I'm depressed. I don't mean this in the clinical sense; if I went to see a therapist I doubt he or she would diagnosis me with the mood disorder commonly referred to as depression. I mean I'm feeling down in the dumps. I've got a case of the blues. I've got FoMO, which seems a bit a silly to write, but it's true.
S is at the wedding of a good friend that I couldn't attend. She took Lil' S2 and her mom with her, so it's just me and Lil' S1. I'm looking at her pictures on FaceBook, and I really wish we could be there with her. It certainly doesn't help that the wedding is in beautiful Santa Barbara, and I'm stuck in D.C. -- which apparently now stands for Dagobah Climate, as it has been wet and dreary the past two weeks straight. Spring is supposed to the nice season in D.C. Pretty soon it's going to be triple digits and disgusting here. If it is going to rain now, during our prime weather season, things are going to be tough.
Then to make things worse, the entire reason I couldn't attend the wedding is because I was going to be short on leave because we were planning on going to the Outer Banks next month. So getting screwed over on that trip, also indirectly screwed me over on this wedding trip. I totally could have gone. But by the time this actually dawned on us, ticket prices were extremely expensive and there were no "convenient" flights. I use quotes because there is really no such thing as a convenient cross-country flight; it is a matter of degree of inconvenience, but when you are traveling with a small child, this degree matters a great deal. So I'm stuck at home in thunder storms, while my wife puts up pictures of the sunny beach.
Also, my 20-year high school reunion is this summer, and I really want to go, and I can't. As bad luck would have it, it falls on the only date of the entire summer on which I already have plans. I'm going with some buddies to see Ken Griffey Jr. get enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. Now, obviously this should be fun in its own right, but I'm mainly going to spend time with friends I don't see very often, and had I known the reunion would be on the same date, I would have tried to make plans to do something else with these friends on a different date.
Although even if I wasn't going to Cooperstown, it would still be a pain to go to my reunion because it's the third week in July, and we are going to visit my family in early August. I don't think moving the trip date up is realistic for S's schedule and the schedule of some of my family members, so I would either have to fly out just for the weekend and fly out again a few weeks later, or I would have to stay out there for like a month, which probably wouldn't go over too well with work or with S and the kids. Basically, the reunion falls on the worst possible weekend for me. If I could just push it back a week (or even better two weeks), everything would work out perfectly. *Sigh*... C'est la vie, I suppose.
And, yes, I am aware that there are people who have real problems. Many people are unemployed or stuck in dead-end jobs or in unhappy relationships or have serious medical problems. If my biggest complaints in life are that I missed one wedding and that I can't go to one fun event, because I have plans to go to a different fun event, then I must be doing okay. But the thing about that is that I have disproportionate concern about my problems, because, you know, they are my problems. I mean, it's good to have perspective, but I don't think people can make themselves feel better by thinking about other people who have it worse. Feelings just don't work that way.
Anyway... This bad weather is also limiting my options with Lil' S1. Yesterday there was a birthday party for one of his friends, so that was a good way to spend a few hours. There was a magician there, who was really lame, even by doing-birthday-parties-for-four-year-olds standards, but the kids still seemed to enjoy it, so whatever.
Today I took the little guy to the gym and then we got lunch, which killed some time. But we still have a good six hours left before he goes to bed, and he doesn't nap anymore. Eh... We will figure something out. I could get in touch with my friend RB, she's been implying that she wants to do something, but she's tricky. Mostly she's a great person to hang out with, but a nontrivial percentage of the time she gets into a funk where every conversation is steered back to how she's lonely and wants a husband and kids and feels like it's slipping away, and pretty soon she's going to be too old, and so on. That's fine if we're at a bar and there are no kids around and I have beer (and preferably a sporting event on in the background for a distraction when needed), but with Lil' S1 climbing all over me, it's a tough conversation to have.
Plus, she does this weird thing where she'll text me with the vague implication that she wants to do something, but she will never actually try to make plans. Here's an example:
RB -- This looks cool: [link to an event at a nearby brewery]
Me -- Yeah, looks pretty cool
And then that's the end of the exchange. Here's another one from today:
RB -- When does S get home? What are u guys doing?
Me -- S comes home Tuesday. We just got back from a little father-son lunch. Now we're just chillin'.
RB -- Cool
And that's it. What am I'm supposed to do with this? I think what's going on is she wants to hang out, but for some reason she wants me to be the one to make the plans and ask her. But I don't want to do that. If I wanted to do that then I would just do that without any prompting. It's a weird (and kinda annoying) idiosyncrasy. Like at the end of her first text, why doesn't she say "Any interest?" or something like that. And at the end of her second text, why doesn't she say "Want to hang out?" Those are perfectly acceptable questions to ask, and the answer might be "yes." I might be down to do something, but I'm not going to be down to initiate something, when I'm not even completely sure what that something is supposed to be.
Alright, Lil' S1's show is about to end, and although I'm tempted to just let him watch TV all day, I'm not going to do that -- good parenting, see. Oh, and by the way, on the off chance you read this RB, please know that you are a wonderful person, and I very much value your friendship. I just don't know what to do with your weird, passive text messages -- that's all.
Until next time...
S is at the wedding of a good friend that I couldn't attend. She took Lil' S2 and her mom with her, so it's just me and Lil' S1. I'm looking at her pictures on FaceBook, and I really wish we could be there with her. It certainly doesn't help that the wedding is in beautiful Santa Barbara, and I'm stuck in D.C. -- which apparently now stands for Dagobah Climate, as it has been wet and dreary the past two weeks straight. Spring is supposed to the nice season in D.C. Pretty soon it's going to be triple digits and disgusting here. If it is going to rain now, during our prime weather season, things are going to be tough.
[D.C. these days]
Then to make things worse, the entire reason I couldn't attend the wedding is because I was going to be short on leave because we were planning on going to the Outer Banks next month. So getting screwed over on that trip, also indirectly screwed me over on this wedding trip. I totally could have gone. But by the time this actually dawned on us, ticket prices were extremely expensive and there were no "convenient" flights. I use quotes because there is really no such thing as a convenient cross-country flight; it is a matter of degree of inconvenience, but when you are traveling with a small child, this degree matters a great deal. So I'm stuck at home in thunder storms, while my wife puts up pictures of the sunny beach.
Also, my 20-year high school reunion is this summer, and I really want to go, and I can't. As bad luck would have it, it falls on the only date of the entire summer on which I already have plans. I'm going with some buddies to see Ken Griffey Jr. get enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. Now, obviously this should be fun in its own right, but I'm mainly going to spend time with friends I don't see very often, and had I known the reunion would be on the same date, I would have tried to make plans to do something else with these friends on a different date.
Although even if I wasn't going to Cooperstown, it would still be a pain to go to my reunion because it's the third week in July, and we are going to visit my family in early August. I don't think moving the trip date up is realistic for S's schedule and the schedule of some of my family members, so I would either have to fly out just for the weekend and fly out again a few weeks later, or I would have to stay out there for like a month, which probably wouldn't go over too well with work or with S and the kids. Basically, the reunion falls on the worst possible weekend for me. If I could just push it back a week (or even better two weeks), everything would work out perfectly. *Sigh*... C'est la vie, I suppose.
And, yes, I am aware that there are people who have real problems. Many people are unemployed or stuck in dead-end jobs or in unhappy relationships or have serious medical problems. If my biggest complaints in life are that I missed one wedding and that I can't go to one fun event, because I have plans to go to a different fun event, then I must be doing okay. But the thing about that is that I have disproportionate concern about my problems, because, you know, they are my problems. I mean, it's good to have perspective, but I don't think people can make themselves feel better by thinking about other people who have it worse. Feelings just don't work that way.
Anyway... This bad weather is also limiting my options with Lil' S1. Yesterday there was a birthday party for one of his friends, so that was a good way to spend a few hours. There was a magician there, who was really lame, even by doing-birthday-parties-for-four-year-olds standards, but the kids still seemed to enjoy it, so whatever.
Today I took the little guy to the gym and then we got lunch, which killed some time. But we still have a good six hours left before he goes to bed, and he doesn't nap anymore. Eh... We will figure something out. I could get in touch with my friend RB, she's been implying that she wants to do something, but she's tricky. Mostly she's a great person to hang out with, but a nontrivial percentage of the time she gets into a funk where every conversation is steered back to how she's lonely and wants a husband and kids and feels like it's slipping away, and pretty soon she's going to be too old, and so on. That's fine if we're at a bar and there are no kids around and I have beer (and preferably a sporting event on in the background for a distraction when needed), but with Lil' S1 climbing all over me, it's a tough conversation to have.
Plus, she does this weird thing where she'll text me with the vague implication that she wants to do something, but she will never actually try to make plans. Here's an example:
RB -- This looks cool: [link to an event at a nearby brewery]
Me -- Yeah, looks pretty cool
And then that's the end of the exchange. Here's another one from today:
RB -- When does S get home? What are u guys doing?
Me -- S comes home Tuesday. We just got back from a little father-son lunch. Now we're just chillin'.
RB -- Cool
And that's it. What am I'm supposed to do with this? I think what's going on is she wants to hang out, but for some reason she wants me to be the one to make the plans and ask her. But I don't want to do that. If I wanted to do that then I would just do that without any prompting. It's a weird (and kinda annoying) idiosyncrasy. Like at the end of her first text, why doesn't she say "Any interest?" or something like that. And at the end of her second text, why doesn't she say "Want to hang out?" Those are perfectly acceptable questions to ask, and the answer might be "yes." I might be down to do something, but I'm not going to be down to initiate something, when I'm not even completely sure what that something is supposed to be.
Alright, Lil' S1's show is about to end, and although I'm tempted to just let him watch TV all day, I'm not going to do that -- good parenting, see. Oh, and by the way, on the off chance you read this RB, please know that you are a wonderful person, and I very much value your friendship. I just don't know what to do with your weird, passive text messages -- that's all.
Until next time...
Cheer up charliiiiiieeeee.....
ReplyDeleteHa! Good one. Thanks.
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