But he's older now, so I thought optimistically: Surely it won't be as bad this time. And it wasn't. But it wasn't good neither. He still had a little panic attack and was physically fighting to get away from the doctor. I grabbed him, but he's much bigger now than he was three years ago (it's like wrestling a Doberman Pinscher), and so it was a challenge to restrain him. Thankfully, the doctor is one of those no-nonsense ladies -- a total professional -- and she just went jab, reload, jab, reload, jab, done, like she was John Wick surrounded by Russian gangsters. It was impressive.
Unfortunately, however, that was only Part 1. He also had to get a couple vials of blood drawn for blood work, and that is not just a quick prick. You have to be still and let the doctor find a good vein and then sit there with a tube in your arm for a minute or two. The doctor was so discouraged by his behavior during shots (everybody has their limit) that she suggested we bring him back another time. But I was like: Fuck that! I am NOT coming back. We are doing this now! I don't care if I have to psychically pin him down in a way that will traumatize him for the next twenty years. I'll pay for the therapy. And I expressed this sentiment, worded in a much less psychopathic manner.
So, the doc set up the blood-drawing station, preparing for the worst, but weirdly he just sat there and didn't fuss at all, even when the needle went into his vein. It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It was a very pleasant surprise. Although, that's kinda Lil' S1's way. Something "big" will happen -- he'll have a meltdown or fight with his brother or get in trouble with S or me -- and he'll be at DEFCON 1, and then five minutes later he's totally chill, acting like nothing ever happened. I don't know if he's actually moved on or if it's a defense mechanism or what. And he's not very forthcoming when I ask him about such things. We had a conversation something like the following later in the evening.
Me: Why were you freaking out so much at the doctor's office? You can't act like that anymore. You're past that age.
Lil' S1: I just hate shots.
Me: I know, they suck, but you got your blood drawn without freaking out, and that's a way bigger needle and it stays in you for like a minute. Shots are over in two seconds, and they don't really hurt.
Lil' S1: They do hurt!
Me: Not really.
Lil' S1: They do to me! You can't get in my head and feel what I feel.
[Lil' S2 overhears our conversation and joins in, sensing an opportunity to get one over on his brother.]
Lil' S2: Did you cry when you got your shots?
Lil' S1: Yeah, I cried.
Lil' S2: I didn't cry when I got mine and they hurt me just as bad.
Lil' S1: So.
Lil' S2: So, I'm almost three years younger than you, and I didn't cry.
Me: Yeah, why do you, the older brother, freak out when your younger brother doesn't? Isn't that embarrassing for you?
Lil' S1: No, I don't care. And I'm not Lil' S2. Don't you always say that I should be myself?
Me: Yes, good point.... Let me put it this way: I'm glad that it doesn't bother you -- I like it when you are yourself -- but I still wish that you wouldn't freak out every time you have to get a shot.
Lil' S1: I know. I just hate shots.
Me: I understand that. But they're part of living a healthy life. That's how you get vaccinated. I mean, would you rather have a tiny bit of pain from a shot or the pain from a disease that's twenty times worse?
Lil' S2: Not twenty times, like, twenty-thousand times.
---------------------------------------
In other news, we went to see Blue Beetle last night. I went in not knowing anything about it. I didn't even know it was a superhero movie (although I probably should have inferred as much from the title), and I was kinda disappointed once I realized as much. I'm tired of seeing the same thing over and over when I go to the theater. And this was very much the same thing: evil-doer introduced and seeds of evil scheme sown in opening scene; next we meet our young, conventionally attractive, but kinda awkward, protagonist; he or she (usually he) has a wisecracking sidekick; protagonist chances into meeting with love interest; protagonist somehow get superpowers they don't want and try to get rid of (there's often a scene of uncontrollable superpower high-jinks); superpowers cause problems and make protagonist sad; protagonist reluctantly becomes hero, in a scene in which they use their super powers accidentally or unwittingly to save the day; protagonist gets involved with an evil-doer, usually by way of a love interest somehow related to said evil-doer; protagonist and love interest have a moment in which they are about to kiss but it gets interrupted; protagonist suffers big loss (often death of a loved one) at hands of evil-doer; expository scene in which evil-doers scheme is fully explained to audience members who haven't picked up on it yet; protagonist has self-reflecting moment (often containing flashbacks); protagonist sets out to stop evil-doer from doing evil; protagonist is aided by acquaintance who happens to be amazing inventor/computer programmer/all-around technology whiz; protagonist and team journey to evil-doer, perhaps through some sort of portal to another dimension; protagonist and team defeat henchmen and breach evil-doer's fortress; protagonist gets separated from team and has long final battle with evil-doer that they win but only with help from re-emergent love interest, wise-cracking sidekick, random character you thought was too weak/scared/inept to help, mistreated henchman who finally turns against the evil-doer, and dead loved one (often via mystical inspiration); flash forward to final scene where all previous destruction from evil-doer is reconciled, the protagonist and love interest finally kiss, and ride off into the sunset, and the sidekick makes one heartfelt remark followed by last wisecrack; credits roll and then there is a bonus scene setting up the next movie in the series.
That's it. That's almost every movie that comes out now.
But with all that said, this movie isn't totally devoid of entertaining moments. It has some good performances and those can often carry the day even in super formulaic movies. Xolo Maridueña is super charismatic (Miguel Diaz! Cobra Kai!); George Lopez is pretty funny; and Susan Sarandon is always one of my faves. Plus, we took the kids, and they all seemed to like it (five kids total because we went with another family), so that's good. I'm at the stage in parenting where movie-going isn't about me. And the sad part is once my kids are old enough to see the movies in the theater that I want to see, they probably won't want to hang out with me.
Or, even worse, there won't even be any movies in theaters I want to see. We seem to be trending that way now (and the SAG-AFTRA strike surely only exacerbates the issue). I'm trying to think of the last really good movie I saw in the theater. Air was decent -- an enjoyable throwback to the type of movie I'd see at the mall with a friend in 1992 -- but I wouldn't say it was really good. To find a film with that designation, I think you have to go back to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and that was four years ago! Streaming and prestige television are wonderful innovations, but they can't replace the theater experience. I hope we have an "actually good films that play in the theater for longer than a week" renaissance in the near future. Although, I heard both Oppenheimer and Barbie were good, and I haven't made much effort to see either, so maybe I'm the problem. That's always a possibility.
Until next time...
[Apropos of nothing, here's a model bicycle Lil' S1 made with his 3D-printer pen. He's getting pretty good with that thing.]
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