On Christmas Eve, S went shopping with her sister at some supposedly incredible outlet mall, and I went with her parents and our boys to visit her cousin in Miami, and then we were to rendezvous at a beachside apartment we rented in Fort Lauderdale. It might seem a bit weird that I was going to visit S's cousin with her parents, but not her, but that's just how it goes sometimes with S's family. Everybody is going in a million different directions, and there are all these people who come out of the woodwork, maybe I've met them before, maybe not, and it often doesn't even get explained to me who they are, and they might not speak English very well, so I just nod and smile and go with the flow.
It turned out to be a good little trip though. Her cousin lives in a huge high-rise in the heart of Miami, across the street from AmericanAirlines Arena (home of the Miami Heat), so I got a chance to see the city of Miami proper, if only briefly. He took the boys and I down to Bayfront Park, which is basically a boardwalk without the actually boards -- tons of restaurants and shops and food stands and boat tours and the like. Since it's Miami it has a Latino vibe to it (I'm not sure if I actually heard a Pitbull song down there or not, but I have "Fireball" on loop in my memory). It would have been cool to eat lunch or have a drink down there. But I was with my kids, who didn't want to sit still, and I was super full anyway, because we just ate a huge Indian feast at S's cousin's. That's how her family rolls. They rarely eat out on vacation. Instead her mom brings, like, half the kitchen with her and makes huge meals, which I end up eating around 75% of by myself. The boys won't eat anything but plain dosas and chipatis; S and her sister always bring their own diet food; and my in-laws don't eat much because they're old, I guess. That leaves me, polishing off four masala dosas with chutney and a Indian-style salad, followed by a bunch of grapes (the massive fruit bowl always comes out after the meal). It's delicious, but by day three, I feel like I've put on 25 pounds, and I just want a plain turkey sandwich for lunch.
This time there was another Indian woman there to help S's mom with the lunch preparations. I later found out it was S's cousin's mom, who is actually S's first cousin (remember, nobody explains anything to me), so the man referred to previously (and hereafter) as S's cousin is actually her cousin once-removed. His mom is only a few years older than me, so I entertained the idea briefly that it might be his wife, but he's not married. He's only in his mid-20s, and it's weird that people of my generation can have kids in their mid-20s, and it's not that ridiculous. Like, if somebody is 46 and has a kid at 21 -- young, but not absurdly young -- then that kid is now 25. Seriously, I did the arithmetic: 46 - 21 = 25. I'm never not amazed by the passage of time.
One funny thing that happened is I told S's cousin that I had been to India once, to get married, and I told him all about the trip and the wedding, and he politely listened to me, and then said, "Yeah, I know, I was at your wedding." D'oh! In my defense, there were a bunch of people there I didn't know, and nobody explains anything to me.
Anyway, they had these virtual reality pods along the Bayfront portico, and of course when Lil' S1 saw them he wanted to try it. (I literally have never known a kid to like screen time as much as him.) And then because his brother wanted to try it, Lil' S2 wanted to try it as well, so I bought them both a session. The woman at the register thought I wanted one too, so she rang me up for three, and I just went along with it, even though I had little desire to try it. They have a few different scenarios -- the kids did "Dinosaur Discovery" -- and I just told her to pick her favorite one for me, which turned out to be a mistake, because she picked "Roller Coaster," and roller coasters make me sick. It was pretty stupid, truth be told. The combination of the goggles pinching my nose and the flashing lights gave me a headache, so I would periodically disconnect for a few seconds. It was a complete waste of $11. I see how VR has potential -- it is exciting to feel totally immersed in an adventure -- but if this is anywhere close to top-of-the-line, there is still a long way to go. The kids liked it, but they like a lot of stupid shit, so you can't judge by that.
Back at S's cousin's place, I snapped a quick selfie from his balcony overlooking the bay, so that I'd have a memento. I wanted to get one with the kids, but they weren't cooperating, and, honestly, it made me super nervous when they went out on the balcony. We were on the fiftieth floor, or something like that, and even just walking out there myself made me feel uneasy. Heck, being inside was disconcerting at first because most the walls are made of glass. It's mostly an irrational fear -- the walls/railing are probably just as secure as those of any high-rise where you can't see how high you are. When the shades were drawn, I felt totally at ease, even though they provide absolutely no protection. Also, if we had been only, say, three stories up, I would have felt fine, even though a fall from three stories would be pretty damn awful as well. I fully admit it doesn't make sense. Nevertheless, when the kids went out on the balcony I couldn't get "Tears in Heaven" out of my head.
We arrived at the apartment in Fort Lauderdale in the early evening. It was fine, but not really what I had in mind. A few years back we rented a house at Hilton Head for Christmas, and that was really terrific. We had a lot of space and it was quiet, and we could rent bikes and tool around the cozy island and visit the kitschy shops with their gimcrackery and gewgaw. It was too cold to go in the ocean, but the beach was beautiful and not very crowded -- very serene.
This was almost the exact opposite. We were in another high-rise building (only on the third floor, thankfully), in a dense urban area. There was no quaint town to explore and everything was super crowded and noisy. Also, our apartment unit was kinda shabby. You could tell the guy who owned it (we got it on Airbnb) knew it was all about the location, so he didn't feel compelled to keep the unit super nice. The door to the balcony couldn't be opened; the blinds in our bedroom were broken; one of the outlets didn't work; and there was a dearth of normal household supplies like toilet paper and bath soap. The building itself had some nice amenities -- a gym, a swimming pool, a game parlor, and of course immediate beach access -- but we didn't get to take full advantage of it, because half our party got sick.
And I will get to that in Part III. Yes, that's right, I'm making this a trilogy.
Until next time...
[View of S's cousin's building from Bayfront Park, with the back of Lil' S2.]
It turned out to be a good little trip though. Her cousin lives in a huge high-rise in the heart of Miami, across the street from AmericanAirlines Arena (home of the Miami Heat), so I got a chance to see the city of Miami proper, if only briefly. He took the boys and I down to Bayfront Park, which is basically a boardwalk without the actually boards -- tons of restaurants and shops and food stands and boat tours and the like. Since it's Miami it has a Latino vibe to it (I'm not sure if I actually heard a Pitbull song down there or not, but I have "Fireball" on loop in my memory). It would have been cool to eat lunch or have a drink down there. But I was with my kids, who didn't want to sit still, and I was super full anyway, because we just ate a huge Indian feast at S's cousin's. That's how her family rolls. They rarely eat out on vacation. Instead her mom brings, like, half the kitchen with her and makes huge meals, which I end up eating around 75% of by myself. The boys won't eat anything but plain dosas and chipatis; S and her sister always bring their own diet food; and my in-laws don't eat much because they're old, I guess. That leaves me, polishing off four masala dosas with chutney and a Indian-style salad, followed by a bunch of grapes (the massive fruit bowl always comes out after the meal). It's delicious, but by day three, I feel like I've put on 25 pounds, and I just want a plain turkey sandwich for lunch.
[Perhaps the greatest shot in NBA history took place at AmericanAirlines Arena]
This time there was another Indian woman there to help S's mom with the lunch preparations. I later found out it was S's cousin's mom, who is actually S's first cousin (remember, nobody explains anything to me), so the man referred to previously (and hereafter) as S's cousin is actually her cousin once-removed. His mom is only a few years older than me, so I entertained the idea briefly that it might be his wife, but he's not married. He's only in his mid-20s, and it's weird that people of my generation can have kids in their mid-20s, and it's not that ridiculous. Like, if somebody is 46 and has a kid at 21 -- young, but not absurdly young -- then that kid is now 25. Seriously, I did the arithmetic: 46 - 21 = 25. I'm never not amazed by the passage of time.
One funny thing that happened is I told S's cousin that I had been to India once, to get married, and I told him all about the trip and the wedding, and he politely listened to me, and then said, "Yeah, I know, I was at your wedding." D'oh! In my defense, there were a bunch of people there I didn't know, and nobody explains anything to me.
Anyway, they had these virtual reality pods along the Bayfront portico, and of course when Lil' S1 saw them he wanted to try it. (I literally have never known a kid to like screen time as much as him.) And then because his brother wanted to try it, Lil' S2 wanted to try it as well, so I bought them both a session. The woman at the register thought I wanted one too, so she rang me up for three, and I just went along with it, even though I had little desire to try it. They have a few different scenarios -- the kids did "Dinosaur Discovery" -- and I just told her to pick her favorite one for me, which turned out to be a mistake, because she picked "Roller Coaster," and roller coasters make me sick. It was pretty stupid, truth be told. The combination of the goggles pinching my nose and the flashing lights gave me a headache, so I would periodically disconnect for a few seconds. It was a complete waste of $11. I see how VR has potential -- it is exciting to feel totally immersed in an adventure -- but if this is anywhere close to top-of-the-line, there is still a long way to go. The kids liked it, but they like a lot of stupid shit, so you can't judge by that.
Back at S's cousin's place, I snapped a quick selfie from his balcony overlooking the bay, so that I'd have a memento. I wanted to get one with the kids, but they weren't cooperating, and, honestly, it made me super nervous when they went out on the balcony. We were on the fiftieth floor, or something like that, and even just walking out there myself made me feel uneasy. Heck, being inside was disconcerting at first because most the walls are made of glass. It's mostly an irrational fear -- the walls/railing are probably just as secure as those of any high-rise where you can't see how high you are. When the shades were drawn, I felt totally at ease, even though they provide absolutely no protection. Also, if we had been only, say, three stories up, I would have felt fine, even though a fall from three stories would be pretty damn awful as well. I fully admit it doesn't make sense. Nevertheless, when the kids went out on the balcony I couldn't get "Tears in Heaven" out of my head.
We arrived at the apartment in Fort Lauderdale in the early evening. It was fine, but not really what I had in mind. A few years back we rented a house at Hilton Head for Christmas, and that was really terrific. We had a lot of space and it was quiet, and we could rent bikes and tool around the cozy island and visit the kitschy shops with their gimcrackery and gewgaw. It was too cold to go in the ocean, but the beach was beautiful and not very crowded -- very serene.
This was almost the exact opposite. We were in another high-rise building (only on the third floor, thankfully), in a dense urban area. There was no quaint town to explore and everything was super crowded and noisy. Also, our apartment unit was kinda shabby. You could tell the guy who owned it (we got it on Airbnb) knew it was all about the location, so he didn't feel compelled to keep the unit super nice. The door to the balcony couldn't be opened; the blinds in our bedroom were broken; one of the outlets didn't work; and there was a dearth of normal household supplies like toilet paper and bath soap. The building itself had some nice amenities -- a gym, a swimming pool, a game parlor, and of course immediate beach access -- but we didn't get to take full advantage of it, because half our party got sick.
And I will get to that in Part III. Yes, that's right, I'm making this a trilogy.
Until next time...
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