Something strange happened upon our return from vacation: Our DirecTV no longer worked. It just wasn't getting a signal anymore. I was unable to fix it (by which I mean unplugging it and plugging it back in didn't work), so I had a technician come out to diagnosis the situation. He went to the satellite, pointed a receptor to the sky, and then we had the following conversation.
Him: It's that tree. It's blocking the signal.
Me: Really? That tree has been here since we started our service two years ago.
Him: Maybe it grew.
Me: Nothing noticeable ... I mean, it could have filled out, I suppose.
Him: Trees grow more leaves in the spring.
Me: [?] ... Uh ... Yeah ... I know ... But we had reception last spring, and we've had it up until now.
Him: I dunno, man. It's the tree.
Me: Okay, can we point the satellite a different way?
Him: No.
Me: Okay, so what can we do?
Him: You can cut down down the tree.
Me: I don't want to cut down the tree. Is there anything else?
Him: No.
Me: So ... should I cancel my service?
Him: Yes.
And that was that. Obviously he doesn't work on commission. I'm not 100% sure the problem really was the tree, and the rep I talked to when I canceled really pushed for a second opinion and a free "satellite dish relocation test" (obviously he does work on commission), but honestly I feel like DirecTV is a ripoff and was looking for motivation to cancel anyway.
Cable TV in general is a very consumer-unfriendly model in that you have to buy hundreds of channels you don't want for the five you do want. And with DirecTV the only thing I wanted was to watch the Seahawks, and because the NFL relishes bleeding their fans for every last nickel, they only offer their NFL Sunday Ticket through DirecTV, and of course DirecTV only offers Sunday Ticket if you buy an entire package. So basically I was paying $110 a month to watch 16 games -- and even that isn't quite right because some of the games are nationally televised and aren't available on Sunday Ticket. If you do the math, I was basically paying $130 a game to watch the Seahawks. Like I said -- rip off. I mean, for that price I could go to all the games!*
So no more cable, and that's not a bad thing. We will manage somehow, someway. (In fact, the most annoying thing is that we now have a giant DirecTV satellite dish in our backyard that we aren't using. They don't collect them. Once you get one, it's yours for good. Gee, thanks. A nice little f-you by DirecTV on your way out the door.) I'm looking into getting a decent digital antenna; S has all her shows on Hulu; and we have Netflix and iTunes for most everything else. Plus if we really want to watch something not available through these channels we'll just get creative. For instance, I've been streaming the World Cup games through Univision and through a friend's cable account (thanks M!). Then I've already arranged with a friend who has DirecTV to pay for his upgrade to Sunday Ticket in exchange for his online log-in info for this upcoming football season. This will still cost me about $20 a game to watch the Seahawks, but so be it. That's not unreasonable for access to the Super Bowl champs (hell, yeah!).
See, I'm not one of those people who believes everything should be free just because we have the Internet now. I think you should pay for what you use.** So if there is a legit way to get something, I will. The exception is when I feel like I'm being ripped off, or a provider is exploiting the market unfairly or something like that. In those cases, I look for "creative" ways to bypass the unfair system and still get what I want. This does occasionally put me into murky moral grounds -- like is it okay to watch an illegal stream of Game of Thrones because it's the only thing I want to see on HBO (thankfully, this one resolved itself, when that show become utterly unwatchable for me) -- but generally I don't have any compunction about it. In fact, I think everybody should do it because then companies will have to change their models in ways that are more friendly to the consumer (like a la carte service). This might already be happening. My perception is that more and more people are getting rid of cable, so perhaps cable TV will be like land lines in 20 years. Or perhaps not -- nobody really knows anything when it comes to the landscape of technological commercialism in the future.
Speaking of technology and not knowing anything, I had one of those "forgot my password" moments the other day, where I had to do the retreaded dance of trying to guess my user ID and password before being "locked out". That never goes well. I have about five standard user IDs and about five standard passwords, so with only three guesses, chances are I'm not hitting the combination (12% if you're wondering).
To make matters worse, I couldn't answer my security question, which isn't surprising because they rarely give you the option of a good security question. This time it was "What is your favorite sports team?", which perfectly illustrates what I'm talking about. The answer, I assumed, was "Seahawks" or "Mariners", but neither of them worked -- because maybe it's "Seattle Seahawks" or "Seattle Mariners" or "The Seattle Seahawks" or "The Seattle Mariners". Who knows? It's so frustrating. They need to come with security questions that for the vast majority of people could only have ONE possible answer. What were the last four digits of your phone number as a kid? What's your mom's maiden name? At what age did you first have sexual intercourse (note: blowjobs don't count)? Stuff like that. Sometimes you get questions like this, but most the time it's ambiguous crap: Who was your most influential teacher? What was your favorite pet as a kid? What word or phrase do you most associate with the art of Gustav Klimt?
And, as my "favorite team" example above illustrates, even when you get something that has a pretty straightforward answer, it's still a bad question if there are different ways to express the answer. For instance, one time, when trying to log into my bank, I got a security question, "What was the name of the first school you attended?" And I put "Narrows View" -- where I went to kindergarten -- but it was wrong. Then I tried my preschool which was also wrong, so then I tried where I went to first grade -- again wrong. Then I got locked out. I had to physically go into a branch and show my ID before they would let me reset my password, and in doing so, I saw the original answer to my security question: "Narrows View Elementary". Doh!
Now, of course, I could write this all down, but if I had the wherewithal to write it all down, I would've just written down my user ID and password in the first place, so I wouldn't need the security questions. Security questions are supposed to be backup for precisely the situation when you don't write things down. Also, isn't it weird that we now have so many security measures that we have to write down all our secret information somewhere? (If you can remember all your user IDs and passwords for all your accounts, you are a better person than me ... and Eric Schmidt of Google who said during an interview that he kept all his secret info on a piece of notebook paper hidden in his house). It's kinda strange and counter-intuitive. And it's a situation where the old-school method of pen and paper is safer than storing everything on your computer because somebody is much more likely to steal (or hack) your computer than they are to steal a piece of paper from your house they don't know exists. Actually, what I do is I keep them on my computer, but I use a code that only I know. I mean, if you can crack "yahoo, usual no.1", you can go ahead and rent a movie on my iTunes account.
Well, I think that'll do 'er. Until next time ...
*Actually I couldn't because I don't live near Seattle. Also the not-so-secret secret about football is that it's actually more enjoyable to watch on TV than to go to the games. But you get my point.
**My preferred model is the This American Life podcast model, where they give you the show for free, but ask for a donation from time to time. I always give money to shows I listen to that do this. I also like the Savage Love model, where you can have a limited product for free, but you have to pay for the "deluxe" version (which I usually do). And if you have a big enough audience, you can also get by just by selling ads or by charging a very reasonable amount -- like Louis CK who put his comedy special online for $5 or Radiohead who charged whatever you wanted to pay for their album In Rainbows.
Him: It's that tree. It's blocking the signal.
Me: Really? That tree has been here since we started our service two years ago.
Him: Maybe it grew.
Me: Nothing noticeable ... I mean, it could have filled out, I suppose.
Him: Trees grow more leaves in the spring.
Me: [?] ... Uh ... Yeah ... I know ... But we had reception last spring, and we've had it up until now.
Him: I dunno, man. It's the tree.
Me: Okay, can we point the satellite a different way?
Him: No.
Me: Okay, so what can we do?
Him: You can cut down down the tree.
Me: I don't want to cut down the tree. Is there anything else?
Him: No.
Me: So ... should I cancel my service?
Him: Yes.
[This is not the tree that is blocking my satellite dish. In fact, it's pretty meager, which is understandable being that it's Old Tjikko, the oldest tree in the world. It sprouted up nearly 10,000 years ago! It was the first tree God created, and He gave it all the markings to make it look like it was already 4,000 years old.]
Cable TV in general is a very consumer-unfriendly model in that you have to buy hundreds of channels you don't want for the five you do want. And with DirecTV the only thing I wanted was to watch the Seahawks, and because the NFL relishes bleeding their fans for every last nickel, they only offer their NFL Sunday Ticket through DirecTV, and of course DirecTV only offers Sunday Ticket if you buy an entire package. So basically I was paying $110 a month to watch 16 games -- and even that isn't quite right because some of the games are nationally televised and aren't available on Sunday Ticket. If you do the math, I was basically paying $130 a game to watch the Seahawks. Like I said -- rip off. I mean, for that price I could go to all the games!*
So no more cable, and that's not a bad thing. We will manage somehow, someway. (In fact, the most annoying thing is that we now have a giant DirecTV satellite dish in our backyard that we aren't using. They don't collect them. Once you get one, it's yours for good. Gee, thanks. A nice little f-you by DirecTV on your way out the door.) I'm looking into getting a decent digital antenna; S has all her shows on Hulu; and we have Netflix and iTunes for most everything else. Plus if we really want to watch something not available through these channels we'll just get creative. For instance, I've been streaming the World Cup games through Univision and through a friend's cable account (thanks M!). Then I've already arranged with a friend who has DirecTV to pay for his upgrade to Sunday Ticket in exchange for his online log-in info for this upcoming football season. This will still cost me about $20 a game to watch the Seahawks, but so be it. That's not unreasonable for access to the Super Bowl champs (hell, yeah!).
See, I'm not one of those people who believes everything should be free just because we have the Internet now. I think you should pay for what you use.** So if there is a legit way to get something, I will. The exception is when I feel like I'm being ripped off, or a provider is exploiting the market unfairly or something like that. In those cases, I look for "creative" ways to bypass the unfair system and still get what I want. This does occasionally put me into murky moral grounds -- like is it okay to watch an illegal stream of Game of Thrones because it's the only thing I want to see on HBO (thankfully, this one resolved itself, when that show become utterly unwatchable for me) -- but generally I don't have any compunction about it. In fact, I think everybody should do it because then companies will have to change their models in ways that are more friendly to the consumer (like a la carte service). This might already be happening. My perception is that more and more people are getting rid of cable, so perhaps cable TV will be like land lines in 20 years. Or perhaps not -- nobody really knows anything when it comes to the landscape of technological commercialism in the future.
Speaking of technology and not knowing anything, I had one of those "forgot my password" moments the other day, where I had to do the retreaded dance of trying to guess my user ID and password before being "locked out". That never goes well. I have about five standard user IDs and about five standard passwords, so with only three guesses, chances are I'm not hitting the combination (12% if you're wondering).
To make matters worse, I couldn't answer my security question, which isn't surprising because they rarely give you the option of a good security question. This time it was "What is your favorite sports team?", which perfectly illustrates what I'm talking about. The answer, I assumed, was "Seahawks" or "Mariners", but neither of them worked -- because maybe it's "Seattle Seahawks" or "Seattle Mariners" or "The Seattle Seahawks" or "The Seattle Mariners". Who knows? It's so frustrating. They need to come with security questions that for the vast majority of people could only have ONE possible answer. What were the last four digits of your phone number as a kid? What's your mom's maiden name? At what age did you first have sexual intercourse (note: blowjobs don't count)? Stuff like that. Sometimes you get questions like this, but most the time it's ambiguous crap: Who was your most influential teacher? What was your favorite pet as a kid? What word or phrase do you most associate with the art of Gustav Klimt?
And, as my "favorite team" example above illustrates, even when you get something that has a pretty straightforward answer, it's still a bad question if there are different ways to express the answer. For instance, one time, when trying to log into my bank, I got a security question, "What was the name of the first school you attended?" And I put "Narrows View" -- where I went to kindergarten -- but it was wrong. Then I tried my preschool which was also wrong, so then I tried where I went to first grade -- again wrong. Then I got locked out. I had to physically go into a branch and show my ID before they would let me reset my password, and in doing so, I saw the original answer to my security question: "Narrows View Elementary". Doh!
Now, of course, I could write this all down, but if I had the wherewithal to write it all down, I would've just written down my user ID and password in the first place, so I wouldn't need the security questions. Security questions are supposed to be backup for precisely the situation when you don't write things down. Also, isn't it weird that we now have so many security measures that we have to write down all our secret information somewhere? (If you can remember all your user IDs and passwords for all your accounts, you are a better person than me ... and Eric Schmidt of Google who said during an interview that he kept all his secret info on a piece of notebook paper hidden in his house). It's kinda strange and counter-intuitive. And it's a situation where the old-school method of pen and paper is safer than storing everything on your computer because somebody is much more likely to steal (or hack) your computer than they are to steal a piece of paper from your house they don't know exists. Actually, what I do is I keep them on my computer, but I use a code that only I know. I mean, if you can crack "yahoo, usual no.1", you can go ahead and rent a movie on my iTunes account.
Well, I think that'll do 'er. Until next time ...
*Actually I couldn't because I don't live near Seattle. Also the not-so-secret secret about football is that it's actually more enjoyable to watch on TV than to go to the games. But you get my point.
**My preferred model is the This American Life podcast model, where they give you the show for free, but ask for a donation from time to time. I always give money to shows I listen to that do this. I also like the Savage Love model, where you can have a limited product for free, but you have to pay for the "deluxe" version (which I usually do). And if you have a big enough audience, you can also get by just by selling ads or by charging a very reasonable amount -- like Louis CK who put his comedy special online for $5 or Radiohead who charged whatever you wanted to pay for their album In Rainbows.
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