Every week I jot down a few topics to discuss on this blog. Typically I'll have about five new things on my list by the time I actually sit down to crank out an entry. Of those five, I actually discuss about one of them every two weeks. This means, of things I set out to talk about, I don't get around to 90% of it. (You can spare me the "If I'm reading your best 10%, I'd hate to see what the other stuff looks like" jokes.) Inevitably, what happens is, right before I start an entry, I think of another random topic, and since that's the one freshest in my mind, that's the one I write about.
So it goes again today. This morning I read this article, which is so absurd, I can't not discuss it. Other topics be damned. If you don't want to read the article, I'll give you an overview. It's about the plight of an Orthodox Jewish woman who can't get divorced. Well, she can. In fact, she did, legally -- she got divorced in California over seven years ago -- but her "husband" refuses to grant her a "get", the document needed to officially end a marriage in Orthodox Jewish law. So religiously they remain married. But there's a catch. Due to a loophole in their religious dogma, he was able remarry, but she is forbade from taking another husband until he officially releases her, which, by the way, he won't do because he's a colossal prick (or so I infer) and is holding out for a half million dollars. Until he get's paid, forever a spinster she will be.
All I have to say to this is who ... wha ... I ... just ... you mean ... why ... not ... uh ... er ... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! This whole story just makes no sense to me. I cannot possibly fathom why somebody in the USA in 2014 -- a time and place when we have more personal freedoms than any other society at any other point in recorded history -- would abide by these arcane "laws". That goes for everybody involved -- her, her husband, her friends, her family, her temple. Everybody. What is wrong with you? What are you doing?
It's like they're all playing a big game of hot lava. Somebody a thousand years ago declared the ground was on fire, so now they all walk around outside with fireproof stilts and jump from piece of furniture to piece of furniture when they get home. And if, heaven forbid, somebody looks around, sees all the other people using the ground (without burning up) and decides "I'm gonna start using the ground too" they become a pariah and get ostracized by everybody else in their community. It probably seems like I'm exaggerating for effect, but I'm really not. I defy anybody to tell me how the scenario I just laid out is fundamentally different from the one in the article.
The difference, of course, is that we're conditioned to accept religious hooey as something other than, well, hooey. If people behave irrationally in the name of faith, we as a society give their actions far more credence than they deserve. And when we don't do this -- when we actually call bullshit bullshit -- there is a significant portion of the population who accuses us of waging a "war on religion" or some other such nonsense. (Remember the "religious freedom" brouhaha over that anti-gay Arizona bill a few weeks?) If you think you're an aggrieved party of this anti-religious crusade, here's a test: Keep being religious, but stop acting like an idiot. Then see how many people are still "warring" against you.
I've come to the conclusion that religion is a lot like masturbation: Done privately -- alone or with other consenting adults -- it can be a wonderful, life-changing thing. Otherwise it's very intrusive to others. And it can really weird people out.
Religion and jack-off jokes -- I'm getting dangerously close to plagiarizing Bill Maher. I had better switch topics.
Lil's S is doing really well. A few days ago, I took him to his 18-month checkup, which was tortuous -- two kids had to be triaged ahead of us because they were having asthma episodes,* so we waited two hours to see the doctor -- but ultimate we got some good news. He's moved up from the 3rd percentile in weight at his last checkup to the 25th percentile. Directly, this is only good news for S, as I was never worried about his weight. But indirectly, it's good news for me too. You know, happy wife, happy life, and whatnot.
We figured out the secret to getting him to gain weight: Meat. He can devour some cold cuts (particularly salmon) like it's nobody business. I'm obviously okay with him eating meat, since I meat. And S has come around on it too. Her kidatarianism trumps her vegetarianism many times over. If meat is the only protein our kid will eat regularly, so be it.
He's learning a bunch of new words now, which is cool, and he's also becoming a little hellion, which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, I want him to get into roughhousing and sports and stuff like that because I'm into these things, so we could have something in common. But his energy level is relentless, and his body is developing faster than his brain, so he's constantly getting himself into precarious positions that he needs help getting out of. (He doesn't yet understand "no", which adds to the challenge.) I'm also slightly apprehensive about being the type of dad who pushes him into athletics too much; I want him to be make up his own mind about things. I wasn't worried about this until I had the following conversation with S a few days ago.
S: [As she's stopping him trying to climb onto our mantle by standing on the very top of a chair while he's holding a mini basketball] Ugh ... He is turning into such a little dude.
Me: Do you think we're socializing him to act this way to some degree?
S: Yes! Well ... you are. I'm not.
Me: How am I doing it?
S: You bought him like ten balls, and now they're all he wants to play with.
Me: Yeah, but I let him play with whatever he wants. I don't make him.
S: You encourage him.
Me: I encourage him with whatever he chooses to play with. He just always wants a ball. It's not my fault.
S: Babe, you bought him a full sized Wiffle Ball bat before he could even walk!
Me: ... ... You have a point.
And with that, I'm through.
Until next time ...
*"Sucks to your ass-mar". Can you name the book this quote comes from?
So it goes again today. This morning I read this article, which is so absurd, I can't not discuss it. Other topics be damned. If you don't want to read the article, I'll give you an overview. It's about the plight of an Orthodox Jewish woman who can't get divorced. Well, she can. In fact, she did, legally -- she got divorced in California over seven years ago -- but her "husband" refuses to grant her a "get", the document needed to officially end a marriage in Orthodox Jewish law. So religiously they remain married. But there's a catch. Due to a loophole in their religious dogma, he was able remarry, but she is forbade from taking another husband until he officially releases her, which, by the way, he won't do because he's a colossal prick (or so I infer) and is holding out for a half million dollars. Until he get's paid, forever a spinster she will be.
All I have to say to this is who ... wha ... I ... just ... you mean ... why ... not ... uh ... er ... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! This whole story just makes no sense to me. I cannot possibly fathom why somebody in the USA in 2014 -- a time and place when we have more personal freedoms than any other society at any other point in recorded history -- would abide by these arcane "laws". That goes for everybody involved -- her, her husband, her friends, her family, her temple. Everybody. What is wrong with you? What are you doing?
It's like they're all playing a big game of hot lava. Somebody a thousand years ago declared the ground was on fire, so now they all walk around outside with fireproof stilts and jump from piece of furniture to piece of furniture when they get home. And if, heaven forbid, somebody looks around, sees all the other people using the ground (without burning up) and decides "I'm gonna start using the ground too" they become a pariah and get ostracized by everybody else in their community. It probably seems like I'm exaggerating for effect, but I'm really not. I defy anybody to tell me how the scenario I just laid out is fundamentally different from the one in the article.
The difference, of course, is that we're conditioned to accept religious hooey as something other than, well, hooey. If people behave irrationally in the name of faith, we as a society give their actions far more credence than they deserve. And when we don't do this -- when we actually call bullshit bullshit -- there is a significant portion of the population who accuses us of waging a "war on religion" or some other such nonsense. (Remember the "religious freedom" brouhaha over that anti-gay Arizona bill a few weeks?) If you think you're an aggrieved party of this anti-religious crusade, here's a test: Keep being religious, but stop acting like an idiot. Then see how many people are still "warring" against you.
I've come to the conclusion that religion is a lot like masturbation: Done privately -- alone or with other consenting adults -- it can be a wonderful, life-changing thing. Otherwise it's very intrusive to others. And it can really weird people out.
Religion and jack-off jokes -- I'm getting dangerously close to plagiarizing Bill Maher. I had better switch topics.
Lil's S is doing really well. A few days ago, I took him to his 18-month checkup, which was tortuous -- two kids had to be triaged ahead of us because they were having asthma episodes,* so we waited two hours to see the doctor -- but ultimate we got some good news. He's moved up from the 3rd percentile in weight at his last checkup to the 25th percentile. Directly, this is only good news for S, as I was never worried about his weight. But indirectly, it's good news for me too. You know, happy wife, happy life, and whatnot.
We figured out the secret to getting him to gain weight: Meat. He can devour some cold cuts (particularly salmon) like it's nobody business. I'm obviously okay with him eating meat, since I meat. And S has come around on it too. Her kidatarianism trumps her vegetarianism many times over. If meat is the only protein our kid will eat regularly, so be it.
He's learning a bunch of new words now, which is cool, and he's also becoming a little hellion, which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, I want him to get into roughhousing and sports and stuff like that because I'm into these things, so we could have something in common. But his energy level is relentless, and his body is developing faster than his brain, so he's constantly getting himself into precarious positions that he needs help getting out of. (He doesn't yet understand "no", which adds to the challenge.) I'm also slightly apprehensive about being the type of dad who pushes him into athletics too much; I want him to be make up his own mind about things. I wasn't worried about this until I had the following conversation with S a few days ago.
S: [As she's stopping him trying to climb onto our mantle by standing on the very top of a chair while he's holding a mini basketball] Ugh ... He is turning into such a little dude.
Me: Do you think we're socializing him to act this way to some degree?
S: Yes! Well ... you are. I'm not.
Me: How am I doing it?
S: You bought him like ten balls, and now they're all he wants to play with.
Me: Yeah, but I let him play with whatever he wants. I don't make him.
S: You encourage him.
Me: I encourage him with whatever he chooses to play with. He just always wants a ball. It's not my fault.
S: Babe, you bought him a full sized Wiffle Ball bat before he could even walk!
Me: ... ... You have a point.
And with that, I'm through.
Until next time ...
*"Sucks to your ass-mar". Can you name the book this quote comes from?
Coming from the mother of a kid who all-of-the-sudden loved anything vehicle related he could get his hands on after playing with some toy cars at a friend's house at 9mos of age despite neither of his parents having the least bit of interest in anything transportation related, I say there's a helluva lot more nature happening at this stage than nurture.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I certainly couldn't "nurture" my little brother into liking sports. But I tried.
ReplyDelete