nice to get out, if only briefly.  Lately a "date" for S and me is an episode of Homeland while she pumps breast milk.  We just started Homeland, and it's looking like a solid choice.  It's got Mandy Patinkin in it, which is a great choice.  Claire Danes is really good so far, too.  One thing that bothers me about a typical TV drama is that they always have a foxy woman playing a role that a foxy woman just wouldn't be in in real life (like crime scene investigator), but with Claire Danes's character they made her borderline psychotic which makes it more believable to me.  The only gripe I have with the show is the following.  The premise is that a POW US Marine has been rescued and returned home, but he was actually flipped and is now an al-Qaeda agent.  Danes, a CIA analyst knows it and is trying to prove it (this isn't a spoiler, BTW, it's all explained in the pilot).  The show is set in the DC-area where Danes lives and works (since she's with the CIA), but it also is where the POW Marine comes home to.  His family lives here also.  Here's my big question: why does his family live in this area?  He's a Marine, couldn't they live anywhere in the country?  Is it just a complete coincidence that his family lives in the DC area?  This seems way too lucky.  They need to explain this, it bothers me.

Anyway, gotta get ready for a big night out.  Until next time...

*Technically the probability was around .01, as a probability, using a strict mathematical definition, is a number between 0 and 1, not a percentage, but you get my point.   

**These Washington Senators, who began play as an expansion team in 1961, aren't to be confused with the original Washington Senators, who were an inaugural member in the AL in 1901 before moving to Minnesota and becoming the Twins after the 1960 season.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Entry 139: Nannies and Such

"Childcare" is the watchword around my household these days.  S is still on maternity leave and her mom is still visiting/helping out, but soon enough S will have to go back to work, and her mom with have to go back to her home in South Carolina, and then we will need somebody to watch Lil' S.  We thought about daycare, but we couldn't find a decent daycare nearby; we thought about an au pair, but we don't really want to give up a section of our house to a stranger; we wanted to do a nanny share, but couldn't find one in our neighborhood; so, we decided to suck it up and hire our own nanny.  I think we found our woman.  She's really nice, she seems to do well with the baby, and most importantly she has excellent references.  She's also affordable, by nanny standards, which means it's still going to cost an arm and a leg, but we can swing it as long as we both have jobs, and if it ever happens that we don't both have jobs, then we won't need a nanny, so in a way, it all works out.  It's a reverse catch-22.


Speaking of nannies, for some reason I find the TV show "The Nanny" incredibly funny.  Not the show itself -- I've never actually seen an episode -- but the concept of the show.  Once in grad school, on a sweltering summer day, a fellow student walked into the math department from outside, dripping with sweat, and loudly proclaimed, "It's hotter than Fran Drescher outside!"  Maybe you had to be there, but it was hysterical.  Ever since then, "The Nanny" has been my go-to show whenever I'm making a joke whose punchline requires a stupid TV show.  Considering it's been off the air for nearly 15 years, I should probably come up with a more recent joke show.  "According to Jim" is a strong candidate, but I've heard it referenced mockingly several other times, so it's not original.  What's a good show to use that's currently on the air, "Cougar Town"?  Seems too obvious.  I'll have to give it some thought. 

[Look him!  It's Hulk Hogan in a tutu.... hahahahaha!  A man with big biceps trying to take care of kids!  Yeah, right!]

In other news, the first presidential debate went down Wednesday night, and by all accounts it was a major loss for President Obama.  I watched the entire thing and didn't think it was nearly as bad as everybody else, although I do think Romney "won".  But it's a lot easier to "win" if you're willing to say anything to anybody at anytime, without regard to truth or principle, in an attempt to get the audience on your side.  In addition to hammering Romney on his lack of specifics, which Obama did (although it was more like he lightly tapped Romney than hammered him), Obama should've continually hammered him on pandering to the audience.  I would've called him a used car salesman.  I would've brought up the 47% comments, brought up all his contradictions, and asked the audience why what he's saying tonight would be any different, but whatever...

The polls are already starting to swing for Romney, but the most recent jobs report was favorable for Obama, so who knows?  Of course many Reps are claiming the jobs report was faked.  Yep, that's where the GOP is at these days.  They would rather denigrate non-partisan civil servants -- many of whom, I'm guessing, worked under the Bush administration, as well -- implicating them in a nearly-impossible, beyond-ludicrous (and probably illegal) fraud, than concede a tiny bit of good news for the country (the country in which they also reside) is legitimate, because this good news would help their political opponent.  Look, if the American people are stupid enough to vote for these people then sadly we will get what we deserve.  And if Obama can't stand up to this nonsense in an effective manner, and if he can't protect his dwindling, but still sizable lead, then sadly he probably doesn't deserve a second term.

[South Park.  It's from 2004, but still applicable today.]

I decided that I'm not going to watch the next debates.  I might watch the VP debate just because Biden and Ryan are both nutty in their own ways, and it might be entertaining, but I'm done with the presidential debates.  The first one was depressing, it wasn't informative, it was mostly boring, and when it wasn't boring it upset me.  It's all downside, no upside, why put myself through that again?

It also caused me, albeit very indirectly, to royal screw myself Thursday evening.  I was changing into my work-out clothes at the gym, deep in thought, pondering what I would've said if I were in Obama's shoes the night before (I annihilate Romney in my head, by the way).  I locked my locker, went to grab the key, and... no key.  I look all around the area, check all my pockets, it's nowhere to be found.  I know exactly where it must be -- in my bag in the locked locker.  I absentmindedly put it in there.  Also in there are my wallet and my car keys.  Luckily (this adverb is used in a very relative manner, here) I have my phone because I was planning on listening to a podcast while I exercised.  At least I can still enjoy "The Dave Dameshek Football Program" while I'm stuck.    

 
The main problem is that my gym is a small workout center on the lower level of an office building.  It's not a gym gym.  There's no staff around to help me.  Adding to my trouble, the electronic badge to open the door to the gym is also in my bag, so if I leave I won't be able to get back in, unless somebody is in there to let me in.  While there are still people there, I go out and track down a security guard and a janitor on the off chance they can help me -- maybe they have a bolt cutter or a hacksaw or something, my lock is pretty thin -- but alas they cannot.  My next idea, which is not one of my finer ideas, if I do say so myself, is to wait for everybody to leave the gym (there are only two other people there), grab a thirty-pound dumbbell and smash my lock off.  I have visions of The Chief in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" lifting the giant console, smashing the fenced window, and running to freedom, while a young Christopher Lloyd and Danny DeVito maniacally cheer him on.



So I wait for everybody to clear out, I take the dumbbell and smash my lock twice, hard, so hard that the metallic coating on the dumbbell where I stuck the lock chips off, there is a weird burning smell in the air, and my lock is hot.  But it wasn't hard enough to bust it off.  It's not even damaged.  That thing is stronger than it looks.  My next idea is to pry the locker open from the side using a handle attachment for the fly machine.  I just want to get it open enough to get my hand in and grab my key.  It's actually going OK, I'm getting a little separation, but then I get an impulse, it's a good impulse, it's one I've had before, it's a stay-out-of-trouble impulse.  In order for me to create enough space to get my hand at my bag, I'm going to have to completely mutilate the wall of this locker, which I can probably eventually do, but this locker doesn't belong to me.  I'm only allowed to use it because of where I work.  If I destroy this property that is indirectly linked to my job, probably nothing happens, probably nobody will really care, probably nobody will even know, but on the off chance it does come back to me, it could end very badly.  I stop.  I've been stupid enough up to this point, time to do something smart (i.e., obvious) and salvage the situation.  I Google a locksmith, call him, wait an hour, pay him $204 (robbery!), and he drills the lock off.  Ugh... I finally get home at like 9:30.  Terrible night.  Of course when you have a little baby boy to come home to, it suddenly doesn't seem so terrible.  Still, from now on, I'm only using combination locks.         

OK, that's all.  Until next time...