S and I started watching that Making a Murderer show on Netflix that everybody is talking about (I can only assume my Facebook feed is an accurate representation of “everybody”). We are only two episodes in, but it is pretty good so far – intriguing. And it brings up an interesting ethical dilemma. No, this dilemma has nothing to do with fabricating evidence or wrongful conviction or anything like that. It’s a lighter meta-quandary: How should one handle spoilers for a nonfiction TV show? With make-believe, it’s simple: You avoid spoilers and make an effort not to spoil it for others. But for nonfiction, do the same rules apply? It seems like they can’t -- at least not in this case -- because it’s an ongoing situation. It’s actual news in a way that, say, Bloodline isn’t. (I just finished that one, by the way – loved it.) You can’t expect people not to spoil real news for you. And also, it feels a bit gauche (for lack of a better word) to avoid spoilers, because it’s like now you’re only interested in it for your entertainment. That’s fine with fiction (obviously, that’s the point of it), but when somebody’s real-life livelihood is at stake, treating it like it’s just a tale for your amusement feels morbidly inconsiderate.
With that said, maybe I’m just one sick dude, because I have been avoiding news stories about the Steven Avery case. I want to watch the full season of the show and then read all about the case. In fact, I even went so far as to harangue S not to read about it either, because I want her to be equally surprised about it with me. She balked at this, and in retrospect, I think she is right. Again, it comes down to fiction versus nonfiction. It's a bit much to ask somebody not to follow current events.
I think it was a knee-jerk reaction on my part because S doesn’t care as much about spoilers as I do. So we might have a conversation like the following.
S: So, I accidentally found out what happens to Character X on Show Y.
Me: What?! How?!
S: I was just looking online, and I accidentally saw an article about it.
Me: “Accidentally”… C’mon.
S: It was!
Me: Funny, that never happens to me.
S: They don’t talk about those shows on the sites you go to. They don’t talk about them on … football dot com.
Me: Well, whatever, now it’s ruined for me.
S: Why? I won’t tell you what happens.
Me: Yeah, but you know. We are supposed to experience it together. That's the whole reason why you watch a show with somebody.
S: I still want to watch it! We will still watch it together!
Me: I know, but it’s not the same.
S: Why? I won’t tell you what happens. It’s the same for you.
D: No it’s not, because Dr. Drew says…
S: [Eye roll]
D: … that intimacy is shared experience. So if we aren’t sharing the same experience then we aren't developing the same level of intimacy.
S: Whatever... Speaking of intimacy, Jake bought Elaine flowers and a card and put it out for her in the morning when she went to back to work on her first day after maternity leave. How come you never do anything like that for me?
D: You don’t even like flowers.
S: True, but that’s not the point…
[And, scene.]
Actually, it’s a minor miracle when S and I can get through any show at all. The first problem is finding something that neither of us have seen before (S watched a bunch of stuff on maternity leave, so she's already seen almost all the good shows) and something that we want to see and that is available on a platform to which we have access (we cut the cord almost two years ago). Then it’s finding an hour long stretch in which we both have free time and are awake. Then it’s making it through an entire episode without one of our kids disrupting us. (Numerous times we’ve had to pause a show in the middle to tend to one of the Lil’ S’s and then by the time we are done with that it’s too late for S to finish the show because she wakes up at like four a.m., so we finish it another time. It’s not a very satisfying way to watch TV.)
[If you are looking for a show to watch, I recommend "Bloodline." It's about this high school football coach whose sister is a smart kid trying to fit in with the cool crowd, and their mom is the prom queen who gets blood dumped on her... or maybe I'm confusing it with three other things.]
With that said, maybe I’m just one sick dude, because I have been avoiding news stories about the Steven Avery case. I want to watch the full season of the show and then read all about the case. In fact, I even went so far as to harangue S not to read about it either, because I want her to be equally surprised about it with me. She balked at this, and in retrospect, I think she is right. Again, it comes down to fiction versus nonfiction. It's a bit much to ask somebody not to follow current events.
I think it was a knee-jerk reaction on my part because S doesn’t care as much about spoilers as I do. So we might have a conversation like the following.
S: So, I accidentally found out what happens to Character X on Show Y.
Me: What?! How?!
S: I was just looking online, and I accidentally saw an article about it.
Me: “Accidentally”… C’mon.
S: It was!
Me: Funny, that never happens to me.
S: They don’t talk about those shows on the sites you go to. They don’t talk about them on … football dot com.
Me: Well, whatever, now it’s ruined for me.
S: Why? I won’t tell you what happens.
Me: Yeah, but you know. We are supposed to experience it together. That's the whole reason why you watch a show with somebody.
S: I still want to watch it! We will still watch it together!
Me: I know, but it’s not the same.
S: Why? I won’t tell you what happens. It’s the same for you.
D: No it’s not, because Dr. Drew says…
S: [Eye roll]
D: … that intimacy is shared experience. So if we aren’t sharing the same experience then we aren't developing the same level of intimacy.
S: Whatever... Speaking of intimacy, Jake bought Elaine flowers and a card and put it out for her in the morning when she went to back to work on her first day after maternity leave. How come you never do anything like that for me?
D: You don’t even like flowers.
S: True, but that’s not the point…
[And, scene.]
[Spoiler Alert!]
Also, our own little idiosyncrasies can make things challenging as well. For example, I like to turn the lights way down so that the room is almost dark; S likes the lights on full blast. S often wants to do other things while she watches TV like look at her phone or laptop; I only want to watch a show if we can both be focused exclusively on it. S likes to eat a snack while we watch; I get annoyed sitting next to somebody who is eating. I mean, it's fine when you are at a movie theater and you have some space between you and the sound is cranked up so high that you wonder if it's going to damage your hearing permanently -- in that case get a bucket of popcorn and some Sour Patch Kids and knock yourself out -- but when you are on a couch cuddling, watching something on an iPad with the sound low (so as not to disturbed your sleeping children), then it's very irritating to hear *munch, munch, munch* in your ear.
And it's one of those things where I don't want to be a dick about it. S enjoys eating a snack while she watches TV, it's a relaxing ritual for her. I don't want to ruin that. But at the same time, I can't enjoy myself if I'm struggling to hear a TV show over smacking lips. It's like trying to sleep with a dripping faucet. It drives me crazy. So we managed to come to something of a compromise: She can eat, but nothing crunchy. It works okay. Neither person is completely satisfied, but that's the definition of compromise, right? And what is marriage if not a serious of compromises? I mean, if Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat can work it out, we can too.
[Checking Wikipedia: Paula Abdul is twice divorced and never actually dated MC Skat Kat at all... crap]
Anyway, I should wrap this entry up soon. Everybody is napping, and I have to wake them up soon. We've been trying to find the right napping schedule for Lil' S1. He started going down for like three hours in the middle of the day, but then he wouldn't go to sleep at night. So we cut out the nap altogether, but then he would become insufferably cranky in the afternoon. Now we are going for an hour or an hour and a half max. It's been about that long.
Until next time...
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