For part one, click here.
Friday, November 28
Other than a 30-minute, after-dinner constitutional around the lake, I don't go outside at all today. It's Black Friday. There is no better day to stay home. I hate shopping with a normal crowd, let alone throngs of people beating each other with pots and pans and other hard objects from the home furnishings aisle to get that last $50 tablet (or at least that's how I assume things goes down). But S's family is pretty into it, so I'm the only adult at the house for much of the day. Part of it is that they're all into shopping; another part of it is that they're Indian, and I think there is some sort of ordinance in the Indian community that mandates that you must constantly be on the look out for deals at all times. Deal talk is a large part of the conversation among S's family and their friends. I know this is mainly a Jewish stereotype, but I've found that it applies to Indians as well -- it's versatilely racist.
One thing that S's family does that I find funny is they buy things for other people -- not like as a gift, but as a I-have-access-to-a-sale type of thing. For instance, S's cousin's wife bought 10 comforters. When I asked why, she said it's because they're only $10 a piece. When I followed up by asking what she was going to do with them all, she said that some of them were for friends back home. OK, not something I would do, but cool, I guess. I can't imagine procuring blankets for my friends. Honestly, I can't even imagine having a conversation about it. How does that go down? Do your friends say to you, "Hey if you see any cheap duvets, keep me in mind?" Or do you see cheap duvets and just think of certain friends?
Anyway, because I'm the only one who doesn't like shopping, I spend much of the day as the de facto baby sitter. I don't mind because I like playing with Lil' S and his two little cousins (second cousins, technically) A and Sh. A is in, I'm gonna say, fourth grade or so, and Sh is around Kindergarten-age, so they are significantly older than Lil' S, but he does his best to keep up with them. They're all really into being chased, so much of our time together is me chasing them, which I enjoy -- for the first 20 minutes or so at least. After that I'm like, "Let's sit down and play this game called crossword puzzle. Quick Lil' S, who's 'Broadway star Hagen'?" Actually, A really likes playing Family Feud on the iPad, and Family Feud is my favorite game show (as long as it's being hosted by John O'Hurley and not Steve Harvey or that flanneled guy from Home Improvement), so that was a thankful respite from the little kid whirlwind.
One thing that can be really tiring is that A and Sh bicker constantly (what? siblings bickering?); they are always pushing each others buttons in ways they think are sneaky, but are, of course, completely obvious. Also, Lil' S occasionally gets too excited and bites somebody (and often that somebody is me), or just goes berserk and starts throwing things and hitting people. At one point, he hits A with some of those big block Legos -- not hard, but hard enough that I have to address it -- so I give him a timeout and tell him he has to be gentle. And then I ask, "Do you know what gentle means?" And he says yes, and then runs over to Sh and hugs her and says, "Saw-wee". The execution is off, but at least he has the right idea.
Actually, come to think of it, I'm not the only one who doesn't go shopping. S's dad is home with me pretty much all day. I forgot about him because he doesn't have the energy or patience to keep up with the young 'uns. He spends most the time in his office playing that powers of two game on his iPad. At one point the kids all go in there and after about three minutes he says, "C'mon! Can't you give me some break!", which I find amusing because I've just been entertaining them all for the past hour. But I get it. He's old, he's already raised two kids, and he's worked hard to pay for everything around us. I might be the same way when I'm that age ... but probably not.
Saturday, November 29
The big event for the day: breakfast at IHOP. S's family doesn't go out to eat very often, so when they do, it can be an amusing experience. Here are the highlights.
After breakfast, we do some more lazing around the house, and then I head back to Blacksburg to see E and F and Lil' E again before driving back to DC.
Friday, November 28
Other than a 30-minute, after-dinner constitutional around the lake, I don't go outside at all today. It's Black Friday. There is no better day to stay home. I hate shopping with a normal crowd, let alone throngs of people beating each other with pots and pans and other hard objects from the home furnishings aisle to get that last $50 tablet (or at least that's how I assume things goes down). But S's family is pretty into it, so I'm the only adult at the house for much of the day. Part of it is that they're all into shopping; another part of it is that they're Indian, and I think there is some sort of ordinance in the Indian community that mandates that you must constantly be on the look out for deals at all times. Deal talk is a large part of the conversation among S's family and their friends. I know this is mainly a Jewish stereotype, but I've found that it applies to Indians as well -- it's versatilely racist.
One thing that S's family does that I find funny is they buy things for other people -- not like as a gift, but as a I-have-access-to-a-sale type of thing. For instance, S's cousin's wife bought 10 comforters. When I asked why, she said it's because they're only $10 a piece. When I followed up by asking what she was going to do with them all, she said that some of them were for friends back home. OK, not something I would do, but cool, I guess. I can't imagine procuring blankets for my friends. Honestly, I can't even imagine having a conversation about it. How does that go down? Do your friends say to you, "Hey if you see any cheap duvets, keep me in mind?" Or do you see cheap duvets and just think of certain friends?
Anyway, because I'm the only one who doesn't like shopping, I spend much of the day as the de facto baby sitter. I don't mind because I like playing with Lil' S and his two little cousins (second cousins, technically) A and Sh. A is in, I'm gonna say, fourth grade or so, and Sh is around Kindergarten-age, so they are significantly older than Lil' S, but he does his best to keep up with them. They're all really into being chased, so much of our time together is me chasing them, which I enjoy -- for the first 20 minutes or so at least. After that I'm like, "Let's sit down and play this game called crossword puzzle. Quick Lil' S, who's 'Broadway star Hagen'?" Actually, A really likes playing Family Feud on the iPad, and Family Feud is my favorite game show (as long as it's being hosted by John O'Hurley and not Steve Harvey or that flanneled guy from Home Improvement), so that was a thankful respite from the little kid whirlwind.
One thing that can be really tiring is that A and Sh bicker constantly (what? siblings bickering?); they are always pushing each others buttons in ways they think are sneaky, but are, of course, completely obvious. Also, Lil' S occasionally gets too excited and bites somebody (and often that somebody is me), or just goes berserk and starts throwing things and hitting people. At one point, he hits A with some of those big block Legos -- not hard, but hard enough that I have to address it -- so I give him a timeout and tell him he has to be gentle. And then I ask, "Do you know what gentle means?" And he says yes, and then runs over to Sh and hugs her and says, "Saw-wee". The execution is off, but at least he has the right idea.
Actually, come to think of it, I'm not the only one who doesn't go shopping. S's dad is home with me pretty much all day. I forgot about him because he doesn't have the energy or patience to keep up with the young 'uns. He spends most the time in his office playing that powers of two game on his iPad. At one point the kids all go in there and after about three minutes he says, "C'mon! Can't you give me some break!", which I find amusing because I've just been entertaining them all for the past hour. But I get it. He's old, he's already raised two kids, and he's worked hard to pay for everything around us. I might be the same way when I'm that age ... but probably not.
Saturday, November 29
The big event for the day: breakfast at IHOP. S's family doesn't go out to eat very often, so when they do, it can be an amusing experience. Here are the highlights.
- S's cousin asks the waitress more questions about the menu than I asked our broker about our mortgage contract: "This 'Pick 2', that's two of what? ... Three flavored pancakes -- is that three pancakes each one of a different flavor? ... Is there egg in the roasted red pepper omelet sandwich? ... "
- S's mom orders an omelet with nothing in it but jalapeno peppers and then eats it with hot sauce.
- S clandestinely pays the bill and everybody gets mad at her when they find out.
- I notice under the table that S's cousin is wearing those individual toe shoes that I made fun of in a previous entry. I hate it when I find out somebody I like or respect is doing something that I previously mocked.
- And my personal favorite: S's cousin's wife orders a single pancake -- not a single stack of pancakes, but a single, solitary pancake. This cracks me up now just thinking about it -- very reminiscent of Chris Rock's famous scene in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka.
After breakfast, we do some more lazing around the house, and then I head back to Blacksburg to see E and F and Lil' E again before driving back to DC.
In Blacksburg, F is out of the hospital and in good spirits which is nice. She stays home with Lil' E and let's E and I go out again for dinner and a beer. Unfortunately, it's not Monday this time, it's the weekend, so we have to deal with the throngs of undergrads out about town. We go to one place, but it's too crowded, so we go to a different place, which seems decent -- and is, at first. We get a table that's in an enclave with another empty table. It's essentially one long table with a foot gap in it. I recognize that this is a risky proposition -- who knows who might sit down next to us? -- but it's the only open two-person table.
We then promptly lose the co-patron roulette. Instead of getting a nice, quiet couple who keeps to themselves, we get a group of seven bros who all try to cram around a table that seats four, max. And these aren't just your typical bros, these are some of the bro-iest bros who ever bro-ed -- just drunk, loud idiots (and I say this knowing full well that I've been the drunk, loud idiot before). They are so loud that I literally can't hear E, even though he himself has a booming voice and his mouth is only 18 inches from my ears. All I can hear is an obnoxious 21-year-old holding court on what makes a good IPA ("You can't be too IPA. Most breweries try to be too IPA, and it ends up tasting like hoppy shit..."). We can't just leave either because we already ordered food, so we just have to make the best of it. I wasn't planning on spending my evening among a bunch of college dudes toasting each other with lines like "fuck her right in the pussy" -- I actually just wanted to have a beer and some conversation with E -- but so it goes.
Back at E's, we watch a few episodes of this British sitcom Peep Show. It's certainly no The Office, but it's pretty funny. It's really weird, in a good way.
Sunday, November 30
We all wake up pretty early (two-year-old, remember), and Lil' E and I goof off together a bit before we go out for breakfast. He's so behaved during breakfast I can't believe it. He just sits there and eats his pancakes the entire time. E says he's hit or miss, which is better than Lil' S who is miss or miss. There is a 0% chance Lil' S will sit still in a restaurant for longer than five minutes without an iPhone or an iPad or a screen of some sort, so watching a kid his age do so is mind-boggling.
Breakfast is over a little before 10, and I'm on the road back to DC immediately. It's a nice drive actually. I keep waiting to hit traffic, but I never do. I make great time (back before halftime of the early games), and most importantly, I do not get a speeding ticket.
And that was my vacation.
Until next time ...
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