The ol' trick back is acting up again. It happens. I think it's one of those things I'm just going to have to manage for the rest of my life. I don't think it's ever going to be "better". I've been to the doctor probably, I dunno, six or seven times total over the last 20 years about it and nobody can do anything for me. Or I should say, nobody can do anything for me to fix it permanently; they give me tips and activities (and sometimes drugs) for making it bearable, but never a cure. I started doing DDP Yoga which has helped a lot, and it's been feeling pretty good lately except for one spot. I have a charley horse-feeling in the lower right part of my back that has been nagging me for over a month. To make matters worse, every now and again I'll contort the right wrong way, and a sharp pain will emanate from that spot and just shoot up my spine. It sucks.
*Speaking of which, this The New Yorker article about a clinic in Kansas that essentially became an unchecked drug dispensary is interesting if you've 20 minutes to kill.
[Sitting all day (at a desk, not a piano) is probably a big part of the problem.]
I finally broke down and went to the doctor again, even though I was pretty sure it would be the same old routine. What made me go was this story on This American Life in which a guy mentioned that his dad had what he thought was a pinched nerve, but it turned out to be cancer. Then I thought about that movie 50-50, and then I started thinking about what would happen to Lil' S if I died young, and then I decided to get it checked out. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and my son persuaded me to see a doctor.
And I'm glad they did. It's very likely not cancer, which is good. The doctor thought I might have a kidney stone, but my pee said otherwise. It's probably the same thing it's always been -- a bad back. It just happens to be manifesting itself right now in a more painful and localized way than usual. But the reason I'm glad I went is because the doctor gave me some anti-inflammatories that have been helping with the discomfort. Also, I found this new clinic that's not too much of an inconvenience. It's just a normal hassle instead of a super-hassle. I can handle a normal hassle.
The doctor also gave me some muscle relaxers, but I haven't taken any yet and probably won't. I'm not that into numbing pain meds. Either they don't really work (I once drove all the way to South Carolina from DC after taking two muscle relaxers) or they make me nauseous. Unless the pain is excruciating I usually just toss them. If I ever become a drug addict, it's not going be from popping pills.*
[This is one of those scenes where my recollection of it is different than what actually goes down. In my head he says "It's not a toomah!" once very emphatically. In the scene, he says it twice not too emphatically and adds "at all" at the end. Here's a kinda interesting link about misquoted movie lines. This line isn't misquoted, but it's said differently than how I remember it.]
In other news, this article on why people with kids go M.I.A. has been making the rounds on Facebook. Usually I'm not big on the whole "people without kids can't possibly understand" mindset that some parents get into, but I thought this particular article really hit the nail on the head. There were two points in particular that I didn't fully appreciate until I became a parent: 1) The kid's schedule is more important than one would think, 2) "Just bring the kids" is an option. But it is one that sucks. On the latter point, a wise man once said, "I realized the real reason parents with toddlers don't go anywhere except to specifically kid-oriented establishments. It's not fun." And that wise man was me, five weeks ago in this blog entry. Maybe I should write for HuffPo.
Reading this also made me realize that you can really help yourself when it comes to having kids by being smart about when you have them. If you value things like free time, sleep, and less stress you should, if possible, wait until you have a committed partner and a steady income before you start riding bareback. I don't think these things make you a better parent or make your child develop in a superior manner or anything like that. It just makes things easier on you. For instance, S and I outsource a lot of our chores -- we pay to have our house cleaned top to bottom once a month, and twice a year we have landscapers come out to do yard maintenance. These are huge time savers that I couldn't justify spending money on if, say, I was still a student. Also, since S and I live in the same house and are both around at night, we can take turns going out after he goes to sleep if there is a social event (assuming we have the energy). If it's a friend's birthday or something special like that, we usually try to arrange it so that one of us can go. And very rarely we will get a sitter. I can only think of two times we've had a non-family member watch him so that we could got out.
There is, however, an obvious downside to having kids late -- you're that much older than you would be otherwise. The older you have children the fewer number of years you have to spend with them and with their potential offspring. That's just a fact -- a slightly morbid fact, but a fact nonetheless. And the years are less likely to be "prime" years. If everybody has a kid at 25, you're a grandparent by 50. If you push this back to 35, it's 70. My energy level has dropped substantially from 25 to 35, and I imagine it will be even worse from 50 to 70. So, you know, it's all about tradeoffs.
Reading this also made me realize that you can really help yourself when it comes to having kids by being smart about when you have them. If you value things like free time, sleep, and less stress you should, if possible, wait until you have a committed partner and a steady income before you start riding bareback. I don't think these things make you a better parent or make your child develop in a superior manner or anything like that. It just makes things easier on you. For instance, S and I outsource a lot of our chores -- we pay to have our house cleaned top to bottom once a month, and twice a year we have landscapers come out to do yard maintenance. These are huge time savers that I couldn't justify spending money on if, say, I was still a student. Also, since S and I live in the same house and are both around at night, we can take turns going out after he goes to sleep if there is a social event (assuming we have the energy). If it's a friend's birthday or something special like that, we usually try to arrange it so that one of us can go. And very rarely we will get a sitter. I can only think of two times we've had a non-family member watch him so that we could got out.
There is, however, an obvious downside to having kids late -- you're that much older than you would be otherwise. The older you have children the fewer number of years you have to spend with them and with their potential offspring. That's just a fact -- a slightly morbid fact, but a fact nonetheless. And the years are less likely to be "prime" years. If everybody has a kid at 25, you're a grandparent by 50. If you push this back to 35, it's 70. My energy level has dropped substantially from 25 to 35, and I imagine it will be even worse from 50 to 70. So, you know, it's all about tradeoffs.
OK, that's all I got ... Oh wait, I'll give you all a quick update on how things are going with me, my mother in-law, and the little guy. Well. They're going well. S gets back on Monday. I'm interested to see how Lil' S responds to seeing her in person again. If it's anything less than total rapture followed by him running into her open arms while screaming "amma!", she's going to be disappointed ... so she's probably going to be disappointed. I don't think he's forgotten her or anything think that, but kids this young do have out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentalities. My guess is that he's going to need a little warm-up period before he completely embraces her like he did before she left. But, I could be wrong. Like I said, it will interesting.
Until next time...
*Speaking of which, this The New Yorker article about a clinic in Kansas that essentially became an unchecked drug dispensary is interesting if you've 20 minutes to kill.
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