The biggest joke of this whole thing is the fact that we were "pre-approved". What the hell does that mean? If we were pre-approved, then why is it taking so damn long to approve us? Shouldn't we have received the commitment letter immediately if we were pre-approved? In fact, if we were truly PRE-approved we should have received the letter before we even applied! I hate this type of advertising BS -- meaningless labels and enticements. The sad part is that it actually works. How else do you explain that the Green Bay Packers sold $440,000 worth of their "stock" in the first 11 minutes after it went on sale, even though the stock entitles you to nothing more than the piece of paper it's printed on? Basically, if you give the Packers $275 you can say you're a partial owner. You don't get any of the powers or compensation of a real owner, but you get to say you're an owner. And people are buying it! Nearly half a million dollars in 11 minutes! That's an unbelievable amount of money spent on something I figured out how to do free. Here's how you do it. Read carefully. "I'm a partial owner of the Green Bay Packers." See, it didn't cost me a thing. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
[Please send money. We could only afford to pay our field goal kicker 2.75 million this year!]
Speaking of stupidity, the Republican primary is maintaining it's high level of entertaining farcicality. I thought we might see a bit of a dip with Herman Clown out of the running, but nope, it's still going strong. Newt Gingrich has surged to the top of many polls, mainly because many Reps just don't like Mitt Romney. I'm not sure whom to root for in this. On one hand, Romney would be far preferable as a president than any of the other GOP hopefuls (which isn't saying much) if only because there's a 50-50 chance he'll be in agreement with you on an issue on any given day (as illustrated in the funny ad below). On the other hand, he probably would be the stiffest challenger to Obama, so I don't know whom to root for. I guess, I'll root for nobody and just watch, watch and laugh. If I don't laugh, I get depressed.
[I'm sure the counter to this from the Romney camp will be that it's a series of soundbites taken out of context. To which, I would say, "Please, by all means, look into the context behind these statements. That would be far more damning to Mitt than this 4.5 minute ad could ever be."]
The most depressing part is that whoever emerges from the mire could realistically be our next president. The economy sucks, many are out of work, and most people don't understand the nature of the recession well enough to realize that Obama has been kinda sorta not terrible on the economy, while the Republicans' economic plans are downright dreadful. Right now, most oddsmakers are leaning a little toward Obama being reelected (around 55-45), but it's probably going to be really close, which is scary. Actually, a small part of me hopes a Republican is elected president in 2012. And then I hope the GOP sweeps both houses of congress and puts all their awesome policies into place. This way everybody could see just what it would be like under their governance. It would be a great experiment. Of course, it's an experiment that would probably result in some pretty severe hardships for a lot of people, and one that would put our country on the complete wrong track, but I bet it would successfully prove my point that although things are bad now, the Republican vision is most certainly not the solution. (If only we could temporarily follow an alternate branch of the time-space continuum -- a la Marty McFly in Back to the Future II -- and then return to present day, and not elect a Republican, that would be ideal. Maybe we can get Warren Buffett to invest in R and D of the flux capacitor.)
[This is a scene from a hilarious episode of "The Simpsons" in which Homer runs for sanitation commissioner. His opponent, Ray Patterson, is voiced by Steve Martin. It's slightly less farcical than a Republican primary. (The quality of the recording isn't great, but the clip is funny.)]
[After Springfield is overrun with trash on Homer's watch, the city tries to get Ray Patterson to come back.]
In sporting news, it's a good time to be an NBA hater. (Ever since the Sonics were stolen from Seattle, I've followed the NBA only to root for its demise.) The end of the lockout was rough for me. I was really hoping the entire season would be lost, but what can you do? Recently, however, the NBA powers-that-be oddly nixed a pretty fair trade that would have sent Chris Paul to the Lakers. Many people are up in arms about this, some are even implying that NBA commissioner David Stern should resign. I think ultimately this whole thing will blow over, and the NBA will continue as usual (If a scandal involving game-fixing couldn't turn the fans away, what will?), but it's nice to enjoy the chaos and disgruntlement while it lasts.
In other, non-sporting news, I see this woman in my office building every now and then who has a mustache -- a thick one. I mean, not Lech Walesa thick,
but Adam Morrison thick,
which is very prominent for a woman. It got me thinking. Is there a bigger I-don't-care statement than a mustache on a woman? It seems like it would be a relatively easy thing to get rid of. From what I gather, electrolysis is not too expensive nor very painful these days (although supposedly it can discolor your skin, which doesn't sound too great). Also, there is waxing and creams and even just taking a razor to it. All of these have drawbacks, I understand, but it seems like you could come up with a system that would keep your upper lip hairless and wouldn't be very time consuming or intrusive. There's a big stigma attached to a woman having facial hair (I'm not saying this is a good thing, I'm just saying it is), so if a woman is rocking a 'stache, she must have some serious I-don't-give-shit-what-you-think in her (either that or she has an uncontrollable medical reason for it, in which case I'm an asshole for bringing this up). I certainly couldn't have one. I mean, I couldn't have the male equivalent of a female mustache (whatever that would be). I'm way too vain. And it would definitely bother me if S had a mustache. So I guess I'm vain and superficial. What can I say? Do I get points for being honest?
Well, until next week...
This entry was much too long to read, at least not without some colorful text. All this black text on white background hurts my 40-something year old eyes.
ReplyDeleteThe term "pre-approved" is an American corporate world con-artist b.s. term to make American booboisie think they have ALREADY been approved on their dream three bedroom exurban tract house off the interstate and behind the Wal-Mart mega-mall, when in fact it just means they have not yet been approved. It probably allows the mortgage company and/or bank to get some big tax write-off or additional bail out money, as necessary.
The GOP base is completely insane, and therefore, it will probably disobey the party establishment and nominate Gingrich, who apparently believes he is real-life incarnation of Hari Seldon, galactic psycho-historian and savior of humanity.
Lastly, you're somewhat vain but not at all superficial.
Always with the colorful text. I don't like colorful text, it's a blog, not a Christmas cookie.
ReplyDeleteBlack print on white background -- now there's a style you can set your watch to. If it's good enough for 99% of written word, it's good enough for me.