Came down with something awful Sunday evening -- stomach flu. It wiped me out for a day, but I'm feeling much better now. I though perhaps it was food poisoning, but it got S too, so it almost certainly wasn't food poisoning. Whatever it was it was nasty -- violent vomiting, chills, aches, enervation, and ague (if you don't know this word, you need to do more crossword puzzles). Thankfully it passed quite quickly. My tummy still isn't completely settled, but it's no longer a Pandora's Box.
So now I'm normal again, which is good. Only when you are sick do you so pine for the mundanity of everyday life. I could barely get out of bed Monday morning, and I was thinking to myself I just want to feel good enough to take my kids to school -- not because this is something I had to do, S picked up the slack (I returned the favor at night, when she got sick), or even something that I enjoy doing; it's just that I wanted to feel good enough so that I could do it. It's my barometer when I'm sick. When I'm healthy, I have dreams and aspirations. When I'm sick my only goal is to get back to the ordinariness of my quotidian routine.
Although S and I got hit, the kids seemed to come out unscathed, which is also good. Well, actually, it's possible that they already got it. Lil' S2 has had a bug for about three weeks now, resulting in seaweed poo and a brutal diaper rash (now mostly gone). S asked the doctor about it at a checkup, and she said it was "daycare diarrhea" and there wasn't much that could be done about it other than waiting for it to pass. Shortly after he got sick, Lil' S1 also came down with something, but it just seemed to be the sniffles, and neither of them was completely decimated like S and I. So, I dunno, maybe it's all related, maybe not. Maybe S and I just needed to sleep -- like really sleep, like not-get-out-of-bed-until-noon sleep -- and our bodies knew the only way that would happen is to get sick. Can your immune system take one for the team? Who knows?
Other than getting really sick, things have been going pretty well. I've been trying to workout and eat better -- you know, the typically struggles of the desk-job-working, nearly middle-age, white man. It was SO much easier to do without kids than it is now with two hellions (or rather one hellion and one soon-to-be hellion). I've joined a racquetball league, which is good, but for some reason I suck now, even though I used to be good, so that's a bit dispiriting, but it's still a good workout, although I can really only play once a week. I've joined a gym as well, but again it's hard to go more than once a week, and even then, it's an ordeal because I usually have to bring one of the kids with me, usually Lil' S1, and he often doesn't want to go, and then when I make him, he bothers me about going to Target (in the same building as the gym) to buy him a toy, and if I don't do it then he pitches a fit, and it's not like the 19-year-old community college student at the gym daycare wants to or knows how to deal with him. So usually I give in and just buy a little $3 action figure at Target to placate him, which I don't really like because (a) he's already spoiled enough, (b) our house is quickly becoming a repository for cheap plastic shit made in China.
Actually, I have to fair, last time we went to the gym, it was pretty nice. Afterward we went to Panera and had a pleasant lunch. (Nothing like undoing all the hard work you just did at the gym by eating half a loaf of bread.) It was a good bonding moment.
[You did not want to be around when the Evils from my internal Pandora's box were released, believe you me.]
So now I'm normal again, which is good. Only when you are sick do you so pine for the mundanity of everyday life. I could barely get out of bed Monday morning, and I was thinking to myself I just want to feel good enough to take my kids to school -- not because this is something I had to do, S picked up the slack (I returned the favor at night, when she got sick), or even something that I enjoy doing; it's just that I wanted to feel good enough so that I could do it. It's my barometer when I'm sick. When I'm healthy, I have dreams and aspirations. When I'm sick my only goal is to get back to the ordinariness of my quotidian routine.
Although S and I got hit, the kids seemed to come out unscathed, which is also good. Well, actually, it's possible that they already got it. Lil' S2 has had a bug for about three weeks now, resulting in seaweed poo and a brutal diaper rash (now mostly gone). S asked the doctor about it at a checkup, and she said it was "daycare diarrhea" and there wasn't much that could be done about it other than waiting for it to pass. Shortly after he got sick, Lil' S1 also came down with something, but it just seemed to be the sniffles, and neither of them was completely decimated like S and I. So, I dunno, maybe it's all related, maybe not. Maybe S and I just needed to sleep -- like really sleep, like not-get-out-of-bed-until-noon sleep -- and our bodies knew the only way that would happen is to get sick. Can your immune system take one for the team? Who knows?
Other than getting really sick, things have been going pretty well. I've been trying to workout and eat better -- you know, the typically struggles of the desk-job-working, nearly middle-age, white man. It was SO much easier to do without kids than it is now with two hellions (or rather one hellion and one soon-to-be hellion). I've joined a racquetball league, which is good, but for some reason I suck now, even though I used to be good, so that's a bit dispiriting, but it's still a good workout, although I can really only play once a week. I've joined a gym as well, but again it's hard to go more than once a week, and even then, it's an ordeal because I usually have to bring one of the kids with me, usually Lil' S1, and he often doesn't want to go, and then when I make him, he bothers me about going to Target (in the same building as the gym) to buy him a toy, and if I don't do it then he pitches a fit, and it's not like the 19-year-old community college student at the gym daycare wants to or knows how to deal with him. So usually I give in and just buy a little $3 action figure at Target to placate him, which I don't really like because (a) he's already spoiled enough, (b) our house is quickly becoming a repository for cheap plastic shit made in China.
Actually, I have to fair, last time we went to the gym, it was pretty nice. Afterward we went to Panera and had a pleasant lunch. (Nothing like undoing all the hard work you just did at the gym by eating half a loaf of bread.) It was a good bonding moment.
["It's not a lizard, Daddy! It's a rep-tool!"]
In other news S and I have been averaging about 0.8 fights per night the last few weeks. We don't have one every night, but four out five seems about right. It pretty much always boils down to the same things, for the same reasons. The main thing is that we're both just tired and overworked, so we are cranky and things that would normally just be discussions or disagreements get turned up to 11. Then we often start fighting about our fight (a meta-fight, if you will). She gets upset by my tone, and I get upset because I don't understand why we are even having the discussion in the first place.
What happens is, S likes to ruminate about major life decisions. She's also comfortable making what I consider big changes more frequently than me. (I'm all about moving slowly and incrementally and savoring the process as I go.) So she will bring something up, and I won't want to talk about it, and then she'll get upset, and I'll get annoyed. And then she'll say that I never want to do anything, and I'll ask why she wants to bring this up now, when we have two small kids and are struggling just to find the time to do basic life maintenance like exercise and sleep. And then... Well you get the idea.
S and I just see life differently. The analogy is this: Imagine you are stuck in traffic, with no break in the immediate future. There are two types of people: Person 1 wants to stay in the car and make the best of things -- turn on some good music, tell some funny stories, and ride it out, because he knows it's temporary. Person 2 wants to pull off the road and go somewhere else for a while, maybe try some different roads. The roads might not get her to her destination any faster or be anymore scenic, but the experience will be something new -- something different. I'm Person 1; S is Person 2. And we've known this for a long time. We knew it before we got married, and we knew that it's something we had to manage. And we will. But it's not always easy.
Alright, party people, that's all I got this week.
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment