Entry 500: I Don't Have Anything Special Planned

I just noticed, as I was titling this entry, that this is my 500th post.  That's quite a few.  My first post was in summer 2010, so I've almost been going for 10 years, which you can actually deduce pretty easily: I post once a week, so 50 weeks (a bit less than one year) times 10 years, gets you to 500 post.  I don't have anything special planned, so I'll just carry on as usual.

I don't spend much time on social media.  I've basically given up on Twitter entirely, and when I check Facebook, which I typically do a few times a day, it's usually only a minute or two to see if I have any messages or alerts.  There are some people/groups with which Facebook is my main form of correspondence, so I use it for that.  I'll also browse through feed from time to time, but I've been making a concerted effort to limit how much I do that.

There are two main reasons I mostly stay off social media: 1) It's a time suck; 2) it gives me anxiety.  I hate getting caught up in comment wars, and they can be hard to avoid if you post a lot.  Sometimes you'll just be involved in what you think is a normal back-and-forth, and then all of the sudden you're pissed off, tapping out a 3,000-word screed on your phone to somebody you haven't seen since middle school.  Who needs that in their life?

Even when exchanges are pleasant they can make me anxious.  I play Words With Friends quite a bit, and I started doing their Lighting Round game, where you get matched up with a few other random people and you each take turns playing on different boards until somebody gets 750 points.  A game only takesr a minute or two, and afterward it posts the scores of everybody on each team.  I'm usually the top score and sometimes by a lot.  (My crowning achievement is scoring 337 points, when the other team only scored 307 combined.)  Twice now after I finished a Lightning Round game, I got challenged one-on-one by somebody on my team.  Previously, I had only played one-on-one with people I know IRL, but I figured -- why not? -- and accepted.

Well, I'll tell you why not: Because then you have to interact online with somebody you don't know for days.  It's one thing if you hop on, play a few strangers, and hop off.  It's another to have your Word with Friends feed be your dad, your good friend, and Deanna, some rando with funky sunglasses in their profile pic.  It feels weird.  Maybe it's just me, maybe it's a generational thing, I dunno.

The first person who challenged me thankfully didn't send me any messages.  But the second person -- a woman between the ages of 20 and 40, judging by the profile pick -- just started chatting away right off the bat.  You can mute people on Words with Friends, but that felt rude, so I started responding, and the conversation went something like this.

Her: Good morning!!!!
Me: Hi
Her: Thanks for playing Word with me!
Me: Sure thing
Her: Where you playing from?
Me: DC area
Her: Cool!  I'm in sunny California.

At this point, I didn't really want to continue a conversation at this pace, so I set down my phone for a while.  Plus, in Words with Friends it's not uncommon to go a day or two without making a move or messaging your opponent.  But then I started feeling anxious knowing I had this random person waiting for me to respond.  It was really bothering me for some reason, and I couldn't work, so I got back on the Word with Friends app.  She had sent another message.

Her: Are you on Hangout?
Me: I don't know what that is
Her: It's an app where you can chat more easily. Can you download it?
Me: Nah... I'm not really into stuff like that
Her: It's just an app like Word
Me: No thanks.
Her: Okay... I just really want to get to know you better.
Me (to the Word with Friends app): [Block User]
WWF: [Blocking this user will end and delete this game.  It will also make it so that this user will not be able to see you or contact you on Word with Friends anymore.  Do you wish to continue?]
Me: [Yes]

Problem solved!  The way I saw it there were two possibilities: a) This woman has some serious stalker potential (or isn't a woman at all), in which case, I want no part of it; b) this woman is just super friendly and uses apps like Words with Friends to meet people, because that's how people meet now, in which case, I also want no part of it.

One weird thing: Although I felt rude muting her, I didn't feel rude blocking her altogether.  Out of sight, out of mind, I guess.

Alright, I think that's all for today.  I want to watch an episode of Better Call Saul before bed.  It's been a little slow at times this season, but it's still really good.  I'm continually amazed with how good Rhea Seehorn is it.  Bob Odenkirk too, but everybody already knows about him.

Until next time...

Entry 499: "Daddy, In This Movie Indiana Looks Kinda... Old"

It's just me and the boys again tonight -- S skipped town for a business trip -- so that means pizza and a movie.  I'm still looking for a decent pizza joint that delivers to my neighborhood.  The options I've been able to find so far are Papa John's, Domino's, and Pizza Boli's.  I won't order Papa John's because the owner is a right-wing tool, and Domino's kinda sucks, so that leaves Pizza Boli's as the choice by default.  But the pizza is actually not much better than Domino's, and it's way overpriced.  I got a Caesar salad and a large one-topping pizza, and it was $33 after tip. And Pizza Boli's is not like an artisanal wood-fired pizzeria -- far from it.  It's the type of place you'd have on speed dial in college for drunken 2:00 am feasts.  I think they charge $5 for delivery, which is exorbitant.  It makes me not want to tip, but then I still tip, because I don't know who gets that $5, and I want to make sure the delivery person driver gets something.

The bottom line: I gotta find a better pizza option.  I had two in my old neighborhood, but one of them burned down (seriously, sadly), and the other one won't deliver to my new neighborhood.  There's a Ledo Pizza (solid East Coast chain) which is fairly close, but they don't do delivery at all, and that's the only convenience for me doing takeout when I'm alone with the boys.  I'd rather make something at home than put them in the car, take them out, wait in line with them, etc.

They are just not easy to wrangle in public these days.  The other night I played trivia, and this guy on my team brought his five-year-old daughter to the pub, and she just sat there and played with her sticker book the entire time.  I was, like, "Are you serious?  My kids would have been climbing on the table, literally, within the first five minutes."

"Yeah," he replied, "that's the advantage of having a girl."

Is that stereotyping?  Probably.  Is it accurate?  Probably.

It's just tough to deny that, on the whole, little girls are less rambunctious than little boys.  Whether it's the product of very early socialization or something biological it just seems to be true.  Whatever -- I don't have a problem with there being broad behavioral differences between little boys and little girls.  What I do have a problem with is when people discriminate based on these differences.  I'm all about letting people be who they are, no matter how they are.  If you're not hurting others, you're okay by me.  That's why my favorite person in sports right now is Dwyane Wade.  Watching him talk about his transgender daughter on Ellen, legit chokes me up.  At some point after becoming a dad, I also became a total sap when it comes to parents sticking up for their children.

Anyway, that was not where I was expecting this post to go.  My intent was to talk about the movie we watched: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  I had been resisting it, because I heard from multiple people it was awful, but the boys wanted to watch it, so, fine, I was kinda curious about it anyway.  And you know what?  I kinda like it.  I enjoyed it more than Joker, put it that way.  It was so ridiculous that it went all the way back around the ridiculous dial, and I actually appreciated it.  I mean, surviving a nuclear bomb strike by locking yourself in a refrigerator, swinging through the jungle with a pack of monkeys, getting carried down a hole by a swarm of ants -- that's some absurdist action fun, right there.  I also really liked the bit with the hat at the very end -- classic Indiana.

[Apparently they are making a fifth one]

In other news, it looks like Bernie won the Nevada Caucus as expected.  Is that good?  I don't know.  Nobody knows.  Nobody knows anything.

Until next time...

Entry 498: Tears of a Clown

Watched Joker last night.  It wasn't god-awful, but overall I give it a thumbs-down.  I read a critic describe it as "derivative," and I think that's right (even though calling something "derivative" has itself become a bit derivative).  I liked the first half of it -- Taxi Driver with a clown -- but it was a setup that had no real payoff.  The last half was really violent, but it felt sorta farcical to me.  Actually, it felt very comic book-y, which makes a lot of sense given that the story is based on a comic book character.  But, I can't think of a single comic book movie I've ever really liked (other than the Christopher Reeve Superman films, which I liked primarily because I was, like, eight when I saw them).  So, Joker just didn't do it for it me.  It had some good scenes, but on the whole: meh.  If I wanted to be really condescending about it -- which, I guess I do, since I'm writing this -- I would say it's a basic person's idea of a sophisticated film.

I also don't think Joaquin Phoenix was that amazing in it.  He was good, don't get me wrong, but I feel like dozens of actors could have done just as well.  I wasn't blown away.  I liked him better in Her and even in Two Lovers, just to name two of his movies that come to mind at the moment.  I never thought while watching him, Now this is an Oscar-winning performance.  I thought Leonard DiCaprio was much more deserving for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.  And although I only saw half of Marriage Story, Adam Driver also would have been a better choice, in my opinion.  I think part of it is the role.  Acting crazy just doesn't impress me much; it seems like you can do almost anything, and it doesn't even have to make sense, because your character is crazy.

[One redeeming feature of Joker: Zazie Beetz.]

Honestly, I didn't even really want to watch Joker.  I badly wanted to see Parasite, but S said she didn't feel like reading subtitles.  It was technically her turn to choose,* and it was Valentine's Day, and I didn't want to start an argument, so instead of fighting for Parasite, I compromised on Joker.  I mean, even though I didn't love it, it's probably better than Frozen 2.  S thought it was okay, if you were wondering, but she said it was 15 minutes too long, which it was.  But, to be fair, pretty much everything is 15 minutes too long.

*We take turns, but if the person who picked the last movie picked one that we both really liked then they usually get to go again.  I was on a roll with Booksmart and The Big Sick, but then I took a chance on Gary Gulman's The Great Depresh (incidentally, Gulman has a cameo in Joker), and S fell asleep during it.  I thought it was excellent though, and S sometimes falls asleep during movies she likes, so I feel it was still a good pick.

In other news, the Democratic primary is now officially underway, and it's going... I dunno.  I just have no idea about what to make of any of this anymore.  As best I can tell nobody knows anything.  Bernie now seems to be the favorite, whereas six months ago I thought he was totally out of it, and Biden is foundering after entering the race as the favorite, just, like, three weeks ago.

As I've said before, I'm fine with any of them.  I, like every other sane person, want the candidate most likely to defeat Trump, but I don't know who that is, and I don't believe anybody who says they do.  You can talk to three different people -- smart, informed people -- and get three different answers, and usually a person's pick is based on their own personal preferences.  Ask a moderate and they will tell you we need a moderate to appeal to suburban women and "future former Republicans"; ask a progressive and they will tell you we need a progressive to turn out "the base"; ask a billionaire and they will tell you we need to vote for them personally.  The thing is, I see everybody's point.  I get all the arguments up and down the political spectrum; I just don't know which one to believe.

On a related note, I watched Pee-Wee's Big Adventure with the kids last weekend (still holds up!).  And there's that character Francis, played by that chubby guy from Teen Wolf (his name is literally Chubby in the movie), who was big for a hot minute in the late '80s and early '90s.  When I saw him, he reminded me of somebody, but I couldn't quite put my finger on whom.  Then it dawned on me: Donald Trump.  He's Donald Trump -- a childish, out-of-shape, amoral thief, who only knows a life of privilege because his father was super rich.  That's right, we are living in a country with Francis as president.  I mean, I don't think Trump has ever tweeted "I know you are, but what am I?" but it wouldn't surprise me if he has.  (Although, he would probably screw up the punctuation.)  President Francis.  It would be funny except for the fact our democracy is continually being undermined, our already insufficient environmental protections are being further eroded, and we are regressing in our attitudes and treatment of black and brown people, especially black and brown immigrants.  Other than those things, it would be funny.



On that note, until next time...

Entry 497: I Don't Want To Go To Sleep... Ever

Lil' S2 got an earache last night.  He seems to be susceptible to them, and it's terrible, because he wakes up and starts howling -- "MY EAR HURTS! OW! OW! MY EAR HURTS!" -- and he basically doesn't stop the entire night.  Seriously, he just doesn't shut up.  He will drift off for a half-hour, 45 minutes if we're lucky, but then he wakes back up and starts moaning again.  I know he's in pain, but I also know there's really nothing anybody can do about it.  I wish you could teach suffering in silence to a four-year-old.

S usually gets the brunt of it, because those maternal instincts take over, and she feels a sense of obligation to comfort her sick child and doesn't want to leave him.  I suggested we take shifts sleeping in the basement, so that we each get in a few solid hours, at least, but she said that she'd be too anxious to sleep without him anyway.  It worked out for me, in the sense that I got to sleep in the quiet basement the whole night (or what was left of it, anyway), but it didn't work out for me, in the sense that S was exhausted all day today, and she crashed out at 6:30 pm (literally), and so I had to do all the parenting for the night, and the morning for that matter, and in between.  Lil' S2 stayed home, and I had to tend to him.

He actually could have gone to school.  He seemed completely okay.  Every time I asked if his ear still hurt, he said yes, but I could tell that he was just saying that because he wanted to stay home.  It was fine, though.  If a kid is up half the night screaming about his ear, he can stay home the next day.  I don't have a problem with that.  It wasn't too bad either.  I didn't want to take another sick day, so I worked from home while watching him.  He mostly left me alone and played by himself, and I called on my favorite babysitting crew, the Mighty Morhpin Power Rangers, whenever I needed them.  I was able to get quite a bit of work done, actually.  It helped that he zonked out right in time for my 3:00 meeting.  I had to wake him up at 4:30, just so I would be able to get him to bed tonight.

I'm quite tired myself.  It was already around 2:00 am when I was finally able to go downstairs, and I don't like the basement guest room bed.  I don't really like any bed but my own.  I'm such a delicate flower, when it comes to sleeping.  Even in the most ideal circumstances it can be hard for me fall asleep.  Throw off my routine a little bit, and that's me fucked.

[My favorite part of this clip is the instrumental of The Beatles "Golden Slumbers" playing in the background.]

I was so resentful last night, too -- not of Lil' S2 (he's only four, after all) -- but of Mother Nature.  Why do we even need to sleep?  Sleep is an underrated terrible part of life.  In fact, I would say sleep is the worst physical part of being a human.  Some might argue pain is worse, but physical pain serves an obvious purpose in our survival.  Sleep, on the other hand, what is it good for?

I understand our bodies need periods of dormancy, so they can recover from the rigors of active life.  But, why can't we get that from rest?  Like, we get tired, and we lay down, and we wait, and then we get back up when we aren't tired anymore.  You just sub out of the game of life for a little while until you are ready to go back in.

Think about how much better that would be.  You could plan your recovery time down to a tee, and you would never have to worry about missing some of it because you couldn't get your body to go into a weird trance-like state right away.  Also, imagine the efficiency gains.  You have 15 minutes before a work call?  Just lay down, and that's 15 less minutes you will have to do it at night.

Why can't it be like that?  It literally makes me mad that it isn't, because it seems totally possible.  I'm not requesting perpetual motion.  I'm not asking for something that violates the laws the of the physical universe.  I want our bodies to work exactly as they do now, except they don't need to actually sleep.  If you lay down with your eyes closed that's good enough.

Alright, that's all for now. I, unfortunately, need to get some sleep.

Until next time...

Entry 496: Crocodile DG and Temple of Doom

Just finished watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom with my boys.  It's not really age appropriate -- they're only four and seven -- but whatever.  I'm that dad, I guess, who doesn't care what his kids watch.  The thing is, they aren't scared by it.  We watched Raiders of the Lost Ark, and they said they loved it and showed no signs of it affecting them negatively whatsoever.  Since then they've been begging me to show them the second one.  S went out tonight, so I figured, why not?

The movie has a lot of potentially scary stuff in it -- evil rituals, monkey-brain eating, the barehanded pulling out of a human heart. But, again, it didn't even seem to phase them.  Some of the action looks kinda phony by today's standards, which might have something to do with it.  I remember my mom telling how terrified she was as a child of the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz, but they always just looked kinda silly to me.  The Wheelers from Return to Oz, now that's a different story... those these things creeped the shit out of me the first time I saw them, when I was like eight.

Temple of Doom isn't a very good movie, but it has it's moments.  I like how they free all the kids from the mine, and the movie ends with Indy and Willy getting mobbed by them in the village.  Also, pretty sweet move by Indy to wrap his whip around Willy as she's walking away and pull her into him.  Slightly problematic (Willy's entire character is ridiculously outdated), but c'mon... Is there a woman -- nay, a person -- alive who would wouldn't be completely smitten if a young Harrison Ford did that to them?

Actually, Harrison Ford wasn't all that young when that movie was filmed.  He was about my age now, 42.  I just realized looking on Wikipedia that he's the same age as Joe Biden.  And Harrison Ford still seems cool to me.  I mean, he dates a younger TV star and wears an earring.  So, maybe Biden isn't too old to save American democracy after all.  That is, if it's Biden who even wins the nomination.  I still think he's the favorite, but Bernie is coming on a lot stronger than I thought he would.  I thought his campaign was dead six months.  But, say what you will about the tenets of democratic socialism, the dude's a fighter, and he's got an enthusiastic foundation of supporters.  It wouldn't surprise me if he's the next president.  I wouldn't take an even money bet on it, but it wouldn't surprise me.

With the first primary caucuses/elections coming up this next week, I've been trying to sort it all out in my head, but I haven't gotten anywhere.  I just don't care that much who the candidate is.  Like all sane people, I want somebody, anybody, who can beat Trump, but I don't have a great sense about who that is.  I think it's probably Biden, but I don't think that enough to be a hard-core Biden supporter.  My feeling is: Y'all sort this one out yourselves, and I'll go hard for whomever you pick.  If it's an old establishment white dude like Joe Biden or Michael Bloomberg, cool; if you go with youth, then I'll be Mayor Pete's number one fan; if you think we need a moderate woman to appeal to all those suburban women in swing districts I keep hearing so much about, Klobuchar is just alright with me; if you wanna get nuts with Sanders or Warren -- fuck it, let's get nuts.  You guys decide; I'm in no matter who.

I took a Washington Post survey to figure out which candidate most agrees with me on the major issues, and somewhat surprisingly, given my ambivalence, there was one with whom I'm aligned much more so than all the others: Andrew Yang.  That's right, apparently I'm a closet member of the Yang Gang.  It makes some sense.  We're the same age, same temperament, and we're both analytical thinkers, who want pragmatic, technocratic solutions, and don't really care where they fall on the political spectrum.  "Not Left, Not Right, Forward," as is his motto.

But, I'm not going to donate or stump for Mr. Yang or anything like that.  He's not going to win the primary, and my heart isn't in it enough to strongly support somebody who's definitely not going to win -- maybe in a future election.  Also, I'm not totally in love with UBI, his signature proposal.  I'm fine with it.  If people want it, I'll gladly accept it, even if it means raising my taxes.  But, I'm not as into it as he is.  And that actually gets at one of the flaws of the survey.  All the questions are weighted the same in the survey, but we don't weight them the same when we are actually evaluating candidates.  If you agree with Bernie on almost every issue, but you're adamantly opposed to single payer health insurance, then you don't really agree with Bernie at all.  See what I mean?

Okay, enough talk about politics.  I'll end on something else, just as a palate cleanser.  Let's see... oh, I took the test to try out for Jeorpardy!  It's a long shot, obviously.  I have to have passed the test (whatever that means), and then I have to pass another in-person test/tryout.  But, who knows?  I'm acquaintances with several former Jeopardy! champions through crossword puzzling, and  if they can do it, why can't I?  I mean, other than the fact that they're all much better at trivia than me.  It was cute, though; I told S that I took the test (she's been suggesting I take it for years), and Lil' S1 one overheard me, and he said, "Don't worry, Dad, you'll get on.  We believe in you."  So sweet.

Until next time...