I had my anus probed yesterday. Well, technically, I had my large bowel and distal portions of my small bowel probed -- the anus was merely the adit for the probe -- but you probably get what I'm saying: I had my first colonoscopy yesterday. The colonoscopy is often used as an exaggerated comparison for something extremely unpleasant -- I'd rather get a colonoscopy than watch that movie again -- and I now truly get why. It's terrible. The procedure itself is fine -- you don't even know it happened* -- but the preparation is brutal.
*They knocked me out with propofol, which I best know as the drug that killed Michael Jackson. It's a pretty good drug, actually. It knocked me out cold instantly, but when I woke up twenty minutes later, I was full coherent, if quite groggy.
For three days* before the procedure, you have to be on a special diet, in which you can only eat plain, soft, colorless food. Then one day before the procedure you can't eat much of anything, other than lemon jello and pineapple popsicles, but that's not a concern because you won't feel like eating, anyway. You don't have much of an appetite, when you are ingesting copious amounts of laxative and "pooping" out everything in your body that isn't secured in place. I use the quotes because, after a while, what you are doing can be better described as peeing than pooping. The stuff coming out of you is a yellow liquid, indistinguishable from pee, other than the fact it's coming out of your butt. You are booty-peeing, and you are doing it almost uncontrollably. I was a little worried I was going to wet myself on the way to the clinic. I didn't, but I brought a change of undies, just in case.
*The clinic where I got my colonoscopy actually said you should start this diet five days before the procedure. But I didn't notice this until it was too late. I was going by a different set of instructions I found somewhere that said three days. So, four days before the procedure, I had a massive Mexican feast and ate a mound of black beans, the worst thing to eat, according to the instructions. It all worked out, though. I think a lot of times doctors' offices pad their instructions a bit knowing people will not follow them perfectly. It's like how they tell you to arrive 45 minutes before your procedure, even though you will almost surely not be called back until well after your appointment time. It's a little annoying, but what's more annoying is how everybody wants you to do a pre-check-in online now. That sounds like a good, time-saving idea, until you get to the appointment and have to fill out a bunch forms giving the same information you already gave online.
But it was all worth it. I don't have colon cancer, and the gastroenterologist didn't even find any polyps. Not that I was worried about it. This was a strictly preventative procedure. I got it because a doctor recommended I get it. I mean, I am 47, and the internet says you should get one by 45, so, if anything, I was a little behind (no pun intended). The best part is that I don't have to get another one for seven to ten years. The second best part is that in the waiting room before the procedure, they were playing "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot, which I think was coincidental but would be hilarious if it wasn't. Sadly, Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" did not come on next.
In other news, the listserv for the parents at Lil' S2's school was absolutely blowing up yesterday. There was a "racial incident" that has gotten everybody abuzz. The school has been very guarded when it comes to releasing information, but they did release a statement, and with that, and the report of other parents, we have some understanding of what happened. Some kids were using racial slurs, including (presumably) the n-word, and two teachers responded to this by separating their students into groups by their racial identities. During this exhibition, one of the teachers used the unabbreviated n-word, as part of an explanation. (I believe she said something to the effect of, "You can't be calling each other [n-word]s.) For context, the races of the students involved are unknown,* but both the teachers are Black women.
*We do know Lil' S2 wasn't involved, at all, thankfully.
As you can imagine, this caused a big stir -- it apparently dominated back-to-school night and the local news even did a story on it -- and a lot of people have opinions on it they wish to share. I've not posted anything to the listserv, but my feeling on the matter is: Can't we just move on? Do we really need to expend this much energy on this incident? Like, whatever happened to "just don't do that again"?
With regards to the initial incident, the kids using racial slurs, it's bad, obviously, but, keep in mind, they're 9-years-old. They don't really understand what these things mean, yet, and I find it hard to believe anybody was deeply traumatized by this. If anything, making such a big deal out of it, only makes it worse. The students should be told not to use this type of language, of course, but I struggle to see what will be gained by going beyond this.
With regards to the response by the teachers, it's also not great. Students should never be separated by race. A lot of parents of biracial children chimed in to say they didn't like that their kids were forced to "pick a side," and I get that, but I just can't get that exercised about it. Lil' S2, who is biracial, went to the Asian/Pacific Islander group, because he wanted to be with a few of his friends who are also half-Asian, and I couldn't care less. I also really don't care that the teacher used the unabbreviated n-word. She wasn't calling anybody that; in fact, she was doing the exact opposite. Assuming this was an isolated incident, which I think it was, it would be a shame if anybody got too severely punished over this.
Anyway, the district is now involved, and we will see where it goes. I fear there might be some punitive consequences in the offing. The reason I say this is because I don't think the district wants to set a precedent that it's okay for teachers to use the n-word, even in a non-pejorative manner, because they then must apply this same standard if a non-Black teacher uses it, and I don't know that they want to go down that route. This is a situation in which the social and legal rules are different. The social rule is that it's okay for Black people to use the n-word, in certain circumstances, but not okay for non-Black people to use it, under any circumstances (except maybe if you're the evil white guy in a civil rights movie). The legal rule is that people cannot be punished differently for the same offense because of their race. And a school district has to apply the legal rule or open themselves up to lawsuits.
But maybe I'm wrong. I hope I am. Like I said, I don't want to see anybody involved punished too harshly over this. We need a lot more "just don't do that again" in our society right now.
Until next time...
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