There is a nebulously defined term in football "system quarterback." It's supposed to mean a quarterback who is not that good, but who succeeds anyway because the system he is in makes him look better than he really is. It's really a dumb phrase (as many sports phrases are), because everybody who ever succeeds at anything is a "system [that thing]." Nobody succeeds outside of their environment. Nobody exists outside of their environment.
That's one of the fundamental flaws of neo-libertarian conservatism. People who support a laissez-faire "winners and losers" society, guided by unbridled competition and the invisible hand of the free market, act as if everybody is born to nearly equal opportunities and "winning" is almost entirely a function of personal virtue. When in fact, evidence suggests the exact opposite. For the most part, you are what your parents were. As an example, you should read this piece about Donald Trump's fortune. But if you don't, here is the gist: All of Donald Trump's money came from his father. Over the past 35 years, he has been a subpar investor, and has probably lost money compared to the market. That is, if he just put his money into a typical 401(k) and ignored it (like the vast majority of the U.S. workforce), he would be even richer than he is today. My brother posted this story on Facebook, and I replied with what I thought was a pretty good quip: Donald Trump was born on third base, ran back to second, and brags about how he hit a double.
But I digress ...
Things have more or less settled in over here at the G & G household. We've got our system down, which, I suppose, makes me a "system dad." I typically go to work, come home about 6:30 p.m., do a quick bit of yoga (if I'm lucky) and eat dinner. Then I'm on Lil' S1 duty until he goes to bed around 8:30 (he's been better with bedtime of late). Then I switch off to Lil' S2 duty to give S and her mom a contiguous block of uninterrupted sleep. I usually pass him off at around 1:00 a.m., and then I sleep until about 7:30 a.m. I wake up and get Lil' S1 off to school on my way to work. Lather, rinse, repeat.
It's not a bad routine. I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night, which is nice, but I have very little free-time. By the time I get Lil' S2 to sleep, I usually have just few hours to cram in all the things that I really want to do. But maybe I should just be grateful* for those few hours. I have several advantages many others raising kids don't have -- namely a mother in-law who is an enormous help, letting S sleep when she needs it (which in turn allows me to sleep at night) and cooking almost every meal for us. Also, we have enough money to, say, hire house-cleaners to come once a month. Since we both work, finances are not super stressful for us. I definitely do not take things like this for granted.
On the other side of the coin, I have one major disadvantage: Lil' S1. People ask how he's doing with the new addition, and my standard response is, "He's a pain in my ass, but it has nothing to do with his little brother. He was like that before S even got pregnant." I wouldn't change Lil' S1 for anything; I like the way he is, but he's a lot of work. He has three main modes -- bouncing off the walls, incessant whining (actually, I would change this about him, if I could), or staring at the iPod like a zombie. There is another mode -- thoughtful, play-quietly or listen-to-a-story mode, but it never lasts long. Usually we can coax him into it at the end of the night when he's tired.
By the way, quick aside, I read Lil' S1 a few stories every night before he goes to bed, and I find myself constantly changing the content on the fly because what is actually on the page is not really appropriate. For example, Bambi is fraught with veiled sexism (Faline needs Bambi to come save her more than once), and Jack and the Beanstalk has some awful messages. Jack trades his mother's cow for so-called magic beans and is rewarded when the magic works (bad message number one). Then he goes into the giant's house without permission (bad message number two). Then the giant categorizes him by his ethnicity and uses the term "Englishman" in a implicitly pejorative way (bad message number three). Then Jack steals the giant's goose and his flute (bad message number four). And then Jack's mother chops down the beanstalk, killing the giant (bad message number five). And then Jack and his mother live happily ever after on their stolen riches (bad message number six). I'm not trying to raise Lil' S1 to be a member of the PC Police or anything like that, but, damn, how I am supposed to read him a story in which the protagonists are blatant thieves and murderers?
Anyway, getting back to Lil' S1 and what a handful he can be, this is how I woke up this morning: He burst into my room, shouted "wake up, Daddy!" at top of his lungs, climbed onto the bed, stood on top of me, cannonballed onto the bed next to me, rolled over on top me, and started slapping my exposed belly. That is -- literally -- how I woke up this morning. Thankfully it was already 9:15 a.m. (S let me sleep in a bit), and also thankfully S's sister is in town, and she took him to the park shortly thereafter, giving me a chance to write this post. So, you know, it's just like Billy Shears says "I get by with a little help from my friends" -- or in this case family.
So the last thing I want to touch on, Kim Davis, that asshole clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky who has become a celebrity by refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, has been arrested and placed in jail. Two points on this: 1) If she was a radical Muslim refusing to issue marriage licenses to non-Muslims, under the rationale that it violates her religion to aid the unions of infidels, I doubt the "religious freedom" warriors like Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz would be defending her; 2) I've read a lot of comments on social media about how this is what she wants, because it makes her a martyr, to which I say, "good." She gets what she wants, gay couples in her county get what they want, and the rest of us can get on with our damn lives. Sound like win, win, win to me. And if she really is motivated by martyrdom, I think she's going to get to a rude awakening in a few months when nobody on either side of the debate gives a rip about her anymore. This woman lives in America after all, we don't have long attention spans here; her 15 minutes are nearly up.
Ok, that's all I got. Until next time ...
*Grateful is an odd word, isn't it? Full of grate? It seems like it should be greatful.
That's one of the fundamental flaws of neo-libertarian conservatism. People who support a laissez-faire "winners and losers" society, guided by unbridled competition and the invisible hand of the free market, act as if everybody is born to nearly equal opportunities and "winning" is almost entirely a function of personal virtue. When in fact, evidence suggests the exact opposite. For the most part, you are what your parents were. As an example, you should read this piece about Donald Trump's fortune. But if you don't, here is the gist: All of Donald Trump's money came from his father. Over the past 35 years, he has been a subpar investor, and has probably lost money compared to the market. That is, if he just put his money into a typical 401(k) and ignored it (like the vast majority of the U.S. workforce), he would be even richer than he is today. My brother posted this story on Facebook, and I replied with what I thought was a pretty good quip: Donald Trump was born on third base, ran back to second, and brags about how he hit a double.
But I digress ...
Things have more or less settled in over here at the G & G household. We've got our system down, which, I suppose, makes me a "system dad." I typically go to work, come home about 6:30 p.m., do a quick bit of yoga (if I'm lucky) and eat dinner. Then I'm on Lil' S1 duty until he goes to bed around 8:30 (he's been better with bedtime of late). Then I switch off to Lil' S2 duty to give S and her mom a contiguous block of uninterrupted sleep. I usually pass him off at around 1:00 a.m., and then I sleep until about 7:30 a.m. I wake up and get Lil' S1 off to school on my way to work. Lather, rinse, repeat.
It's not a bad routine. I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night, which is nice, but I have very little free-time. By the time I get Lil' S2 to sleep, I usually have just few hours to cram in all the things that I really want to do. But maybe I should just be grateful* for those few hours. I have several advantages many others raising kids don't have -- namely a mother in-law who is an enormous help, letting S sleep when she needs it (which in turn allows me to sleep at night) and cooking almost every meal for us. Also, we have enough money to, say, hire house-cleaners to come once a month. Since we both work, finances are not super stressful for us. I definitely do not take things like this for granted.
On the other side of the coin, I have one major disadvantage: Lil' S1. People ask how he's doing with the new addition, and my standard response is, "He's a pain in my ass, but it has nothing to do with his little brother. He was like that before S even got pregnant." I wouldn't change Lil' S1 for anything; I like the way he is, but he's a lot of work. He has three main modes -- bouncing off the walls, incessant whining (actually, I would change this about him, if I could), or staring at the iPod like a zombie. There is another mode -- thoughtful, play-quietly or listen-to-a-story mode, but it never lasts long. Usually we can coax him into it at the end of the night when he's tired.
By the way, quick aside, I read Lil' S1 a few stories every night before he goes to bed, and I find myself constantly changing the content on the fly because what is actually on the page is not really appropriate. For example, Bambi is fraught with veiled sexism (Faline needs Bambi to come save her more than once), and Jack and the Beanstalk has some awful messages. Jack trades his mother's cow for so-called magic beans and is rewarded when the magic works (bad message number one). Then he goes into the giant's house without permission (bad message number two). Then the giant categorizes him by his ethnicity and uses the term "Englishman" in a implicitly pejorative way (bad message number three). Then Jack steals the giant's goose and his flute (bad message number four). And then Jack's mother chops down the beanstalk, killing the giant (bad message number five). And then Jack and his mother live happily ever after on their stolen riches (bad message number six). I'm not trying to raise Lil' S1 to be a member of the PC Police or anything like that, but, damn, how I am supposed to read him a story in which the protagonists are blatant thieves and murderers?
[If one of my kids ever trades our cow for "magic" beans, he will absolutely be sent to bed without supper.]
Anyway, getting back to Lil' S1 and what a handful he can be, this is how I woke up this morning: He burst into my room, shouted "wake up, Daddy!" at top of his lungs, climbed onto the bed, stood on top of me, cannonballed onto the bed next to me, rolled over on top me, and started slapping my exposed belly. That is -- literally -- how I woke up this morning. Thankfully it was already 9:15 a.m. (S let me sleep in a bit), and also thankfully S's sister is in town, and she took him to the park shortly thereafter, giving me a chance to write this post. So, you know, it's just like Billy Shears says "I get by with a little help from my friends" -- or in this case family.
So the last thing I want to touch on, Kim Davis, that asshole clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky who has become a celebrity by refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, has been arrested and placed in jail. Two points on this: 1) If she was a radical Muslim refusing to issue marriage licenses to non-Muslims, under the rationale that it violates her religion to aid the unions of infidels, I doubt the "religious freedom" warriors like Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz would be defending her; 2) I've read a lot of comments on social media about how this is what she wants, because it makes her a martyr, to which I say, "good." She gets what she wants, gay couples in her county get what they want, and the rest of us can get on with our damn lives. Sound like win, win, win to me. And if she really is motivated by martyrdom, I think she's going to get to a rude awakening in a few months when nobody on either side of the debate gives a rip about her anymore. This woman lives in America after all, we don't have long attention spans here; her 15 minutes are nearly up.
Ok, that's all I got. Until next time ...
*Grateful is an odd word, isn't it? Full of grate? It seems like it should be greatful.
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