Entry 54: New Zealand Trip III (Queenstown)

Note: this is part three of a three-part post. To read the earlier entries click here.

[The founder of Queenstown William Gilbert Rees and his trusty sidekick, uh, Rammy.]

The plan, after hiking the Routeburn, was to stay in Queenstown for a day and then fly to Christchurch for a few days. In light of current events, however, that wasn’t happening. In fact, the hotel at which we were supposed to stay was (and still is, so far as I know) on the verge of collapse. Here’s a picture I pulled off the Web. The hotel is the tall building in the background.

[Earthquake-caused wreckage near the Grand Chancellor hotel]

So, we changed our plans and just stayed in Queenstown for an additional two days, which worked out great, because Queenstown is beautiful and there is a lot to do there. Also, we cut out a plane trip and half a day of travel by staying. I feel slightly guilty because our earthquake-caused “problems” meant that we had to spend another few days in a great city having fun, while for many inhabitants of Christchurch it means that they are without a home or without electricity or worse. But, what can you do?

In Queenstown, nearly every type of adventure activity you could ask for is available. Bungee jumping, sky diving, zip lining, jet boating, paragliding, so on and so on. They’ve got it all. Personally, I’m not much of a thrill seeker. It’s not a fear thing. It’s more of a the-payoff-doesn’t-seem-worth-the-effort-and-money thing. But, when in Rome…

T, S, and I decided to give jet boating a go (A and St were doing some sort of package adventure deal they had booked prior). Jet boating is pretty much just what you’d think it would be. You get into a jet powered boat (see below) and zoom around for twenty minutes. Because the boat doesn’t have a propeller, it can go in extremely shallow water. The drivers get ridiculously close to the rock walls of the river (the Shotover River as it were) and frequently do 360-spins. They also stop periodically to talk a little about the history of the river. It was once the sight of a major gold boom, and apparently, you can still find bits of gold in it. Our driver said that he personally panhandled there once and did OK. Overall, jet boating was pretty fun – a solid B.

[Some pics from the Web of jet boating on the Shotover River]

That night T and I went out for a few beers and were having a fine time until two very drunk “locals” decided to join us. One of them was a complete tool. The other one was actually alright, other than his suspect choice of drinking buddy. The tool was tolerable at first. He was kind of annoying, but also kind of goofy and funny. Very quickly, however, the funny wore off and the annoying being more pronounced. He crossed a line when he called Barack Obama a n------.

Me: C’mon man, you can’t use that word. It’s offensive.

Tool: To who?

Me: To me.

Tool: Why mate? You’re white. Just stating a fact. You’ve got a n------ president.

Me (to T): I’m leaving. I can’t sit here with this guy anymore.

T: Yes, let’s finish our beers and go. (We pound beers.)

Me (to Tool): I know you probably think you’re being funny, but you’re just being an asshole.

Tool: Yep, pretty much.

Me: I’m being serious. I think you’re an asshole.

Tool: Pretty much.

Tool’s Friend: Yeah, mate. Why do you do this?

Tool (to me): Sorry mate. (He puts out his hand to shake, looking sincerely penitent.)

Me: I’m not shaking your hand. You’re an asshole. I don’t want to shake your hand, and I don’t want to drink here with you. (T and I get up and leave.)

I was legitimately fired up from this incident when I left the pub, but thankfully I’m not the staying mad type. It was too nice of a night and I was in too beautiful of a place to stay pissed off about nonsense.

[Who could be mad in a place like this?]

Anyway, on to more pleasant topics.

The next day, all five of us rented a car (driven by yours truly) and set out for a cruise of Doubtful Sound. We wanted to go to the more famous Milford Sound, but it was a five hour drive as opposed to a two and a half hour drive. “Sound” apparently is an inapt term as both Doubtful Sound and Milford Sound are actually fjords in a part of New Zealand called (aptly) Fiordland.

We drove to a tiny town called Manapouri, where we took a shuttle boat to the Wilmot Pass. From there we boarded a tour bus (guided by a very unfunny old man who constantly tried to be funny) and explored the pass. There wasn’t much to see, because the weather, like our first day on the Routeburn Track, was rainy and foggy. The “highlight” of the bus ride was a tour through the Manapouri Hydroelectric Power Station.

[The inner workings of Manapouri Hydroelectric Station.]

[One of the few decent shots I got along the bus tour of Wilmot Pass near Doubtful Sound]

The views didn’t improve much once we got out on the sound. Gray weather is apparently very typical of Fiordland and our time there provided no exception. I wouldn’t have objected to a little more sun, but at least we got an authentic experience. We saw some interesting wildlife too. I’m certainly no ornithologist, but supposedly New Zealand is home to some really cool birds. (The coolest one, the moa, a 12-foot, 500-pound ratite, has been extinct for several hundred years, probably due to being overhunted.) At one point our boat pulled up very close to a small tree-covered island and the captain cut the engines so that we could “listen to the birds in their natural habitat”. It sounded a lot like the chirping I hear every morning outside my bedroom window. It was a little nicer though, because I wasn’t trying to sleep.

One funny thing about the cruise is that we were by far the youngest people on it. We were joking that when you're looking into booking an excursion the proprietors should have to provide you with the average age of past participants. I'm guessing for this one it would be somewhere in the mid-60s.

Also, on the drive back from the cruise a spontaneous game of hypothetical questions broke out. Here are some of the questions we posed.

If you could only pick one, would you rather have a child or have a life partner?

If you could only pick one for the rest of your life, would you pick kissing or sex?

If you could only pick one for the rest of your life, would you pick boobs or beer? (This one made T get embarrassed, which was quite funny.)

Would you give up all TV shows in any form (TV, online, DVD, etc.) for the rest of your life for $1 million?

Would you rather drink a glass of teriyaki sauce mixed with milk or eat a napkin doused in ketchup? (This one was mine, inspired by some real-life teenage events.)

Anyway, here are some pics from the cruise.

[Doubtful Sound]

[An albatross (the white speck in the middle) above Doubtful Sound]

[Somebody thought the Dread Pirate Roberts was following us. "Inconceivable!" I said.]

[Fiordland crested penguins]

[Some lazy-ass sea lions on a rock]

[One good thing about the rain, is that the waterfalls come out in full force.]

[A cool artsy shot of some old people taking a photo a waterfall (taken by S)]

The next day we all took the gondola up to the Skyline complex of Queenstown where we did a bunch of activities. My favorite was the zip lining. It was a lot of fun, and it seemed to be run by a good company. All the guides were funny and friendly and they put forth a message of eco-friendliness and sustainability.

[T zip lining upside down]

[A nice shot I took between the trees on one of the zip line platforms]

We also did this thing everybody called luging, but it seemed closer to soapbox racing to me. (You weren’t lying down, which I think is a necessary aspect of luging.) It was fun, but nothing special. I was annoyed because we only bought two runs and they made us do one of them on the beginner (i.e., sucky) track.

[A pic I got from the Internet of the "luge" course]

The last activity we did was paragliding. This is where you strap yourself to a dude with a giant parachute and jump off a cliff. It was pretty cool. It certainly provided some spectacular views. It was like at the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when the Wonkavator busts out of the factory and they are floating above the city. It was a little bit scary (you are dropping from hundreds of feet in the air after all), but not too bad. I think I would like activities like this more if I could do them myself. I don’t like having to go with a guide. It makes me feel awkward. Although, it’s probably better to have a guide, at least at first, so that I don’t, you know, kill myself.

[Some dude who paraglided before me]

Well, that was our trip to New Zealand.

[A final shot of the Queenstown waterfront]