Something a little different today. For the first time in six years, I'm posting something not written by me. It's a funny anecdote by my sister. I'm quite excited about it, so without further ado, let me introduce you to the one and only My Sister! Take it away, K...
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Thank you to Crocodile DG for allowing me this platform to vent my frustrations anonymously because none of my friends are aware this blog exists, although I often think the whole world should be reading it on a regular basis. Admittedly I might be biased because my brother and I, for all our differences of opinion, and there are quite a few (for example I do not think he’d win a fight with a wolverine) do see eye-to-eye on some issues one of which is my topic: Dumb-Ass Parents With No Common Sense.
My oldest son started middle school this fall. Before that he and my youngest child were both attending a primary school close enough to our house that we are not eligible for bus service. For the past 5 years, or approximately 900 drop-off/pick-ups, it’s been smooth sailing which I now realize is thanks to Mr. W. Until I began dropping my oldest off at the middle school a month ago I had no idea the enormity of the service Mr. W provides at the primary school. Every morning and every afternoon, rain or shine, he is out in front of the building wearing his cargo shorts and fluorescent vest and directing parents in his booming New Zealand accent. I marvel at how he summons the energy, day after day, to repeatedly urge parents to “pull forward, pull forward, keep going. Stop here, please stay in the car, Mom, that’s it. Ok, now move along, move along. Next car please, pull forward, pull forward, keep going. Stop here, stay in the car, Dad, that’s it…” I’ve even wondered if this direction is necessary since we parents are grown ups with (presumably) valid driver’s licenses. Surely we can handle this on our own. But I now understand Mr. W is out there every day because he knows he is the only thing standing between us and chaos. You see, the middle school doesn’t have a Mr. W. There is in fact no one directing drop-off/pick-up and at the middle school; mayhem reigns supreme.
Let me explain the logistics… the front of the middle school is parallel to a busy street. The parking lot runs the length of the school and there is only one entrance/exit. When you enter the lot you stay straight and follow along the curb. The first two-thirds of the curb is red, and “No Stopping” is painted on the pavement every 10 feet. The last third of the curb is yellow and opens up to a wider area directly in front of the main doors that is clearly a loading zone. It is long enough for 5 vehicles to pull into at a time. Seems self-explanatory, right? Pull into the lot, drive along until you get to the designated zone, stop the car, tell your kid to get out, maybe tell him you love him depending on how the morning went, and then pull away from the curb to continue circling through the parking lot until you get back to the entrance/exit. If the loading zone is full you politely wait a moment until someone leaves and then you pull forward as far as possible allowing room for others behind you. I’ve provided a diagram you will want to refer to for this next part:
So on the first day of drop-off I was unsure how it all worked, although I’d been to the school previously for orientation and had an idea of how it should flow. Well, apparently I was one of only a few parents who had this idea because most were utterly lost. Many parents were stopping in the “no stopping” red zone or pulling into the loading zone, but stopping with room for two or more cars in front of them. Because of this the parents stuck behind them were abruptly and with no signaling swerving around the stopped vehicles (the place is swarming with kids, remember) and some were even pulling into parking spots and kicking their precious children out of their cars leaving them to navigate the craziness like pixelated frogs. I managed to drop my kid off in the loading zone and barely escaped with my life. I was shaken, but optimistic it would get better as the days went on and people figured it out. And it has gotten better, sort of. Most parents have figured out how to keep the flow going. But others… well that brings me to this morning.
I turn into the school lot with 3 cars ahead of me, pleased to see there is no one in the loading zone and anticipating a quick in and out. Next thing I know I’m slamming on my brakes possibly giving my child whiplash because the first car in the line (A on the diagram), the car with NO ONE IN FRONT OF HER, has parked. In the red zone. In front of where it says “No Stopping.” Then she GETS OUT OF HER CAR. She opens the back door for her daughter and helps her UNLOAD HER CELLO oblivious to the cars now backing up into the street and blocking traffic. She kisses her daughter good-bye and WATCHES HER CHILD WALK TOWARDS THE BUILDING. She then unhurriedly climbs back into her car and SITS THERE. Since this transaction takes a couple of minutes the car behind Dumb-ass decides to unload her kids and so, of course, the car directly in front of me does the same thing because, why not? So there I am watching kids being unloaded 50 feet away from the EMPTY drop-off zone. I so badly want to fling my door open, march up to Dumb-ass, and shout, “what the FUCK??” that I almost pass out. But I restrain myself and hear a soft honk behind me. I look in the mirror to see a dear friend directly behind me in her SUV smiling and waving. I half-heartedly wave back and then gesture to Dumb-ass with a “get a load of this dumb-ass” look on my face. My friend, of course, gets it because she’s my friend and I feel a little better that we have both witnessed this act of incredible stupidity and can bitch about it later. By now Dumb-ass and her followers have moved so I pull ALL THE WAY forward into the designated drop-off zone (B), tell my kid to get out and I love him (we had a good morning) and prepare to drive away. But first I look into my mirror so I can wave goodbye to my friend and see her … unloading her kid 7 car lengths behind me (C). In the red zone. On top of where it says “No Stopping.” Backing up traffic. Like a dumb-ass.
At least she didn’t get out of her car.
***********************
Thank you to Crocodile DG for allowing me this platform to vent my frustrations anonymously because none of my friends are aware this blog exists, although I often think the whole world should be reading it on a regular basis. Admittedly I might be biased because my brother and I, for all our differences of opinion, and there are quite a few (for example I do not think he’d win a fight with a wolverine) do see eye-to-eye on some issues one of which is my topic: Dumb-Ass Parents With No Common Sense.
My oldest son started middle school this fall. Before that he and my youngest child were both attending a primary school close enough to our house that we are not eligible for bus service. For the past 5 years, or approximately 900 drop-off/pick-ups, it’s been smooth sailing which I now realize is thanks to Mr. W. Until I began dropping my oldest off at the middle school a month ago I had no idea the enormity of the service Mr. W provides at the primary school. Every morning and every afternoon, rain or shine, he is out in front of the building wearing his cargo shorts and fluorescent vest and directing parents in his booming New Zealand accent. I marvel at how he summons the energy, day after day, to repeatedly urge parents to “pull forward, pull forward, keep going. Stop here, please stay in the car, Mom, that’s it. Ok, now move along, move along. Next car please, pull forward, pull forward, keep going. Stop here, stay in the car, Dad, that’s it…” I’ve even wondered if this direction is necessary since we parents are grown ups with (presumably) valid driver’s licenses. Surely we can handle this on our own. But I now understand Mr. W is out there every day because he knows he is the only thing standing between us and chaos. You see, the middle school doesn’t have a Mr. W. There is in fact no one directing drop-off/pick-up and at the middle school; mayhem reigns supreme.
Let me explain the logistics… the front of the middle school is parallel to a busy street. The parking lot runs the length of the school and there is only one entrance/exit. When you enter the lot you stay straight and follow along the curb. The first two-thirds of the curb is red, and “No Stopping” is painted on the pavement every 10 feet. The last third of the curb is yellow and opens up to a wider area directly in front of the main doors that is clearly a loading zone. It is long enough for 5 vehicles to pull into at a time. Seems self-explanatory, right? Pull into the lot, drive along until you get to the designated zone, stop the car, tell your kid to get out, maybe tell him you love him depending on how the morning went, and then pull away from the curb to continue circling through the parking lot until you get back to the entrance/exit. If the loading zone is full you politely wait a moment until someone leaves and then you pull forward as far as possible allowing room for others behind you. I’ve provided a diagram you will want to refer to for this next part:
So on the first day of drop-off I was unsure how it all worked, although I’d been to the school previously for orientation and had an idea of how it should flow. Well, apparently I was one of only a few parents who had this idea because most were utterly lost. Many parents were stopping in the “no stopping” red zone or pulling into the loading zone, but stopping with room for two or more cars in front of them. Because of this the parents stuck behind them were abruptly and with no signaling swerving around the stopped vehicles (the place is swarming with kids, remember) and some were even pulling into parking spots and kicking their precious children out of their cars leaving them to navigate the craziness like pixelated frogs. I managed to drop my kid off in the loading zone and barely escaped with my life. I was shaken, but optimistic it would get better as the days went on and people figured it out. And it has gotten better, sort of. Most parents have figured out how to keep the flow going. But others… well that brings me to this morning.
I turn into the school lot with 3 cars ahead of me, pleased to see there is no one in the loading zone and anticipating a quick in and out. Next thing I know I’m slamming on my brakes possibly giving my child whiplash because the first car in the line (A on the diagram), the car with NO ONE IN FRONT OF HER, has parked. In the red zone. In front of where it says “No Stopping.” Then she GETS OUT OF HER CAR. She opens the back door for her daughter and helps her UNLOAD HER CELLO oblivious to the cars now backing up into the street and blocking traffic. She kisses her daughter good-bye and WATCHES HER CHILD WALK TOWARDS THE BUILDING. She then unhurriedly climbs back into her car and SITS THERE. Since this transaction takes a couple of minutes the car behind Dumb-ass decides to unload her kids and so, of course, the car directly in front of me does the same thing because, why not? So there I am watching kids being unloaded 50 feet away from the EMPTY drop-off zone. I so badly want to fling my door open, march up to Dumb-ass, and shout, “what the FUCK??” that I almost pass out. But I restrain myself and hear a soft honk behind me. I look in the mirror to see a dear friend directly behind me in her SUV smiling and waving. I half-heartedly wave back and then gesture to Dumb-ass with a “get a load of this dumb-ass” look on my face. My friend, of course, gets it because she’s my friend and I feel a little better that we have both witnessed this act of incredible stupidity and can bitch about it later. By now Dumb-ass and her followers have moved so I pull ALL THE WAY forward into the designated drop-off zone (B), tell my kid to get out and I love him (we had a good morning) and prepare to drive away. But first I look into my mirror so I can wave goodbye to my friend and see her … unloading her kid 7 car lengths behind me (C). In the red zone. On top of where it says “No Stopping.” Backing up traffic. Like a dumb-ass.
At least she didn’t get out of her car.
This is hands down the best post you have ever posted.
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