We got a knock on the door the other night around dinner time. Lil' S1 answered it, because he loves answering the door, and I heard a voice say, "Can you go get your daddy for me?" It was my next door neighbor. Her husband had fallen and she needed help getting him back up. It's funny when it's on a campy '80s commercial; it's a lot less humorous in real life.
I put my shoes on and hustled over there as quickly as possible, finding, indeed, a fallen old man crumpled in a hallway. I asked several times if we should call an ambulance or something, but she assured me that once he got back up he could manage on his own. He also has a broken shoulder -- not from the fall, it was already in a sling -- so it was hard to get a grip on him, but I was able to get under him and grab his belt loops and hoist him back up on his feet. His wife gave him his cane and then he ambled over to the toilet (the closest seat) and sat down, completely enervated. I made his wife take down my number and then I left. I felt like I should have done more, even though I know there was nothing else to do.
Of course, when something like this happens, I start thinking about my own parents (who seem to still be holding their own, physically and mentally, thank goodness) and also about my own mortality. I didn't have a full-on existential freakout, but I did think about myself at his age (assuming I get there; I'm planning on it, but you never know). I just can't imagine degenerating to that point -- brittle-boned, unable to stand, exhausted after a few steps, barely able to speak. I think about it, and it's, like, fuck, maybe Hemingway had the right idea. But that's too bleak for me. I'm an optimist at heart. So, to cheer myself up, here's a list off the top of my head of some inspiring accomplishments by old people.
- Buck O'Neil, the iconic baseball personality, was touring the nation, giving interviews, championing the Negro Leagues Museum and pre-integration Black ballplayers right up to his death at age 94 in 2006.
- The oldest living major league baseball player Eddie Robinson recently started a podcast at age 100 about his playing days.
- Robert Marchand rode a bicycle 15 km (about 9 mi) on his 107th birthday.
- Carl Reiner wrote three memoirs in his 90s and was active (and cogent) on Twitter and other media until his death at 98.
- Grandma Moses didn't start painting until 78. (Note: I don't really know who Grandma Moses is. This is just the example I always hear cited of somebody starting a new trade at an advanced age. I should read her Wikipedia page... done -- interesting enough.)
- Writer and running enthusiast Malcolm Gladwell beat his friend (a 27-year-old) in a race by running a 5:15 mile; Gladwell is 67 years old.
- George Foreman rewon the heavyweight boxing title in 1994 at age 45 and defended it a year later before retiring. This is my favorite old person sports feat, because Foreman did it in one of the most physically demanding sports and because it doesn't require the "for an old person qualifier." He was heavyweight fricking champion! Not of the senior circuit, of the entire sport. That's amazing at any age. He knocked out a 26-year-old to do it.** It just goes to show the true power of meat grilled at a slant.
- A lot is made of Joe Biden being an old president at 78, but Speaker
of the House Nancy Pelosi is two years older, and her California counterpart in the
Senate, Dianne Feinstein, just turned 88.
- Hungarian mathematician Paul Erdős was one of the best and most prolific problem solvers until he died at 83.*
I think what this list shows is that you can't beat death -- we're all going to go sometime (relatively soon, too, if you think about it) -- but you can put up an admirable fight with a little determination and probably a lot of luck.
*Erdős was fascinated by the subject of his own death and would frequently reference it in casual conversation in his old age. He supposedly once said, "I want to be giving a lecture, finishing up an important proof on the blackboard, when someone in the audience shouts out, 'What about the general case?'. I'll turn to the audience and smile, 'I'll leave that to the next generation,' and then I'll keel over."
**It's a pretty crazy fight (highlights here). Foreman survives haymaker after haymaker from the then champion, a lefty name Michael Moorer, and then knocks him out with what looks to be an ordinary right cross. It goes to show how much power Foreman had. The thing about those really big dudes is that their punches often look weaker than littler dudes because they don't have that same quick pop to them, but they are usually way stronger. It's physics -- mass matters.
In other news, we hit the pool pretty hard this weekend. We went to our pool Friday afternoon and then today one of Lil' S1's classmates had a birthday party at a different pool. It's fun, except Lil' S2 can't really swim yet, so we always have to go in the pool with him, or watch him like a hawk to make sure he doesn't get in over his head. It's hard to just chill and chat with the other parents.
Lil' S1 went off a high dive today for the first time (we don't have one at our pool). He didn't hesitate or anything. He just went right up and cannonballed off. He's a pretty competent swimmer now. The only thing I have to worry with him about is getting tired or goofing off. Today he was playing in the deep end with his friends, and they were stealing each others noodles, and I had to intervene a few times and tell them not to do that. Roughhousing by taking away a 9-year-old kid's flotation device in ten-foot water just didn't seem like a good idea to me. (One thing I like about our pool, as opposed to the one we were at today, is that there isn't really a deep end where kids can play.)
I swam laps yesterday for the first time in, I dunno, 15 years? I think the last time I went was the campus pool in grad school. It's such a hard workout for me. I had to stop for a little breather after every length. (Meanwhile the old woman in the lane next to me is going nonstop and doing kick-flip turns.) It felt pretty good though, and it's a low-impact exercise which is a welcome change-up to the fight class I took on Thursday. I think I'm going to try to add swimming to my regular workout schedule.
The only thing I don't like about it is the chlorine really irritates my skin, and I get really bad swimmer's itch if I go in a pool too frequently. That's the main reason I didn't play water polo in high school. Well, that and I didn't want to go to practice at 6:00 am, which is when the pool was available. I quit football because the helmet hurt my head, and I never played water polo because I have sensitive skin and don't like to get up early. I never realized before how much my fussiness affected my athletic endeavors as a youth.
Alright, that's all for tonight. Until next time...
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