Saturday, December 15, 2012

Entry 149: Twelve Days of XMas, 12-7

So this headline from The Onion pretty much sums up everybody's sentiment following yesterday's horrific news.  I had paragraphs of bombast in my brain ready go on gun control, mental health, and our obscenely violent culture, but when I started to type it all out, I got depressed, so I stopped.  Instead I'm going to write about happy things.  I'm not burying my head in the sand and pretending that evil doesn't exist, I'm just not writing about it here.  Plus, the absurd amount of media attention we give these atrocious acts is probably part of the problem -- it encourages the next round of psychopaths to go bigger and bolder.  So, my faithful five readers, I'm going in completely different, much happier direction.



It's Christmas time.  Even though I grew up in an areligious household, we celebrated Christmas, using it as a special family day.  (Recently, I got into a mini-argument with a Christian friend of mine who said she was bothered by non-Christians like me celebrating Christmas.  She said we denigrate it and illegitimatize it for true believers.  Knowing that she's extremely liberal on social issues, I sarcastically said, "Yeah, I feel like gay marriage does the same thing to straight marriage."  It was one of my better comebacks.)  Even though as I get older and older I think more and more that this Scrooge guy was on to something, a lot of great memories from my childhood are Christmas-related, so I decided to do two all Christmas blog entries in the form of "The Twelve Days of Christmas".  I'll do days 12-7 this week and 6-1 next week.

Day 12: Twelve Foods I'll Miss This Year
Instead of going back to the Sea-Tac region for Xmas like we have in the past, some family on my wife's side is coming here, which means I'll be eating Indian food for Christmas.  It'll be delicious, but I will miss the following nonetheless (in order of degree missed).

12. Turkey (our usual Xmas Eve dinner)
11. Mashed potatoes and gravy
10. Stuffing
 9.  Apple pie
 8.  Pumpkin pie
 7.  Baked ham (our usual Xmas dinner)
 6.  Deli-fresh pepperoni (always seems to be around my parents' house during the yule season)
 5.  Yams with marshmallows (only time I enjoy marshmallows with anything)
 4.  Eggnog (I suppose I could actually buy some here easily enough)
 3.  Scalloped Potatoes (much, much better than mashed potatoes and gravy -- a controversial stance, I know)
 2.  Mushroom soup (a specialty of a family friend we usually see on Christmas Eve)
 1.  Kielbasa (hand ground and wrapped by my dad)



Day 11: Twelve Non-Christmas Songs That Remind Me of Christmas
Christmas, 1991 was arguably the best Christmas from my childhood.  I had recently got my own CD player, so I asked for a bunch of CDs for Xmas.  My parents real came through on this one, buying me just about everything on my list: Nirvana, Nevermind; U2, Achtung Baby; Erasure, Chorus; Ned's Atomic Dustbin, God Fodder, just to name a few.

Also, in 1994 I made a very eclectic mixed tape featuring bands from the Beatles down to Suicidal Tendencies.  I remember listening to it every time I drove somewhere over Christmas break.   

11. "Norwegian Wood", The Beatles
10. "Right Now", Van Halen
 9.  "Head Like A Hole", Nine Inch Nails
 8.  "I Saw Your Mommy", Suicidal Tendencies
 7.  "Message in a Bottle", The Police
 6.  "The Fly", U2
 5.  "Chorus", Erasure
 4.  "Love to Hate You", Erasure
 3.  "Grey Cell Green", Ned's Atomic Dustbin
 2.  "Lithium", Nirvana
 1.  "Polly", Nirvana




Day 10: Ten Great Offensive Tecmo Super Bowl Characters
Christmas, 1991 again.  I got the best Christmas gift I've ever received -- Tecmo Super Bowl for NES.  The first sports game ever with real teams, real players, and real-time stats.  I played an entire 16-game season (plus playoffs) on Christmas day (I was the Packers), then I brought it my friend JY's house the next day, and we played another entire season together (I was the Falcons he was the 49ers).  So essentially three entire seasons were played in two days.  In total, I'd estimate I played somewhere around 50 seasons of this game in my life.  For at least 15 of them I copied the season statistics to notebook paper by hand after I finished them.  I still have the papers in a folder in a box in my basement.  Here are some great offensive characters.  I've weighted to give preference to those players whose ability on the game far outweighed their ability in real life.

10. Dwight Stone, Kick Returner, Pittsburgh Steelers
  9. Ricky Proehl, Wide Receiver, Arizona Cardinals
  8. Christian Okoye, Running Back, Kansas City Chiefs
  7. Barry Sanders, Running Back, Detroit Lions
  6. QB Eagles, Quarterback, Philadelphia Eagles
  5. Warren Moon, Quarterback, Houston Oilers
  4. Thurman Thomas, Running Back, Buffalo Bills
  3. Joe Montana, Quarterback, San Francisco 49ers
  2. Jerry Rice, Wide Receiver, San Francisco 49ers
  1. Bo Jackson (His skills on the game are legendary -- SO much better on the game than real life, as the clip below verifies.)



Day 9: Ten Great Defensive Tecmo Super Bowl Characters
If you couldn't tell, I really liked this game.

 9. Dave Waymer, Cornerback, San Francisco 49ers
 8. Rufus Porter, Linebacker, Seattle Seahawks
 7. Mark Carrier, Safety, Chicago Bears
 6. Charles Haley, Linebacker,  San Francisco 49ers
 5. David Fulcher, Safety, Cincinnati Bengals
 4. Cornelius Bennett, Linebacker, Buffalo Bills 
 3. Lawrence Taylor, Linebacker, New York Giants
 2. Deion Sanders, Cornerback, Atlanta Falcons
 1. Rod Woodson, Cornerback, Pittsburgh Steelers (I could dominate with the Steelers D because of him)

[Interesting factoid: Rod Woodson is depicted as a white man on Tecmo Super Bowl.]


Day 8: Eight "Great" Punny Christmas-related Crossword Puzzle Clues
I use quotes because can any pun really be considered great?

 8. Cupid's mate? (DASHER)
 7. Short winter day? (XMAS)
 6. Subordinate Clauses? (ELVES)
 5. Nick name? (CLAUS)
 4. Present time? (YULE)
 3. Winter air? (CAROL)
 2. Northern star? (SANTA)
 1. Little help? (ELF)

[A Christmas Carol?]


Day 7: Seven Christmas Songs That Remind Me of Christmas

 7. "Santa Baby", Eartha Kitt (I noticed recently that at some point in the song she asks for the "deed to a platinum mine".  That's a rather specific and grandiose request.  If you get it, do you really need all the other stuff?)
 6. "Blue Christmas", Elvis Presley
 5. "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman / We Three Kings", Barenaked Ladies Feat. Sarah McLachlan
 4. "Carol of the Bells", Peter Griffin
 3. "Christmas at Ground Zero", Weird Al (It's not quite as funny since 9/11.)
 2. "Little Drummer Boy", David Bowie and Bing Crosby
 1. "White Christmas", Bing Crosby (A classic, beloved only by me and 50 million others.  Last year  I watched the movie "Holiday Inn" that introduced the song.  It's a pretty good flick if you can get past the 1940s-style hokeyness... and the horribly offensive blackface number.) 
 


[I really wanted to put this clip from "Holiday Inn" in, but embedding was disabled.]

Well, until next time...

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