Feeling a bit better now. I haven't been that sick in a long time. I took a sick day Monday, the first sick day I've taken at my current job, and the first sick day I've taken at any job since 2006. I don't take sick days very often.
Lil S' is doing better now too, and S is soldiering on as always, so, you know, as my high school wrestling coach used to say, "tough times don't last, tough people do". Of course, he also used to like to tell us we "couldn't whip shit with an eggbeater", so it was a mixed bag with Coach R.
Lil S' had his six month checkup yesterday. It all went fine, but he's really on the light side. His length is above-average, but his weight is below the third percentile, down from his previous checkup when it was around the fifteenth. It's nothing to be particularly concerned about, but try explaining that to my wife. She's not happy about it. So, we're trying to get him to eat more, but there's not a whole lot more we can do. He's on solids now, so we're offering him more mush and carrots (which he seems to be enjoying), and we're putting more milk in his bottles, and S is still nursing him regularly, but it's the whole "you can lead a horse to water..." thing. If he doesn't eat it; he doesn't eat it. We're raising a kid here, not farming pate. It's something to keep an eye on, I suppose, but I'm not sweating it; he is eating something, it's not like he's malnourished, and he's active, healthy (sniffles aside), and alert. He's just light. Some kids are.
Anyway, S being fearful about everything with our kid made me think about irrational fears, and then I started thinking about something beyond irrational fear -- something I call fantastical fear. A fantastical fear is just what it sounds like -- a combination of fear and fantasy. You aren't really worried about it happening, the same way you aren't really hoping a fantasy will happen, but it still compels you in some way. I have a bunch of fantastical fears. Here are five fantastical fears of bodily harm.
1. Being kick by a horse. I was bucked off a horse as a kid, suffering some slight bumps and bruises, but that's not the impetus of this fear. It's a video I saw once in college of a guy getting kicked while he was branding a horse. He just gets annihilated. I mean, you take your chances when you press searing metal into the flesh of a 1,000-lb. beast, but still... Hey, I bet I can find that clip on youtube. Yep.
2. Getting superglue in my eye. This one came to me in college as well. I bought some superglue to glue my fake teeth back onto my retainer (yes, you read that right), and I noticed the bottle looked a lot like a Visine bottle.
3. Swallowing glass. This one dates back to childhood: December 22, 1985, to be exact. My parents went out for a few hours, and I was by myself watching the Holiday Bowl (presumably there was a babysitter on the premise as well, perhaps my sister, I don't remember). Future Seahawk Bobby Joe Edmonds scored a late touchdown to help the Arkansas Razorbacks defeat the Arizona State Sun Devils 18-17. Excitedly I bit down on the champagne flute I was drinking sparkling cider from and cut my lip. Worried that I'd get in trouble for breaking something, I put the shards of glass in the flute and put the flute back in the cupboard. The perfect crime. Except, when my parents came home, I cracked immediately and told them what I had done. My dad explained to me that the broken flute wasn't a big deal, but that I was wrong to put it back in the cupboard because somebody could have used it and unknowingly swallowed the broken glass.
4. Getting my Adam's apple snipped with scissors. Not stabbed, not sliced, snipped with scissors -- the standard blue plastic handle, office kind. I have no idea where this one came from.
5. Drinking Drano. Heathers? Yeah, pretty sure this is from Heathers. What a strange movie. I can't remember if it's actually good or not, but I give it props for being something different.
Until next time...
Lil S' is doing better now too, and S is soldiering on as always, so, you know, as my high school wrestling coach used to say, "tough times don't last, tough people do". Of course, he also used to like to tell us we "couldn't whip shit with an eggbeater", so it was a mixed bag with Coach R.
Lil S' had his six month checkup yesterday. It all went fine, but he's really on the light side. His length is above-average, but his weight is below the third percentile, down from his previous checkup when it was around the fifteenth. It's nothing to be particularly concerned about, but try explaining that to my wife. She's not happy about it. So, we're trying to get him to eat more, but there's not a whole lot more we can do. He's on solids now, so we're offering him more mush and carrots (which he seems to be enjoying), and we're putting more milk in his bottles, and S is still nursing him regularly, but it's the whole "you can lead a horse to water..." thing. If he doesn't eat it; he doesn't eat it. We're raising a kid here, not farming pate. It's something to keep an eye on, I suppose, but I'm not sweating it; he is eating something, it's not like he's malnourished, and he's active, healthy (sniffles aside), and alert. He's just light. Some kids are.
Anyway, S being fearful about everything with our kid made me think about irrational fears, and then I started thinking about something beyond irrational fear -- something I call fantastical fear. A fantastical fear is just what it sounds like -- a combination of fear and fantasy. You aren't really worried about it happening, the same way you aren't really hoping a fantasy will happen, but it still compels you in some way. I have a bunch of fantastical fears. Here are five fantastical fears of bodily harm.
1. Being kick by a horse. I was bucked off a horse as a kid, suffering some slight bumps and bruises, but that's not the impetus of this fear. It's a video I saw once in college of a guy getting kicked while he was branding a horse. He just gets annihilated. I mean, you take your chances when you press searing metal into the flesh of a 1,000-lb. beast, but still... Hey, I bet I can find that clip on youtube. Yep.
2. Getting superglue in my eye. This one came to me in college as well. I bought some superglue to glue my fake teeth back onto my retainer (yes, you read that right), and I noticed the bottle looked a lot like a Visine bottle.
3. Swallowing glass. This one dates back to childhood: December 22, 1985, to be exact. My parents went out for a few hours, and I was by myself watching the Holiday Bowl (presumably there was a babysitter on the premise as well, perhaps my sister, I don't remember). Future Seahawk Bobby Joe Edmonds scored a late touchdown to help the Arkansas Razorbacks defeat the Arizona State Sun Devils 18-17. Excitedly I bit down on the champagne flute I was drinking sparkling cider from and cut my lip. Worried that I'd get in trouble for breaking something, I put the shards of glass in the flute and put the flute back in the cupboard. The perfect crime. Except, when my parents came home, I cracked immediately and told them what I had done. My dad explained to me that the broken flute wasn't a big deal, but that I was wrong to put it back in the cupboard because somebody could have used it and unknowingly swallowed the broken glass.
[Not as bad as being kicked by a horse, but still pretty brutal.]
4. Getting my Adam's apple snipped with scissors. Not stabbed, not sliced, snipped with scissors -- the standard blue plastic handle, office kind. I have no idea where this one came from.
5. Drinking Drano. Heathers? Yeah, pretty sure this is from Heathers. What a strange movie. I can't remember if it's actually good or not, but I give it props for being something different.
Until next time...
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