I'm trying a new thing this post-Halloween season: a total abstention from candy. I sneaked a few of the kids' pieces while trick-or-treating, but it wasn't even that good, so I made a pact with myself to just not eat it at all. That's the thing about candy -- it's never as satisfying as I want it to be, and paradoxically this makes me desire it more. It's like the drug addict who takes hit after hit trying to reach an unattainable high. At least in the case of candy, the worst thing that will happen to you if take too much is a tummy ache -- well, in one sitting, that is. There are all sorts of deleterious long-term health effects that can arise from ingesting too much candy. That's precisely why I'm not eating it now.
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Tuesday was election night, and it was a pretty lousy one if you live in (or near) Virginia, and you're not a Republican. The Red Team ran roughshod over the Blue Team, winning every major race (governor, lieutenant governor, attorney general, etc.) in a state Biden carried by ten points. There are many reasons why this is the case, but the main one, in my opinion, is burnout, plain and simple. The past year was just so mentally draining for left-leaners, dealing with Covid and Trump, and it was too much to ask to get up for another huge election, especially one in which the Democratic gubernatorial candidate's two biggest issues were Covid and Trump -- just about every commercial he ran was focused on one of these things, and it was exhausting, even for me, somebody who probably has a very high tolerance for politics relative to the general voting population. A lot will be read into what this sweep in a blue-ish state means for the 2022 midterm elections, and there probably are lessons to be learned for the Dems, but I'm not totally sure what those are.
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Lil' S1 takes weekly spelling tests, and, despite being a strong reader, he's always been a terrible speller. He got, like, 20% on his first few tests. S was working with him without much success and getting frustrated. So, a few weeks ago when she went out of town, I decided enough is enough! -- I put him on my patented program, and his last three scores have been 73%, 87%, and 93%. Boom!
He's my master technique: I tell him the words and he has to spell them until he gets them all correct. That's it. S was messing around with flashcards and word searches and that jazz, but it's like nope. Maybe that stuff works for some people, but in my experience the best way to memorize something is to sit there and process it over and over and over, tediously, monotonously, until you get it right.
I think there is value in that too, outside of getting a better score on a spelling test, because that's how you get good at a lot things. You train yourself to have the discipline to do something repeatedly even if it's not super exciting. I stand by it: There is a lot of value in rote memorization.
The only problem is that I put more parenting on my plate because now S wants me to do all the homework with the kids.
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A few weeks ago my kids met some neighborhood kids up the street, and now they play together almost every day. Their names are J and Iz. J is five and Iz is seven. (My boys are now six and nine.) Like clockwork they will come down and bang on our door (and window) at 6:00pm. Can we play? Can we play? Can we play? It's super cute. But I think it's hard on Lil' S1 sometimes. He's older than them, and he also likes to structure play his way, so I think he expects them to go along with what he wants to do, but they don't always want to do that, so they kinda band together to push back, and then he feels ganged up on and gets mad and starts crying and then it turns into a full-on little kid fight.
It actually goes much more smoothly when it's just J, Iz, and Lil' S2. So, whenever I hear the fighting really escalate, I try to extricate Lil' S1 from the situation, and we have a conversation like the following.
Him: [Screaming, crying, calling everybody names]
Me: Hey, come here.
Him: No!
Me: Yes, come here. I want to talk to you. You're not in trouble, but you will be if you don't come here. [He reluctantly comes.] What's going on?
Him: They locked me out of the toy room!
Me: Why'd they do that?
Him: Because I told them we were having a fort building competition but then J kept coming in before it was ready and I said that's illegal in this game and then Iz said it's illegal to talk to the government and I said "That's not illegal. Are you saying you can't say 'hi' to the president?" and then she just kept saying it was illegal and then Lil' S2 traded her my legendary because he said I gave it to him but I traded it back and he said I couldn't do that because Avva and Thatha bought it for me...
Me: Okay, okay, I get it. You're not getting along right now.
Him: Because they're being mean to me. They're making me feel left out.
Me: They're all younger than you. They just want to play differently. Why don't you just stay over here for a little while and read a book or something?
Him: No! I want to play!
Me: Why do you want to play with them if they're being mean and excluding you?
Him: I'm going to go play with them.
Me: [Shakes head]
The funny thing about Lil' S1 is that he has no bravado. I never would have let on at that age that younger kids were making me feel left out, even if that's how I felt. But that's just his way. He's like that with everything. The other day he didn't want to watch a movie Lil' S2 wanted to watch because he said it looked too scary. I asked him why it's too scary for him, but not for his brother who's three years younger.
"Because I take after Amma, and he takes after you," he replied.
Fair enough, kid, fair enough.
Until next time...
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