S is out of the country for work again, so I'm on my own with the kids for the week. It's fine, but it's hard to keep their screen time down to a reasonable level. They both have access to so many devices, and I can't be on them constantly about it. Well, I can, but it would be a constant fight, and I wouldn't get anything done I need or want to get done. We all know a big appeal of screen time is that it's easier on the parents. Also, the weather has been terrible, even considering it's the end of November -- some combination of cold, blustery, and rainy -- so I can't send Lil' S2 outside, which is one of my go to moves. That's never worked for Lil' S1, however, as like he told me the other day when I suggested he bundle up and go for a walk, "I've never really liked going outside." Too true, too true.
I am a bit worried about his lifestyle, to be honest, as all he seems to want to do is be on his screens -- play video games on one device while watching other people play video games on another device -- and eat junk food. He'll do other things when we make him. He does his homework somewhat willingly (and gets decent grades), and he does swim team, but left to his own devices, it's just that... devices. He doesn't even seem to want to hang out with his friends that much. He's not proactive with them at all, and a lot of his social engagements are still engineered by S, mom-to-mom arrangements, and he's about to age out of that phase of life completely, if he hasn't already.
There is a lot of chatter these days about how our devices are allowing us, encouraging us even, to essentially opt out of society, which is making us lonely and miserable, and it's only going to get worse as AI gets better and more intrusive. We know the secret to life. It's not actually a secret. We know what makes us happy and satisfied: close meaningful relationships with other people. And yet all of the profit motives in technology right now are aligned to do the exact opposite. A lot of people are getting rich by keeping us isolated in their fake worlds. It's a battle to do see who can pull us in and keep us there the best. It's hard for me to fight, and I'm a middle-age man with an already fully formed brain, who grew up at a time when being bored was still a thing and running around the neighborhood with whatever other kids you could find was how you passed the time.* What do you do if you're an impressionable teenager who's never known any other upbringing, and who is already conditioned to be stimulated by technology every waking moment of the day?
*Thankfully, this is largely how Lil' S2 passes the time as well. We're fortunate in that there are three or four kids on our block who are close to his age. But more so it's a personality thing. Unlike his brother, Lil' S2 likes running around and shooting hoops and riding bikes and throwing a ball. Different kids; different interests; different problems. Lucky S and me, we get the gamut of child difficulties. Although, we don't have a girl, so maybe I shouldn't be too sarcastic. I've heard they're a whole different ball of struggles.
I don't mean that rhetorically. I mean it literally: What do you do? And what should we do as parents? When S gets back we will have to develop some sort of system to keep things in check. It might be no devices on school days or more requisite activities. I'm not exactly sure yet, but we gotta do something before these bad habits become even more entrenched. Parenting is weird thing. You want to cherish every moment you get with your children because you know how ephemeral it is, and yet you simultaneously cannot wait to come out the other end, when they are fully functional adults, and laugh at the things you used to worry about.
Anyway... as often happens, I set out to write about one thing and ended writing about something entirely different. I was going to write about Thanksgiving, but I'm almost out of time, so I'll just give you the abridged version. My sister came to town with her husband and two boys (20 and 17). My brother-in-law's parents live in Montgomery County, Maryland, so we were going to go to their house for Thanksgiving, but his mom came down with the flu earlier this week and had to cancel. Instead, we went to my brother-in-law's brother's house in Loudoun County, Virginia (a name that unfortunately makes me think of the 2021 Virginia gubernatorial race every time I hear it). It was a good time -- laid back, fun, filling. It was nice to my sister and her family, even if only super briefly. I wish she would have stayed longer, but their whole trip kinda got messed up.
The food was provided by Wegman's, and it wasn't bad, probably just as good as your typical homemade Thanksgiving dinner. I successfully avoided overeating and still ended up with an nontrivial case of indigestion. The problem is that Lil' S1 made a cherry pie, but he made it with maraschino cherries, which are already sugar-soaked, so it was cloying sweet, but for some reason I ate an entire piece anyway. I tasted maraschino creeping up my esophagus for the rest of the night, no matter how many Tums I consumed. Even just thinking about it now makes me wince a little bit. Next time it's a slice of pumpkin pie and maybe, maybe, a scoop of ice cream.
Alright, that's all for now. Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment