Update to my last post: Everything got resolved quite nicely with respect to the swirl of Pokémon theft surrounding my oldest son. I didn't get involved at all, and that proved to be a wise decision. Kids usually figure shit out on their own, and if they don't, then they learn from it, and as long as the stakes are relatively low, that's a good thing. Sometimes, I think, the best move is just to butt out, which is nice, as it also means less work on me, the parent.
He got his book back, the Pokémon catalog, which I'm legitimately surprised by. I thought that thing was gone for good. A girl at his school "found" it and gave it to him. This little girl already has a reputation for being "manipulative" (three different sets of parents have independently used this exact adjective to describe her), so it's quite possible she was the one who took it in the first place. Maybe she started to feel guilty; maybe an adult started to question why she had a book with my son's name written all over it; maybe she really did find it and I shouldn't be so cynical. Dunno; don't care; glad he got it back.
As for the situation in which he "found" another kid's card, last night we had the following conversation:
Him: Hey, Daddy, you know that Pokémon card you wanted me to give back to Shawn (pseudonym)? I gave it back to him today.
Me: That's good. Did you tell him you took it in the first place?
Him: No... I told him I found it in the cafeteria.
Me: Okay... better than nothing, I guess. Did he punch you, like you said he would?
Him: No.
Me: What did he say?
Him: He said, "Aw, thanks, bro. I was looking for this." ... Actually, he can't get mad at me.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because we're BFFs now!
S (overhearing, chuckling): Do you even know what BFF stands for?
Him: Yeah -- Best Friends Forever!
So, apparently they're BFFs. Although, my guess is they're actually BFFTTBPAFW: Best Friends For The Time Being, Probably A Few Weeks. Still, that's a positive result, all things considered.
Unfortunately, once one issue resolves itself another one pops up. We got two notes sent home to us from Lil' S1's teacher about misbehavior. The first one was for peeing in the bathroom sink (seriously); the second one was for reading a book during math lesson. The thing about Lil' S1, and maybe this is true of most kids, is that he will form a defense of himself when he gets in trouble and then stick to it like glue. In this case, he claims he had to go so badly, and all the stalls and urinals were occupied, that he had to go in the sink. This is plausible, kinda, sorta, but I'm not buying it. Kids take like 20 seconds to pee, something would've opened up, and this kid can hold his pee seemingly forever when he's doing something he enjoys and doesn't want to take a break (watching a movie, playing video games, etc.). When I pointed this out to him, he still said he couldn't hold it and had to go in the sink. Whatever.
With the reading during math lesson, he said he didn't feel well, because he got in trouble, and reading books makes him feel better. I'm much more sympathetic to this defense. It seems reasonable that a kid would be upset after being "busted" by the teacher and would need a cool-off period before resuming normal activities. Plus, he was reading a book. It's not like he was disrupting class or playing with contraband or something like that. When it comes to bad things to do during math lesson, reading is pretty close to the bottom of the list.
But, of course, he should pay attention, and he shouldn't pee in the sink (so uncouth!), and if we get any more notices from his teacher, we will have to hit him where it hurts: screen time. We will cut him off for a while -- no video games, no iPad, no TV. It will be harder on us than it will be on him, but it's definitely something that will get his attention.
Speaking of children behaving badly: Impeachment! It looks like our man-child president has finally crossed the moderate Democrats line. I'm personally in favor of it. It's the right thing to do, and politically I don't think it moves the needle much one way or the other. My hunch is that, if anything, it will hurt his reelection bid, but that's just that: a guess -- and a biased one at that. Anyway, I'm sure I will have more to say about that at a future date.
In other news, I won my fantasy baseball league for the third year in a row (and made the finals for the fourth straight season). This is a truly remarkable feat. The thing about fantasy sports is that there is so much randomness involved that nobody can be that good. It's a bit like poker that way. You can do everything right and still lose because your opponent just gets the cards. On the flip side, you can not even pay attention and win by total fluke. So, being champion of a legitimate league once is really lucky, let alone three times. But, it also takes some skill. I drafted exquisitely this year, somehow getting Mike Trout (aka the Neckless Baseball God), Alex Bregman, and Ronald Acuña Jr. with my first three picks. Then I hit on a bunch of late-round sleepers/waiver-wire pickups like Josh Bell, Ketel Marte, Joey Gallo, Charlie Morton, and Lance Lynn. I lost about half my team to season-ending injury throughout the playoffs but still managed to claim victory. Ex-Mariner James Paxton really came through for me.
I joined a second league this year and made the playoffs in it, as well. But, I lost in the first round to my buddy RW. It was ridiculously close. In the final game of the week, I had a single player left, J.T. Realmuto, and he had nobody left. I was losing the deciding category, OPS, by like .005 points. Realmuto struck out in his first at bat which dropped me down even lower, but then he doubled in his second at bat, which put me up by a few hundredths of a point. In his third at bat, he made another out, which dropped me exactly .001 points in behind. Realmuto was on pace to come up twice more, and our match hinged on what he did in those final plate appearances -- a hit or a walk in either and I would win, two outs and RW would win. I was following the game online; RW was watching it at a bar; and we were texting back and forth. Realmuto's spot came up in the order and... pinch-hitter. What?! No!!! He was out of the game. Our match was over. I lost by .001 OPS points. Oh, well. I shook it off pretty easily. I was still feeling good from winning my other league, and RW seemed happier about it than I would have been. Bully for him.
Alright, that's probably more fantasy baseball talk then anybody wanted to read, so I'll stop now.
Until next time...
He got his book back, the Pokémon catalog, which I'm legitimately surprised by. I thought that thing was gone for good. A girl at his school "found" it and gave it to him. This little girl already has a reputation for being "manipulative" (three different sets of parents have independently used this exact adjective to describe her), so it's quite possible she was the one who took it in the first place. Maybe she started to feel guilty; maybe an adult started to question why she had a book with my son's name written all over it; maybe she really did find it and I shouldn't be so cynical. Dunno; don't care; glad he got it back.
As for the situation in which he "found" another kid's card, last night we had the following conversation:
Him: Hey, Daddy, you know that Pokémon card you wanted me to give back to Shawn (pseudonym)? I gave it back to him today.
Me: That's good. Did you tell him you took it in the first place?
Him: No... I told him I found it in the cafeteria.
Me: Okay... better than nothing, I guess. Did he punch you, like you said he would?
Him: No.
Me: What did he say?
Him: He said, "Aw, thanks, bro. I was looking for this." ... Actually, he can't get mad at me.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because we're BFFs now!
S (overhearing, chuckling): Do you even know what BFF stands for?
Him: Yeah -- Best Friends Forever!
So, apparently they're BFFs. Although, my guess is they're actually BFFTTBPAFW: Best Friends For The Time Being, Probably A Few Weeks. Still, that's a positive result, all things considered.
Unfortunately, once one issue resolves itself another one pops up. We got two notes sent home to us from Lil' S1's teacher about misbehavior. The first one was for peeing in the bathroom sink (seriously); the second one was for reading a book during math lesson. The thing about Lil' S1, and maybe this is true of most kids, is that he will form a defense of himself when he gets in trouble and then stick to it like glue. In this case, he claims he had to go so badly, and all the stalls and urinals were occupied, that he had to go in the sink. This is plausible, kinda, sorta, but I'm not buying it. Kids take like 20 seconds to pee, something would've opened up, and this kid can hold his pee seemingly forever when he's doing something he enjoys and doesn't want to take a break (watching a movie, playing video games, etc.). When I pointed this out to him, he still said he couldn't hold it and had to go in the sink. Whatever.
With the reading during math lesson, he said he didn't feel well, because he got in trouble, and reading books makes him feel better. I'm much more sympathetic to this defense. It seems reasonable that a kid would be upset after being "busted" by the teacher and would need a cool-off period before resuming normal activities. Plus, he was reading a book. It's not like he was disrupting class or playing with contraband or something like that. When it comes to bad things to do during math lesson, reading is pretty close to the bottom of the list.
But, of course, he should pay attention, and he shouldn't pee in the sink (so uncouth!), and if we get any more notices from his teacher, we will have to hit him where it hurts: screen time. We will cut him off for a while -- no video games, no iPad, no TV. It will be harder on us than it will be on him, but it's definitely something that will get his attention.
Speaking of children behaving badly: Impeachment! It looks like our man-child president has finally crossed the moderate Democrats line. I'm personally in favor of it. It's the right thing to do, and politically I don't think it moves the needle much one way or the other. My hunch is that, if anything, it will hurt his reelection bid, but that's just that: a guess -- and a biased one at that. Anyway, I'm sure I will have more to say about that at a future date.
In other news, I won my fantasy baseball league for the third year in a row (and made the finals for the fourth straight season). This is a truly remarkable feat. The thing about fantasy sports is that there is so much randomness involved that nobody can be that good. It's a bit like poker that way. You can do everything right and still lose because your opponent just gets the cards. On the flip side, you can not even pay attention and win by total fluke. So, being champion of a legitimate league once is really lucky, let alone three times. But, it also takes some skill. I drafted exquisitely this year, somehow getting Mike Trout (aka the Neckless Baseball God), Alex Bregman, and Ronald Acuña Jr. with my first three picks. Then I hit on a bunch of late-round sleepers/waiver-wire pickups like Josh Bell, Ketel Marte, Joey Gallo, Charlie Morton, and Lance Lynn. I lost about half my team to season-ending injury throughout the playoffs but still managed to claim victory. Ex-Mariner James Paxton really came through for me.
[Yes, Mike! Celebrate that championship! Just fantasy, of course. The Angels don't make the playoffs in real life... Hey, neither do the Mariners -- it's cool.]
I joined a second league this year and made the playoffs in it, as well. But, I lost in the first round to my buddy RW. It was ridiculously close. In the final game of the week, I had a single player left, J.T. Realmuto, and he had nobody left. I was losing the deciding category, OPS, by like .005 points. Realmuto struck out in his first at bat which dropped me down even lower, but then he doubled in his second at bat, which put me up by a few hundredths of a point. In his third at bat, he made another out, which dropped me exactly .001 points in behind. Realmuto was on pace to come up twice more, and our match hinged on what he did in those final plate appearances -- a hit or a walk in either and I would win, two outs and RW would win. I was following the game online; RW was watching it at a bar; and we were texting back and forth. Realmuto's spot came up in the order and... pinch-hitter. What?! No!!! He was out of the game. Our match was over. I lost by .001 OPS points. Oh, well. I shook it off pretty easily. I was still feeling good from winning my other league, and RW seemed happier about it than I would have been. Bully for him.
Alright, that's probably more fantasy baseball talk then anybody wanted to read, so I'll stop now.
Until next time...
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