Note: Some years in this post have been approximated.
1987
When I was a child, ages 7-11 (or so), we celebrated the 4th of July at our family friends' house. We would go over there and cook out in their backyard, and then we would light off fireworks once it got dark. My dad and his friend G would do it up, buying a trunkful of minor explosives from the Indian reservations -- stuff that might lead to inquiries from Child Protective Services if it was brought around kids today. But this was the 1980s -- if we could sit in a parked car unattended for 45 minutes while our mothers went grocery shopping, we could let off some Piccolo Petes.
I still remember the rules. We had punks* that we had to put in the ground while not in use, and then we had to place the firework in the street with the wick pointed up, come back and get our punk, light the firework, and then flee the "blast zone." I wouldn't say it was safe, necessarily, but I'd probably let Lil' S1 do it now (Lil' S2 is a bit too young), if this was a social acceptable thing where we live today. It's a decent lesson in responsibility, and it's fun. I have fond memories of lighting off all those fireworks -- Jumping Jacks, Mighty Mights, Small Bees, Saturn Balls, Roman Candles...
*I've never heard the word punk used in this way (Entry 3 of 3), except when it comes to lighting fireworks as a child.
1988
In my mind's eye, my whole family was at Cheney Stadium watching the Tacoma Tigers play the Calgary Cannons. But the main reason for going was to see the fireworks show after the game, and I can't imagine my sister or brother sitting through an entire baseball game under any circumstances, so it's possible they weren't there. Whatever the case, Tacoma destroyed Calgary before a packed crowd. They scored so many runs, the scoreboard couldn't display it properly.* They also admitted so many fans they couldn't all fit in the stands, so they let them sit on the warning track. I was apoplectic -- fans are allowed on the field of play during the game! I might have literally cried about it.
It turned out to be okay though. The integrity of all of baseball was not destroyed because some fans sat on the field during a regular season minor league game in Tacoma, Washington. And the fireworks show was cool: And this one is brought to you by Payless Drug Store... *Fffft*... Ooooh... *Boom*... Aaaaah....
*The joke was on us though -- the Cannons were the affiliate for our Mariners and the Tigers for the rival A's. The final score, something like 23-3, was a good indication of how thing were going to go for the two franchises over the next few years.
1993
Back at Cheney Stadium, this time with my friend JY. His dad had season tickets and sat near the same group of people every game. Two of them were an older Latino couple who dressed like vaqueros. The man had this bit where every time somebody said "hi" to him, he would reply, pointing to his beer, "not yet, this is my first one." I never thought it was particularly funny because I don't equate being "high" with alcohol. If he was smoking a joint, it would have worked better, but they didn't sell those at Cheney Stadium back then. They probably still don't today, but there is a big pot shop very close to it, so you never know.
There was this other guy we would see at games, who can be best described as the really-life Barney Gumble. Once JY commented on his 49ers ball cap and mentioned he wanted to buy his dad one like it for his birthday. So, Mr. Gumble took off his sweat-stained hat and offered it to JY, saying, "I'll sell you this one for $10." JY declined, and we later laughed at the thought of him giving his dad a nasty used hat from the town drunk as a gift. It was hilarious at the time, but like so many things that were funny at that age, the humor wanes as you get older and better understand the context. This dude was a serious alcoholic and needed help he never received. He later froze his cat to death by accidentally locking it in a freezer, and then he committed suicide shortly thereafter. Just a really sad story.
I don't remember what happened in the game that night. I think we left early with JY's brother and didn't even see the firework show.
1994
I rarely watched David Letterman back in the day. I never really thought he was that funny, and I still don't understand why so many people of my generation treat him like some sort of comedic god. But I did enjoy his show once in a while, and one interview that sticks out in my mind is this one. It's actually a pretty mean trick (and, again, not that funny), but I do like the performance at the end (14:00). I remember watching this in my friend SH's basement. It's one of those things where there's no good reason why I remember it -- it was nearly 30 years ago and not that interesting -- but I still do.
1997
It was my first summer back from college, and I went down to the waterfront in Tacoma to watch the firework show on Commencement Bay. It was an insane crush of people. But I was 19 and not that bothered by such things. I was hanging out with some guys who were more stereotypically jock-like than I typically palled around with. They were all using chewing tobacco, and they gave me some, and it made me nearly wretch, so I yelled "yuck!" and spit it out, and they all laughed at me. But I didn't care. I was like, "That shit is nasty, and you guys are nasty for using it."
That's the thing about peer pressure. It's not direct like you saw in after school specials. When I was coming of age, nobody ever said, like, "Hey, use this if you want to be one of the cool kids." Some people drank/smoked/chewed/what have you; some didn't. We would still all hang out together, and everybody was usually pretty cool with everybody else. The pressure, I think, comes from the fact that if you go to the party sober, you're just sitting there being bored, watching everybody else have fun, and that will tempt even the most iron-willed abstainers. It's more FOMO than peer pressure.
2000
I went to my friend DK's lake house, which was the worst place to go on the 4th if you cared about things like your skin. His sister's ex-husband used to toss packets of fireworks into the fire while you were sitting next to it. It was pure insanity. Once a Small Bee burnt a hole through my jeans and singed my leg hair. After that I went up and hung out on the deck away from open flame.
There was this guy who was always around the lake house, a neighbor, who did a bunch of stupid shit, and once he bought one of those big fireworks you see at shows, but he was too cheap to spring for the mortar to launch it properly. He tried to build his own by nailing four pieces of wood together, but there's a certain saying about a round peg and a square hole. After he lit it, it didn't come out of the "tube" cleanly, and only went about twenty feet in the air before plummeting into the lake. It then exploded like somebody was fishing with dynamite -- *BOOM* -- and all these sparks shot up out of the water.
The spectators were all a pretty safe distance away back on shore. But dude was out on the edge of a dock quite close to the explosion. If the firework had somehow landed back on the dock, he might have blown his leg off (or worse). As it was, the blast totally rattled his cage. It was perhaps the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed somebody do in person.
2003
I went to a party at a friend's house on Alki Beach, and it had a really strange vibe to it. I later found out my friend got really into cocaine for a little while and half the people there were coked out of their minds. It was basically two parties on top of each other, and I was in the less drug-addled one. Although, at one point, I was talking to this very attractive woman, actually making some progress, and my friend JW tackled me from behind for no reason and made me spill my beer all over myself and the woman (she didn't think it was cute), so it's not like either party was all that sober.
The highlight of the night was when this guy CK put some fireworks and matches in a waterproof bag, put on a wetsuit and swam out to a pontoon in the bay to put on a little show. This water is not warm or smooth, and it was super dark out, so a bunch of people were like, "Dude, don't go out there. It's not worth it." But I was cheering him on -- literally chanting his name. Perhaps not my best judgement, but he was fine, and the fireworks were cool. Kinda a badass move, to be honest.
2004
The next year, while en route to driving cross-country to go to grad school. I stopped by West Chester, PA to visit friends. My old roommate and dear friend from undergrad TB was moving out their with his fiancee SL (also my friend), but he wasn't there yet, so it was just me and SL and our other friend BH who had come out for a visit. BH also had a seriously boyfriend (now husband) who wasn't there, so it was me, a recently single man looking for a nice rebound, and two spoken-for ladies. It was a fun night though. At least I think it was. I don't really remember what we did. I think we drove around looking for a place that would sell us alcohol because Pennsylvania had (has?) very strange liquor laws.
Incidentally, BH later went on to become an MMA champion. She even had a few fights in UFC, but she was well past her prime at that point. I wonder how she's doing. I lost touch with her and her husband. I really liked them, but I was mainly friends with them through SL and another friend MM, the ex-wife of JW (the tackler from the previous year), and then after MM and JW got divorced, SL and TB also got divorced, and the whole shit changed. If you've ever had divorced friends, you know how it goes. I used to kinda keep up with everybody on Facebook, but then I quit Facebook because Facebook sucks. It was the right move, but now I just don't know what anybody is up to.
2005
I went to the firework show at the National Mall, and it was super fun. I was dating this woman in the English department, so we got together a little math crew and a little lit crew, and we all went out for drinks and dinner in DC and then the show on the Mall. I just remember feeling cool. It was kinda ironic, being that most the people there were huge nerds, but still...
I remember talking to this guy whose prize possession was some sort of limited edition copy of Richard Linklater's movie Slacker. He also was how I learned of the existence of Karl Pilinkgton, so I thank him for that. I can't remember his name. He kinda looked like the drawing on the cover of A Confederacy of Dunces, and he didn't actually go to UMD. His weirdo roommate was in the lit department. The roommate had the "nice guy" shtick going. He acted like super-progressive-feminist-man, but then he would obsess over women who were way out his league and cop an attitude when they inevitably rebuffed his creepy advances. He's the inspiration of an Onion-esque headline I thought up: "Self-Proclaimed 'Nice Guy' Actually a Total Asshole." Well, the girl I was dating at the time thought it was funny.
2011
This was the only 4th I've spent abroad. I was doing my postdoc in Australia. Unsurprisingly, there isn't much festivities over there to honor another country's independence day. It's all about Anzac Day over there.
2012-2018
Was there a 4th of July these years? When you have at least one child under the age of three, all the days just kinda blend together.
2019
I was lamenting the state of the union and recovering from slipping while doing box jumps -- sounds familiar.
Until next time...
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