Busy weekend, this, so I'll bang out as much as I can in the short time I have to blog. We're preparing to go away for a few weeks -- the boys and I are going to visit my family in Washington (the state), and S is going somewhere, Indonesia, I think, for work. The way things worked out this summer, with our move and the boys switching school from a year-round school to a non-year-round school, separate vacations were the most practical course of action when it comes to childcare. This way I can cover two weeks, and S can cover two weeks (she's taking them to her parents' without me, when we get back), and then we get a month of coverage. It's just for this summer -- once we have an established schedule, and we replenish our household coffers, we will vacation together again.
It's funny, I was listening to the latest episode of The Weeds podcast, and they were talking about finding childcare for the summer when school is out, and it was like they had secret cameras set up in S's and my house -- Tennis camp starts on the 10th and runs through the 24th; then culture camp starts on the 30th; they have Silver Stars on the 28th; so we will just need somebody to cover that Monday and Wednesday. I can call Brianna for Monday and work a half-day on Wednesday... You need a scheduling algorithm just to figure it all out. The thing about The Weeds is that most the hosts live in DC, so their real-world examples are actually real-world to me.
S tends to get stressed out a bit before we travel, and apparently this is true even if we take separate trips. I'm the opposite. She's totally laid-back about the actual traveling, because she does it so often, but she's really controlling with the packing and preparation. I dread the actual flight (actually it's more the to-and-from the airport I find particularly stressful, not the actual flight itself), and I don't even give much thought to the packing. She has already made several "requests" about things I put in their carry-ons -- snacks and books and the like -- and she wants to pack the suitcase for them herself. I don't really want her to -- I want to pack things how I like them -- but it gives her peace of mind, so sometimes it's best to just say "thanks" and then rearrange things to my liking when she's not looking. Of course, I wish S was coming with us, but there are advantages to solo-dadding. If you are married with kids, think about how many of your little spousal fights have to do with disagreements in parenting tactics. It's nice to not have to worry about that once in a while.
Things were extra busy this weekend because we had some friends over to our new house. It was really nice. I finally feel like we have the perfect hang-out house. We have a big open upstairs that leads out to the deck and a sizable backyard. It's not like our old house, which was sectioned off into small rooms, and the deck was downstairs and across the lawn from the actual house. Also, we have a big basement filled with toys, so we can send the kids downstairs and have actual adult conversations about important things like playlists at early '90s junior high dances (staples: Boyz II Men, Timmy T, Vanessa Williams).
We also have a decent-sized open kitchen, which is an underrated aspect of entertaining. People always congregate in the kitchen, at least for part of the night, because it's where the refrigerator is (and so it's usually where the alcohol is) and also because the hosts are often finishing up some food preparation, so people come in to talk to them. If your kitchen isn't open, things almost always split into a kitchen group and a non-kitchen group.
I think a good time was had by all last night. I had fun. S messed up a couple of the dishes, but she noticed it with enough time to fix things, so it was much more funny than it was tragic. She put too much salt in the potato salad, because the recipe called for "2 tablespoons of salt (used while boiling potatoes)," and she didn't notice the last part, so she put in two tablespoons of salt after the potato salad had already been made. That is a fucking lot of salt. It straight-up ruined the entire batch. I tried it, and it wasn't eh, a little salty for my taste; it was oh my god, it tastes like I chugged water straight from the Dead Sea! We had to chuck it. (The second batch was delicious, though.)
Before that she made a peanut butter, pretzel, and chocolate pie for dessert. But some of the kids are allergic to nuts, so she used sunflower seed butter (SunButter) instead of peanut butter. I sampled it, and it tasted funky, like, really funky. I chalked it up to the SunButter, but the taste lingered and a familiar flavor started to distinguish itself:
"For some reason, I'm tasting garlic," I said to S. "It's really weird."
"Oh," S replied, "that's because I accidentally used garlic-flavored pretzels."
Needless to say, that went in the trash too. We bought ice cream sandwiches instead.
50% of me felt bad for my wife, because she was legit disappointed, at least a little bit; 45% of me just thought it was funny; and 5% of me was annoyed because this is a common problem for S. She doesn't read things like labels or directions carefully, so she makes more mistakes than she should. It's a speed thing. I see how she does things, and she just charges though, without double-checking or verifying anything. It's the exact opposite of how I do things. I'm as slow as a Bob Rafelson movie (there's a deep cut), but I almost never make mistakes like this.
The flip-side, however, is that maybe with all the time she saves on a regularly basis, she still comes out ahead in the end, despite the occasional big mistake. Maybe it's more efficient to race through everything, and then pay a sizable lump-sum price every once in a while. It's kinda like solving crossword puzzles in a tournament setting. If you race through as fast you can, you're more likely to make mistakes. But if you solve carefully, then you're more likely to be beaten by faster solvers. You can't be cautious and solve at your top speed. You always have to comprise one or the other (or a little bit of both). And different great solvers do it differently. There's no right or wrong way.
In conclusion, S gets to make fun of me a little bit each day when I take 15 minutes to load three dishes in the dishwasher (I like it done right), and I get to make fun of her a lot every once in a while, when she puts garlic in the dessert.
Until next time...
It's funny, I was listening to the latest episode of The Weeds podcast, and they were talking about finding childcare for the summer when school is out, and it was like they had secret cameras set up in S's and my house -- Tennis camp starts on the 10th and runs through the 24th; then culture camp starts on the 30th; they have Silver Stars on the 28th; so we will just need somebody to cover that Monday and Wednesday. I can call Brianna for Monday and work a half-day on Wednesday... You need a scheduling algorithm just to figure it all out. The thing about The Weeds is that most the hosts live in DC, so their real-world examples are actually real-world to me.
S tends to get stressed out a bit before we travel, and apparently this is true even if we take separate trips. I'm the opposite. She's totally laid-back about the actual traveling, because she does it so often, but she's really controlling with the packing and preparation. I dread the actual flight (actually it's more the to-and-from the airport I find particularly stressful, not the actual flight itself), and I don't even give much thought to the packing. She has already made several "requests" about things I put in their carry-ons -- snacks and books and the like -- and she wants to pack the suitcase for them herself. I don't really want her to -- I want to pack things how I like them -- but it gives her peace of mind, so sometimes it's best to just say "thanks" and then rearrange things to my liking when she's not looking. Of course, I wish S was coming with us, but there are advantages to solo-dadding. If you are married with kids, think about how many of your little spousal fights have to do with disagreements in parenting tactics. It's nice to not have to worry about that once in a while.
Things were extra busy this weekend because we had some friends over to our new house. It was really nice. I finally feel like we have the perfect hang-out house. We have a big open upstairs that leads out to the deck and a sizable backyard. It's not like our old house, which was sectioned off into small rooms, and the deck was downstairs and across the lawn from the actual house. Also, we have a big basement filled with toys, so we can send the kids downstairs and have actual adult conversations about important things like playlists at early '90s junior high dances (staples: Boyz II Men, Timmy T, Vanessa Williams).
We also have a decent-sized open kitchen, which is an underrated aspect of entertaining. People always congregate in the kitchen, at least for part of the night, because it's where the refrigerator is (and so it's usually where the alcohol is) and also because the hosts are often finishing up some food preparation, so people come in to talk to them. If your kitchen isn't open, things almost always split into a kitchen group and a non-kitchen group.
I think a good time was had by all last night. I had fun. S messed up a couple of the dishes, but she noticed it with enough time to fix things, so it was much more funny than it was tragic. She put too much salt in the potato salad, because the recipe called for "2 tablespoons of salt (used while boiling potatoes)," and she didn't notice the last part, so she put in two tablespoons of salt after the potato salad had already been made. That is a fucking lot of salt. It straight-up ruined the entire batch. I tried it, and it wasn't eh, a little salty for my taste; it was oh my god, it tastes like I chugged water straight from the Dead Sea! We had to chuck it. (The second batch was delicious, though.)
Before that she made a peanut butter, pretzel, and chocolate pie for dessert. But some of the kids are allergic to nuts, so she used sunflower seed butter (SunButter) instead of peanut butter. I sampled it, and it tasted funky, like, really funky. I chalked it up to the SunButter, but the taste lingered and a familiar flavor started to distinguish itself:
"For some reason, I'm tasting garlic," I said to S. "It's really weird."
"Oh," S replied, "that's because I accidentally used garlic-flavored pretzels."
Needless to say, that went in the trash too. We bought ice cream sandwiches instead.
50% of me felt bad for my wife, because she was legit disappointed, at least a little bit; 45% of me just thought it was funny; and 5% of me was annoyed because this is a common problem for S. She doesn't read things like labels or directions carefully, so she makes more mistakes than she should. It's a speed thing. I see how she does things, and she just charges though, without double-checking or verifying anything. It's the exact opposite of how I do things. I'm as slow as a Bob Rafelson movie (there's a deep cut), but I almost never make mistakes like this.
The flip-side, however, is that maybe with all the time she saves on a regularly basis, she still comes out ahead in the end, despite the occasional big mistake. Maybe it's more efficient to race through everything, and then pay a sizable lump-sum price every once in a while. It's kinda like solving crossword puzzles in a tournament setting. If you race through as fast you can, you're more likely to make mistakes. But if you solve carefully, then you're more likely to be beaten by faster solvers. You can't be cautious and solve at your top speed. You always have to comprise one or the other (or a little bit of both). And different great solvers do it differently. There's no right or wrong way.
In conclusion, S gets to make fun of me a little bit each day when I take 15 minutes to load three dishes in the dishwasher (I like it done right), and I get to make fun of her a lot every once in a while, when she puts garlic in the dessert.
Until next time...
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