The woes with kids sports continue this weekend. This time it's Lil' S2. He's signed up for baseball, and every time he has a game, it's a death-battle of the wills to get him to go. Weirdly, he'll go to the practices (somewhat) willingly, but he hates the games. Actually, he hates going to the games. Once he gets there, I see him interacting with the other kids and having fun, and sometimes, if we catch him in the right mood, he will admit after the fact that he had a good time. But I've come to dread game-day morning because I know it's going to be a knock-down drag-out fight to get him to participate.
I so regret signing him up for baseball in the first place. He never asked to play, but I wanted him to try a sport other than football, and a bunch of his friends play, so I asked him if he'd be willing to try it, and he said yes, even though he now says he never said that (more on that below). And the problems began when he didn't get a spot on the team with most his friends. He got put on a different team with one of his friends and one other kid from school he's friendly with. Then he got moved off that team onto a different team with nobody he knows.
I knew that that wouldn't do, so I contacted the commissioner of the league and requested that Lil' S2 be moved to a team where he at least has a few friends on it. The commissioner kinda dragged his feet on the whole thing, so I asked for a refund for league dues. The commissioner was cool about it and said I could have a refund, but that he would move Lil' S2 back to the team with his one friend if we wanted to stay in the league. I think part of the reason he did this is because I mentioned everything to the dad I coach flag football with, and this dad, who is a bigwig in this baseball league, probably said something to the commissioner on my and Lil' S2's behalf. I immediately wished I hadn't said anything to the dad, as I think he felt compelled to say something to the commissioner, even though that was never my intent -- I only reached out to him to get the commissioner's contact info. I even told him straight-up that I didn't want to put him in the middle of it, and that he didn't need to do anything about it, but I'm pretty sure he did anyway.
Regardless, at this point, a refund was still on the table. So, I went to Lil' S2, explained the situation, and asked him again if he wanted to try baseball, and again he said yes. I signed him up, and then, of course, when the season starts, he says he doesn't want to play and that he never agreed to it in the first place. This is an ongoing issue with him. He does this with many things, big and small -- baseball, guitar lessons, Mathnasium, getting a hair cut, taking a shower, etc. It drives S and I crazy. It's gotten to the point where S will record him agreeing to something, so that we can prove to him that he actually said yes. Not that it matters. He's a nine-year-old without a fully formed prefrontal cortex, not a Superior Court justice.
It has gotten to be a huge problem, though, because it makes it so hard to sign him up for anything, and it frequently puts us at odds with him, which also sucks. (Although the flip side of being nine is that you snap out of bad moods just as easily as you snap into them.) I'm definitely not going to sign him up for baseball again, but we still have this season to get through, and letting him quit would a) set a bad precedent; b) put us out the league dues (yes, I know, this is the sunk cost fallacy, but still); c) make me look kinda silly, given all the finagling I did to get him on this team. So, I'm trying to tough it out -- we've got, like, two games and four practices to go. I got him to agree to go to the game today through a combination of bribery and guilt-tripping, but we still have three hours until game time, so... who knows?
The ironic thing is that he recently started playing pick-up baseball after school everyday with his buddies. I asked him why he like playing baseball then, when he hates being on a team. He said it's because after school you get to pitch and hit and play a lot, whereas on the team you mainly just stand around the whole time. And I gotta say, this is a totally fair point. I love baseball, as much as I love any activity, but I concede, it can be very boring at times, especially if you're a Little League participant who doesn't play one of the few premium Little League positions (pitcher, first base, shortstop). I completely understand why a kid wouldn't want to spend two hours standing in right field or sitting on the bench just to get two at bats and maybe field a ball or two. The people who say baseball is ill-suited for today's youth are probably right.
To be honest, I don't think I loved playing organized baseball either. I mean, I must have liked it, because I willingly did it for many years, but when I think about the reasons I like baseball so much today, very few of them involve structured league games in which I played. The things I like most about baseball are the history, the bond with other fans, the numbers, the trivia. When it comes to playing, I had way more fun playing Wiffle Ball or pickup beer-league softball than I did playing anything official. So, it doesn't bother me in the least that Lil' S2 doesn't like playing organized baseball -- or rather it won't bother me a month from now when this godforsaken season is finally over.
Until next time...
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