The darndest thing happened last Friday night while S and I were watching Game of Thrones*. She went into labor. At first she just felt a few sharp pains, which we didn't think much of, because the baby wasn't due for another two weeks, but they started happening more frequently, so we started wondering what was going on. We then had the following conversation about fifty times in a row.
Her: Owwwww....
Me: What?! What is it?!
Her: Ohhh... It hurts...
Me: What hurts?! Are you having contractions?! Are you in labor?!
Her: I don't know. I don't know what labor feels like. Owwwww... It's just a pain.
Me: What type of pain?! A labor pain?!
Her: I DON'T KNOW! I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LABOR BEFORE!!!!
So, we did what any couple would do. We ignored them to see they would go away. When they didn't, we started timing them, and then we Googled "labor pain". Her symptoms were almost perfectly in sync with those of Braxton-Hicks contractions, so I thought this was just a bout of "pre-labor", something that -- if the Internet is to be believed -- a lot of women experience a few weeks before giving birth. The pains persisted though, so S called her OB who sent us to the hospital.
Turns out we weren't alone in being unable to diagnose S's discomfort. The nurse practitioners couldn't figure it out either. Something was definitely going on, but the symptoms weren't those of a typical labor. The pains weren't becoming more frequent, and they were seemingly less intense and originating in a different spot than expected if she was in labor (the front as oppose to the back). It had everybody buffaloed, so they kept us there until S's OB could get there at 7 a.m. Being that it was currently 12:30 a.m., we had some waiting to do.
S was writhing on the hospital bed, confused and in pain, but the real victim here was me. I had to sleep on a small vinyl sofa, in a freezing cold room, in shorts and a t-shirt, with nothing but a woman's Northface fleece as cover. Not only that, but I had to listen to somebody moaning in agony every few minutes. Sure, I could mostly drown it out with my headphones, but still it was pretty uncomfortable. It took me a solid 20 minutes to fall asleep.
When I started to awaken, the OB was in the room, and in a way-too-early-morning daze, I heard her say the following, "These just don't seem like labor contractions. I think that I'm going to send you guys home. If things get worse, you'll have to come back, but right now I just don't see what else we can do." Right then S had her most intense contraction, the doctor checked her cervix, and said, "Forget everything I said. You're having a baby in about an hour." And with that, a C-section was scheduled (the baby was breech, something we'd known prior), and S started being prepped for surgery. "Goddamn," I thought, "This is it."
The C-section was pretty typical as far as I could tell. The medical staff chatted among themselves during the procedure ("You know, snorkeling isn't very fun for me. Once you've been scuba diving, snorkeling is such a step down."), which I found very calming, actually. You want surgery to be no big deal to the people performing it. S was anesthetized and shivering uncontrollably, a side-effect of the drugs. I was on the other side of the curtain, holding S's hand trying to drink in the surreality of it all. Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" came on radio, and it seemed like an apropos song for some reason.
Since I'm Caucasian and S's is Indian, we were especially curious to see if our kid would come out white or brown. Neither. He came out purple. Since birth, he's turned more peach / pink, so he looks like a little white baby. In fact, I don't think you'd even guess he has any Indian blood in him at all. My hunch is that is that as he gets older he'll get more brown, and his Indian features will show more prominently, but who knows? And who cares? As long as he's healthy. And he is healthy -- a little undersized, probably due to coming out early, but nothing to worry about.
We had to stay at the hospital for three nights instead of the customary one night, because of the C-section, but it wasn't bad. I've heard horror stories about awful hospital stays, but ours wasn't like that at all. The opposite in fact. We were treated more like customers in a nice hotel than we were like patients (of course, we were paying for the "private room", $300 a night out-of-pocket, so we should have been treated this way). Everybody was friendly and helpful and they took Lil' S (that's what I'm calling our baby on this blog) to the nursery at night so that we could get some much needed shut-eye. I have no complaints about the staff at Sibley hospital in DC.
The only person I didn't like isn't at Sibley, she's the lactation consultant at our pediatrician's office. She was very passive-aggressively pushing her no-formula agenda, even though the doctor specifically told us to supplement Lil' S's feedings with some formula to bring his weight up, since S probably wouldn't be producing a ton of milk right away. When we explained this to her, she was very dismissive of the doctor saying that his weight was only down because of the C-section (her explanation was that in a vaginal birth, fluids are squeezed out of the baby that aren't during a C-section, so C-section babies lose this fluid post-birth which is why they don't gain weight as quickly), and that giving him formula would just "make him think he has two mommies".
Look, I get it. Breast milk is really good for babies, and this woman's entire job revolves around extolling its virtues. But I don't understand what she would have us do. Defy doctor orders and deprive our son of sustenance? I know there are many great things about breastfeeding, but let's not get carried away. I know several kids who were fed formula almost exclusively, and you know what's wrong with them? Nothing. If you took 100 random kids, 50 who were breastfed, and 50 who were formula fed, and mixed them up, could anybody identify which set was which, based on their health and/or personality? I sincerely doubt it.
Plus, this woman didn't seem to understand the meaning of the word "supplement," she kept telling us that giving Lil' S a bottle would prevent S's milk from coming in as quickly. But if she's breastfeeding / pumping just as much as she would be otherwise, I don't see how S's body would know we're giving Lil' S formula. Anyway, I just didn't care for this woman's attitude. Especially since S is now producing a good amount of milk and we've been feeding Lil' S breast milk exclusively for the past few days, just as we had planned all along.
Whew! Who knew a lactation consultant could get me so fired up?
Alright, I think I've just about stretched my free time to the limit. I'm surprised S hasn't called me for anything yet (she actually calls me on my phone, even though we're in the same house, since she's not supposed to raise her voice). I'd better go see if she needs any help.
Until next time...
*I think we're out on this show, by the way. We didn't really enjoy the second season. I agree with this article wholeheartedly.
Her: Owwwww....
Me: What?! What is it?!
Her: Ohhh... It hurts...
Me: What hurts?! Are you having contractions?! Are you in labor?!
Her: I don't know. I don't know what labor feels like. Owwwww... It's just a pain.
Me: What type of pain?! A labor pain?!
Her: I DON'T KNOW! I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LABOR BEFORE!!!!
So, we did what any couple would do. We ignored them to see they would go away. When they didn't, we started timing them, and then we Googled "labor pain". Her symptoms were almost perfectly in sync with those of Braxton-Hicks contractions, so I thought this was just a bout of "pre-labor", something that -- if the Internet is to be believed -- a lot of women experience a few weeks before giving birth. The pains persisted though, so S called her OB who sent us to the hospital.
Turns out we weren't alone in being unable to diagnose S's discomfort. The nurse practitioners couldn't figure it out either. Something was definitely going on, but the symptoms weren't those of a typical labor. The pains weren't becoming more frequent, and they were seemingly less intense and originating in a different spot than expected if she was in labor (the front as oppose to the back). It had everybody buffaloed, so they kept us there until S's OB could get there at 7 a.m. Being that it was currently 12:30 a.m., we had some waiting to do.
S was writhing on the hospital bed, confused and in pain, but the real victim here was me. I had to sleep on a small vinyl sofa, in a freezing cold room, in shorts and a t-shirt, with nothing but a woman's Northface fleece as cover. Not only that, but I had to listen to somebody moaning in agony every few minutes. Sure, I could mostly drown it out with my headphones, but still it was pretty uncomfortable. It took me a solid 20 minutes to fall asleep.
When I started to awaken, the OB was in the room, and in a way-too-early-morning daze, I heard her say the following, "These just don't seem like labor contractions. I think that I'm going to send you guys home. If things get worse, you'll have to come back, but right now I just don't see what else we can do." Right then S had her most intense contraction, the doctor checked her cervix, and said, "Forget everything I said. You're having a baby in about an hour." And with that, a C-section was scheduled (the baby was breech, something we'd known prior), and S started being prepped for surgery. "Goddamn," I thought, "This is it."
The C-section was pretty typical as far as I could tell. The medical staff chatted among themselves during the procedure ("You know, snorkeling isn't very fun for me. Once you've been scuba diving, snorkeling is such a step down."), which I found very calming, actually. You want surgery to be no big deal to the people performing it. S was anesthetized and shivering uncontrollably, a side-effect of the drugs. I was on the other side of the curtain, holding S's hand trying to drink in the surreality of it all. Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" came on radio, and it seemed like an apropos song for some reason.
Since I'm Caucasian and S's is Indian, we were especially curious to see if our kid would come out white or brown. Neither. He came out purple. Since birth, he's turned more peach / pink, so he looks like a little white baby. In fact, I don't think you'd even guess he has any Indian blood in him at all. My hunch is that is that as he gets older he'll get more brown, and his Indian features will show more prominently, but who knows? And who cares? As long as he's healthy. And he is healthy -- a little undersized, probably due to coming out early, but nothing to worry about.
We had to stay at the hospital for three nights instead of the customary one night, because of the C-section, but it wasn't bad. I've heard horror stories about awful hospital stays, but ours wasn't like that at all. The opposite in fact. We were treated more like customers in a nice hotel than we were like patients (of course, we were paying for the "private room", $300 a night out-of-pocket, so we should have been treated this way). Everybody was friendly and helpful and they took Lil' S (that's what I'm calling our baby on this blog) to the nursery at night so that we could get some much needed shut-eye. I have no complaints about the staff at Sibley hospital in DC.
The only person I didn't like isn't at Sibley, she's the lactation consultant at our pediatrician's office. She was very passive-aggressively pushing her no-formula agenda, even though the doctor specifically told us to supplement Lil' S's feedings with some formula to bring his weight up, since S probably wouldn't be producing a ton of milk right away. When we explained this to her, she was very dismissive of the doctor saying that his weight was only down because of the C-section (her explanation was that in a vaginal birth, fluids are squeezed out of the baby that aren't during a C-section, so C-section babies lose this fluid post-birth which is why they don't gain weight as quickly), and that giving him formula would just "make him think he has two mommies".
Look, I get it. Breast milk is really good for babies, and this woman's entire job revolves around extolling its virtues. But I don't understand what she would have us do. Defy doctor orders and deprive our son of sustenance? I know there are many great things about breastfeeding, but let's not get carried away. I know several kids who were fed formula almost exclusively, and you know what's wrong with them? Nothing. If you took 100 random kids, 50 who were breastfed, and 50 who were formula fed, and mixed them up, could anybody identify which set was which, based on their health and/or personality? I sincerely doubt it.
Plus, this woman didn't seem to understand the meaning of the word "supplement," she kept telling us that giving Lil' S a bottle would prevent S's milk from coming in as quickly. But if she's breastfeeding / pumping just as much as she would be otherwise, I don't see how S's body would know we're giving Lil' S formula. Anyway, I just didn't care for this woman's attitude. Especially since S is now producing a good amount of milk and we've been feeding Lil' S breast milk exclusively for the past few days, just as we had planned all along.
Whew! Who knew a lactation consultant could get me so fired up?
Alright, I think I've just about stretched my free time to the limit. I'm surprised S hasn't called me for anything yet (she actually calls me on my phone, even though we're in the same house, since she's not supposed to raise her voice). I'd better go see if she needs any help.
Until next time...
*I think we're out on this show, by the way. We didn't really enjoy the second season. I agree with this article wholeheartedly.
Thank god the doctor checked her cervix before sending you home. My labor pains weren't really typical either and had I waited until I "couldn't talk or walk" as suggested, I would have been calling the doctor about 3 mins before having to push. That's wonderful her active labor was so "mild" (although I'm sure it didn't feel that way to S).
ReplyDeleteAnd I have a friend who is white with an Indian husband and her two boys definitely look Indian. I saw her the day baby was born and since I was surprised he looked so pink I asked her what her boys looked like as newborns and she said, "they darken up." So it'll be fun to see how he changes over the next few months.
Congrats again!!!
Oh and Fuj and I loved your "is it labor conversation."
ReplyDeleteThanks K Fuji. It's going well so far. We will have to Skype with you guys soon.
ReplyDelete