Is there a better time to reminisce than the holidays? Yes, there is -- high school reunions, for one -- but the holidays are definitely in the top-10. So for this entry, I'm going to relay an anecdote and a song from five ghosts of Christmas past. They aren't necessarily the best or the most interesting Christmases I ever had -- just ones I remember for some reason. It's a slice-of-life thing.
1987
In 1987, my parents bought a cassette called A Very Special Christmas featuring various big-name artists of the day -- Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, The Pointer Sisters, etc. -- singing Christmas songs. I remember listening to it ad nauseum on a little hand-held tape recorded. This was back when people still bought cassettes, of course (remember when supermarkets like Safeway had a little electronics section where you could buy tapes and videos?), but the more profound difference in musical consumption between then and now is that back then everybody was listening to more or less the same thing. A Very Special Christmas went Quadruple Platinum, and I remember talking about it at school with my friends -- I was in third grade. I can't imaging elementary school kids caring about a Christmas album today, not when they can battle each other online with their accessorized avatars and whatnot.
The only other thing I remember from this Christmas is that we made ornaments out of clay, and with the leftovers my dad and I made a weird, gross-looking replica of a human brain that creeped my sister out. So, of course, I put it in a shoebox, and wrapped it up and put it under the tree for her, "From: Santa". When she noticed it, she sized it up, shook it, and said to me, "You put that brain in here, didn't you?" I said I didn't, but the prank was completely spoiled.
1993
This was perhaps my most miserable Christmas. I was 16, and as you might know, that can be a pretty miserable time, in general -- especially so when you are experiencing your first heartbreak. There was this girl at school name JP whom I started hanging around with as part of a new little group we had going on. She was really kind, but also irreverent, mouthy, and raunchy -- the perfect combination for teenage me.
Initially it was my friend JHP who had a crush on her, but then she liked my other friend JY, so it was this awkward, very-high-school love rectangle. Eventually JHP tired of waiting for her and turned his attention to her more-available friend LN, and they started "going together". Then JP tired of waiting for JY (who, despite being able to attract girls in droves, was terrible at making a move for some reason). And that meant I was the only one left. Perfect. By the way, being the only one left, is not such an awful dating strategy. I once heard a guy on This American Life say that anybody can hook up on any night, if they follow two basic rules: 1) Don't give up; stay at the bar until it closes, 2) Significantly lower your standards.
But anyway, JP and I were officially boyfriend and girlfriend for two days before she dumped me sometime in mid-November. I was still carrying the torch big time at Christmas. So I spent a decent part of the Yule season driving around in my sister's Chevrolet Cavalier, with no place to go, listening to Elvis' Blue Christmas, and thinking, "This is so me."
By the way, I'm now Facebook friends with JP. She got fat.
2002
I was living on the east side of Capitol Hill, in DC, on winter break from The George Washington University, at the time. My friend DK had lived in Atlanta the past year, but was moving back to Seattle. He drove up to DC and picked me up, and then we drove cross-country together. It was a relatively short trip -- I think we did it in four days -- and it was fun. But 100 hours straight in a confined space with another human being with whom you aren't having sexual relations ... let's just say I was happy when I finally saw the Space Needle the morning of Christmas Eve.
It looked sketchy for a while too. We were somewhere in eastern Montana when we hit a snow storm, and had to pull over and wait it out for the night. To make matters worse, we had just taken these really strong caffeine pills (brilliant, I know) as our plan was to not stop until we reached Missoula, which was still five hours away.
So we ended up shacked up together in a hotel room with a single bed somewhere near Billings revved out of our minds. To makes matters even worse, the caffeine pills made DK nauseous, so he was vociferously throwing up in the toilet of our bandbox hotel room. I remember lying on the bed with my head spinning, unable to even think about sleep, listening my buddy yak approximately five feet from me, thinking, "Dear Lord, don't let me spend Christmas this way." The next morning the snow had stopped and the highway was plowed. Maybe prayer really does work. Or maybe snow flurries are a very common weather phenomenon, and municipalities in places like Montana know how to respond appropriately. It's impossible to say which.
2004
This was a rare Christmas for which my parents came to the East Coast to celebrate. I was in my first year at UMD and living in an absolute sty* with four other dudes in Greenbelt, MD. My parents visited me and then left to see other family in New York state. I was going to drive up, as well, a few days later. However, a massive snow storm came through, and I decided not to risk it. I spent Christmas day completely alone -- and happy. All my roommates were gone for the first time ever, and I just vegged out on the sofa, drank red wine, and watched college football. Huh ... I remember watching Hawaii beat Alabama-Birmingham in the Hawaii Bowl on Christmas Night, but that game was actually played on Christmas Eve. Another example of how sports helps set the record straight.
*My original place fell through and left me scrambling for somewhere, anywhere to live before classes started. This place was awful, and I think for two weeks, I lived with an actual drug dealer. Thankfully -- for lack of a better word -- he got into a minor physical altercation with another roommate who went to the police, and an agreement was reached whereby no charges would be pressed if he (the drug dealer) moved out immediately.
2013
It's weird that I can remember details from a Christmas that happened almost 30 years ago, and yet I literally couldn't remember what I did on Christmas last year. Or maybe it's not weird. Apparently, I didn't do much. I have a feeling this year will be the same. One thing that is cute though is that Lil' S is learning to sing Christmas songs. Most recently, I heard him doing a line from Feliz Navidad: "I 'ant 'ish you ... Mare-wee Kwiss-mass." It's adorable. Underrate song too, Feliz Navidad. I feel like it doesn't get it's full due.
Well, until next time...
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