Entry 197: Date Afternoon (Why Do So Many Movies Suck?)

The in-laws are in town for a while, well, actually it's S's mom and her aunt, her dad left this morning.  It's nice when they come because they help out with cooking and watching the little guy.  (Oh, and also it's good to see family just to see them, too.)  Today they gave us the chance to have a "date afternoon" at the movies, and being that it was ostensibly a celebration of my birth (I turned 36 last week -- thank you, thank you -- it's good to not be dead yet), I got to pick the movie.  So I started browsing the listings, and every time I do this I'm amazed at how much garbage there is, even though I thought the exact same thing the time before.  It's like you can't actually know how bad the movie selection is unless you're actively looking at it.*  Here was the selection, as best I can recall.

• A movie in which Ethan Hawke's wife is kidnapped, so he has to do a heist as ransom, but he gets carjacked by a cute young woman (you know, because for a lot of cute young women carjacking is the only way to make money -- if only she was a young, inner-city, black male she could get a job as a coffee barista or restaurant hostess), and this young woman gets involved.  This simply isn't my type of movie.  I prefer movies that aren't of the obviously-suck genre.
• Some movie about the making of boy band I had never heard of.  Pass, obviously.
• Lee Daniel's The Butler.  As I joked on Facebook, this movie should be called "Holy crap!  That guy looks old now!"  Remember when John Cusack was the eternally fresh-faced, loveable lead?  Apparently eternity only lasts about 15 years.  Alan Rickman looks like he's starring in a sequel to cocoon, and when I saw Cuba Gooding Jr., I thought Ossie Davis had been resurrected.  I wouldn't have a ton of interest in seeing this movie if it was getting rave reviews.  With lukewarm reviews, I'm definitely out.

[Cuba Gooding Jr. in Lee Daniel's "The Butler".]

• A remake of Star Trek XXXVIII and the zombie movie du jour.  No and no.
• A comedy in which a man (a man!) has to take care of a little kid.  I'm living this premise right now, and it is funny, but almost certainly not for the reasons portrayed in the movie.
• Another comedy starring Jason Sedakis.  What's the batting average for SNL cast members' movies over the last 20 years?  I'm just playing the odds by avoiding this one.       
• Jobs.  I almost pulled the trigger one this one.  I really wanted to watch an Ashton Kutcher train wreck.  I've had it out for Kutcher ever since I saw an interview in which he was complaining about the paparazzi and all those Us Weekly-esque, crappy magazines making money off his image without him getting a cut.  If Sean Penn were making this point, fine, but Ashton Kutcher?  He should be kissing the paparazzi and praising all those crappy magazines plastering his image everywhere.  That's the only reason he's famous.  He's an atrocious actor whenever he has to play a role that's not a caricature of a dumb person.  He's the male version of Heidi Klum, somebody that doesn't quite get the distinction between good looks and talent (being a straight male I give Klum a bit of more of a pass).  But, I didn't pick Jobs, mainly because S didn't want to see it, but also because I was worried Kutcher would just be boring bad, not train wreck bad.  Or worse... he'd be really good.
• All the movies at the local indie theater.  They all looked long and depressing.  I make fun of Hollywood blockbusters, but I've seen plenty of bad indie movies.     

So it was none of the above.  I decide to go with The World's End, the third of the Simon Pegg / Nick Frost / Edgar Wright movies.  It was risky choice -- I hated Shaun of the Dead and never saw Hot Fuzz -- but it ended up being a decent one.  It was fine.  Nothing great, but enjoyable.  A solid, fun, summer watch.  I asked S if she liked it, and her response was, "Yeah... Well... I mean... It was OK.  It was probably the best of all our options."  My thoughts exactly.

OK, now it's time to go watch something that will hopefully be mind-blowingly awesome, Breaking Bad.  I'm preparing myself for a let down.  I mean, eventually one of these last episodes has to be a stinker, right?  I don't know.  I hope not.

Until next time...

*It doesn't help that this happens to be a horrendous dry spell for movies according to the movie review Bald Bryan of the Adam Carolla Show.