Entry 374: Double-Duty Dadding

S left the country for work on Sunday, so I've been double-duty dadding this week.  Well, not quite double, S's parents came up to help out, so it's more like 1.5-times-duty.  They are actually not much help with the boys because the boys don't let them help.  They aren't used to having them around, so they want me to do everything.  Here's a typical conversation:

Me: "Hey, Lil' S1, go put your shoes on, we gotta go."
Lil' S1: "I need your help to know what shoe goes on what foot."
Me: "Go ask Avva, she'll help you."
Lil' S1: "N-o-o-o," [whiny voice] "I want you to do it."
Me: *Sigh*

Lil' S2 is even worse.  If I'm around and not paying one-hundred percent attention to him, he starts crying and then runs over and clings to my pant leg.

So I'm doing the bulk of the work with the kids.  But S's mom really helps out in two ways: (1) she cooks all the meals; (2) she gets Lil' S2 when he wakes up.  That latter one is especially huge.  He typically wakes up sometime between 5 a.m. and 6:30 a.m.  Then it's about 50-50 as to whether or not he will fall back asleep, and even if he does, it's usually after 25 minutes of rolling around and making noise.  More often than not when he first gets up, I get up for the day.  But with S's mom here, I can usually sleep in until 7:15 or so without distraction.  That extra bit of sleep makes such a big difference in how I feel and how I can function throughout the day.  So I'm extremely grateful that she comes up to help when S is away.  S's dad, on the other hand... well, let's just say he tries -- kinda.

Alright, I think I'll finish out this post with a lightning round.  I haven't done one in a while, so let's hit it.

-I won my office March Madness pool again.  It's my third time in five years.  Only one person has won it more than me (four times), and he's been playing since it started in 1999.  My first year was 2011.  And in the years I didn't win, I came in second twice and third once.  (Around 15 people play each year.)  I don't follow college basketball until the tournament, but I came up with a procedure to rank the teams based on FiveThrityEight's tournament odds.  It's a pretty simple process that doesn't require any knowledge beyond basic probability, but I haven't revealed the details to anybody, and I refer to it only as "my algorithm" to make it sound more sophisticated than it is.

It might seem silly to say this, but I actually think this helps my standing with the company in a legitimate way.  The vice president of the company has implied several times that he's impressed that I can use math to pick college basketball winners.  ("You might have to give a lunch-time talk about your technique.")  He has some say in how bonuses and salaries are allotted, so impressing him certainly can't hurt.

[My algorithm predicted a strong showing from South Carolina]

-We signed Lil' S1 up for soccer again this spring, and I'm already regretting it after one practice.  He just can't focus yet on a single activity for a 45 minute stretch.  Actually, none of the kids really can.  Four is just too young.  I didn't start organized sports until I was 7.  Also, a big part of the problem is his "coach" is absolutely abysmal at running the practice.  He doesn't keep the kids engaged, and he runs these drills that require the kids to stand in a line and wait for minutes at a time.  Of course they get distracted and start playing in the dirt and hanging on the equipment (Lil' S1 literally got his head stuck in the net), which is fine, they're little kids after all, but if that's the way it's going to be, then why don't we all keep our registration fees, save ourselves the headache of trying to constantly corral our kids and keep them on the field, and just meet up at the playground every Saturday.  It poured rain today, and I am so hoping the field will be in bad enough condition to cancel practice tomorrow morning.

By the way, I know what you are thinking, and the answer is I didn't volunteer to coach because I don't want to coach.  If either of my kids show a sustained interest in sports I'll get into it and volunteer, but for now, no thanks.

[This is, hands down, the greatest miss in soccer history.]

-Speaking of participating in sports, in doing Krav Maga, I've learned that I can kick really hard.  Punching, I'm not sure about, I can't tell if I have powerful punches, but I can definitely do some damage with my legs.  Last week one guy refused to hold the pad for me after the first set, because he said the jolts were hurting his arms too much.  And then after that, I kicked the pad clean out of a woman's hands.  So, if you were thinking about letting me kick you in the groin, I suggest you think again.

-I've been trying to find a new TV show to get into.  It's weird, we are in the golden age of TV, and yet I feel like there is nothing for me to watch.  Maybe it's the paradox of choice.  For one thing, there's so much out there, it can be overwhelming to sort through it.  For another thing, since I know there are so many good shows available, I'm overly worried about picking a show I won't like or will only kinda like and wasting my time.  So then I just don't pick anything at all.  Should I watch The Americans, The Crown, or Narcos?  Should I finally break down and watch Mad Men from start to finish?  Should I go with something lighter -- Bob's Burgers or Pitch?  Or should I rewatch a classic I haven't seen in years like The Sopranos or The Simpsons?  See what I mean?  It's maddening.  Well, Better Call Saul returns in a few weeks, so at least I have that to look forward to.

-Lil' S2 had gotten really into reading -- or at least being read to.  He toddles over to the bookshelf pulls out a book and then toddles over to you and starts whining until you put him on your lap and start reading to him.    Then when you finish, he does it again.  He's insatiable.  I hope this means that he will be really into reading later in life.  I would love to have a bookworm kid.  His brother is more of an iPadworm kid.

-Huge pet peeve of mine: When somebody asks you to do something, you say yes and ask them about the details, and then they don't respond to you in a timely fashion.  This happened to me twice recently.  In the first case, I was asked to give another kid a ride back from a group event Lil' S1 attended.  It was no problem; I just needed to know if I was taking him home or to our house where his parents would pick him up.  So I asked this in a reply email and then... crickets.  Several days went by, and then the night before the event I sent another email, and the person did respond, saying I should take him home.  Fine, but WTF?  Why am I the one emailing you a follow up about this?  I'm the one doing the favor, no?  Excuse me for bothering you.  But I just want to verify that it's still okay if I pick up your kid for you.  Then the kid got sick and didn't even go to the event.

The second case is still in progress.  Some friends are coming to town, so they emailed us about a week ago asking if we were available to hang out tomorrow.  I wrote back saying yes, giving the times at which we were available and some suggested activities, and asking them if this worked for them.  Nobody wrote back.  So are we hanging out tomorrow?  Your guess is as good as mine.

-I recently found out there is a second Trainspotting movie out and it's getting good reviews.  You dinnae ken how chuffed I am about this.

Until next time...