Quarantine has been messing me up physiologically in two ways: 1) I'm eating worse; 2) I'm sleeping worse. I'm able to mitigate the former by exercising a lot -- I do a strenuous workout almost every day.* The latter is more difficult to manage. I've never been great at sleeping. The only time I'm able to get the amount of sleep my body requires is when I'm able to sleep in until at least 10 am. And I can probably count on my fingers the number of those days since I became a father.
*My regimen, if you are wondering, is to take virtual Krav Maga (shadow boxing and calisthenics) Monday, Tuesday, and Friday; go for a long run on Wednesday; take a "boot camp" class (weights and calisthenics) on Thursday; go for a long hike Saturday or Sunday; rest/recover the other day.
It's even worse now. Without the responsibility of needing to be awake and alert to get my kids to school or get myself to the office, I'm gradually pushing my bedtime back further and further. It's now past 12:30 am and sometimes later than that. Two nights ago I went to sleep around 2:00 am. The problem with this, of course, is that I'm still waking up at the same basic time, because the kids wake me up. My mindset is, "Who cares? I'm barely leaving the house today." I know that that's a bad way to think -- I still need to work and there is inherent benefit in just not being tired all the damn time -- but it's a difficult thing to change. I can do it for a night or two, but then I slide right back into my familiar ways.
To makes matters worse, my anxiety levels have been a lot higher than usual because of the virus. (Haven't everybody's?) There's no real end is sight, even if we've decided as a country to open up and just pretend like things are better now. It also doesn't help to consume true crime podcasts right before I go to bed and try to sleep. The other night I listened to a 30 for 30 about this biathlete from the '80s, Kari Swenson, who was abducted while trail running by a son and father, in some sort of demented, troglodytic attempt to capture a bride for the son. She escaped only after getting shot in the chest and watching a friend, who had come to rescue her, get shot in the head and killed. It's a fascinating story, and it ends on something of a positive note -- she survived and the men were ultimately brought to justice -- but it's not the best material to put one's mind at ease. That night I had a dream that I was trapped in a coffin-like box with an IV attached to keep me alive to maximize my suffering. The tenor of the dream wasn't actually as terrifying as it sounds (I can't image a worse thing in real-life), but it was definitely weird and unsettling.
Speaking of weird and unsettling, how about the fact that Joe Biden is the only thing standing between sane people and four more years of our petty, incompetent, wannabe-tyrant president? I still think Biden was the best choice from a less-than-stellar Democratic field, and I haven't lost all hope that he could win in November (anti-Trumpism might carry the day, no matter what), but, my goodness, the man just doesn't instill much confidence. I think his latest gaffe with Charlemagne the God will blow over pretty quickly, but it's definitely cringe-inducing. It reminds me of the Quentin Tarantino video below. But, the thing is, like Quentin Tarantino, I don't think Joe Biden's stock will fall that much will black people. Many, I suspect, even agree with his sentiment, if not the clumsy way he conveyed it.
[This video would be much funnier without the subtitles trying to be funny.]
The allegations of sexual assault again Biden by Tara Reade are much more troubling. I haven't said much about this before now, because I didn't really know what to say. I still don't. I don't have a strong opinion on the matter. That's a bizarre thing to say about such a serious matter, I know, but I don't feel like I have enough knowledge to form a strong opinion. I don't think anybody does (with the exceptions of Biden and Reade, of course), and I don't think anybody ever will. The dearth of evidence makes it virtually unknowable. The best we can do is guess and speculate and that's not very satisfying, and maybe not even appropriate.
What I will say is that I am still quite comfortable voting for Biden in November, especially given his opponent. I mean, if you want to turn this election into a referendum on women's rights, well, it's not even a contest. But, you can say that about literally every issue, as far as I'm concerned.
Until next time...
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