Entry 117: Escalator to Heaven

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying the escalator to heaven.

[This is a poem I wrote entitled "Escalator to Heaven"]

I had an out of body experience on my way to the Nationals game yesterday.  I took the bus to the metro, took the metro to the stop for the ballpark, got out of the metro and started to ascend to ground level.  But something seemed off, I wasn't experiencing reality.  It was more like a dream, not even a dream, something else.  I was in D.C. and yet there were no Nationals fans to be found anywhere.  I was ping ponging through an obstacle course of Phillies fans.  Everything became a blur -- I was lost in a red sea of floating script Ps.

I managed to find the correct direction to go.  I just followed the obnoxious chants of "Let's Go Phillies... [clap, clap, ..., clap, clap, clap]".  I still couldn't quite comprehend what was going on.  I wasn't even moving anymore, I was just watching myself move, watching myself trying to fight though the throngs of faceless, soulless Chase Utley-worshiping minions.  I saw myself step on the last escalator to ascend to ground level.  I was convinced that the exit -- the exit to the metro stop and to this surreality -- was at the top of this escalator, when I arrived I would be myself again.

Instead, I looked up and saw only whiteness.

That's when I realized this was a glimpse of existence after death.  I had somehow entered a portal that was giving me a look at the afterlife.  It's apparently full of obnoxious frat boys in flip-flops and sideways Phillies caps, and obese couples in matching cheese steak stained Ryan Howard jerseys.

Dear God, I don't want to die.

Anyway, that's my take on my transit to the Nationals game yesterday.  I bought a 9-game ticket package with some friends of mine, and the first one was yesterday against the Phillies.  As you might have gathered, there were more Phillies fans than Nats fans in attendance.  That's actually pretty typical at Nationals games, as D.C. is a very transient city and a relatively small percentage of the people who live here are from here.  Anytime a team with a strong fan base comes to town, especially one from a city within driving distance, the stadium becomes awash with away-team fans.

I'm not a Nationals fan, but I find the infiltration of the stadium annoying, so I bought a Nationals hat and played the part of one.  The beauty of this is that the Nationals, previously the whipping boy of the NL East, are actually good this season, maybe better than the perennial division-winning Phillies.   In the game, the Phillies took a one run lead, and then the Nats rattled off seven runs and won easily.  It was a pretty satisfying win.  Leaving the stadium and watching all the dejected Phillies fans was fun, although most of them had left early, especially the obnoxious ones.  That's part of being an asshole fan, you annoy and taunt when your team is winning or the game is close, and you split as soon as things turn the other way.

In other non-sporting news, S signed us up for birthing classes.  I can't really say I'm looking forward to them, but I'll go because S wants to and I want to support her.  The class looks to be a bit on the hippy-dippy side (in our confirmation email, the woman who runs the class attached a "birthing poem" entitled "Ode to My Doula"), but I'm keeping an open mind.  In reading the blurb on their website it's obvious that they are really into "natural births", at home with a doula, no drugs, etc., which is fine.  I was born at home after all.

This is my take on it.  I know lots of people who've had natural births and everything went great, the kid and mother were fine.  I know lots of people who gave birth at the hospital with an epidural and everything went great, kid and mother were fine.  So, it doesn't really seem to matter other than personal preference. 

That's basically my general take on everything.  What's going to happen to if I do A, and what's going to happen if I do B.  If the answer is the same, then there's no reason to get fired up about it one way or the other.

Alright, that's all for this entry.  Until next time...